


My Life is a Song

by tdrummer14



Category: iCarly
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2011-04-04
Updated: 2011-09-06
Packaged: 2014-12-15 07:55:31
Rating: T
Chapters: 10
Words: 45,874
Publisher: www.fanfiction.net
Story URL: https://www.fanfiction.net/s/6877077/1/
Author URL: https://www.fanfiction.net/u/2818310/tdrummer14
Summary: A series of one-shots in Sam and Freddie's life. This is NOT a songfic.





	1. Shut up and Put Your Money Where Your

**Hello everyone. I have read a lot of fan fiction and have finally decided to try my hand at it. This is my first story, so please understand if there are a lot of mistakes.**

**I'll take this time to describe what this story is about since the summery did not completely explain it. First of all, this is NOT a songfic. This story is a series of one-shots in Sam and Freddie's life. Not all of them will be in chronological order. The meaning for the story's title is that each chapter's title will be a lyric from a song. The plot of each chapter will be based on that lyric (not necessarily the whole song). Some of the songs are old, some new, all of them favorites of mine.**

**You can try to guess what song the lyric is from just for the fun of it. I'll try to stay away from the song's title as much as possible. I'm debating on whether or not I'm allowed to tell you what the song is in the next chapter. Please let me know if I can. Well, let's get started. I hope you enjoy it.**

**Disclaimer: I do not own iCarly or any of the songs referenced in the titles.**

Chapter 1

Shut up and Put Your Money Where Your Mouth is

Sunday morning at the Shays' apartment started off pretty normal. Well…as normal as it was for its residents. Sam and Freddie came over to the apartment for breakfast, the two got into an argument, Sam shoved a grape up Freddie's nose, Carly scolded Sam, the usual. At around 10:00, the trio was up in the iCarly studio. Carly was sitting in one of the beanbag chairs, working on her math homework. Sam was playing Violin Hero on the rotating studio screen. Freddie was texting on his PearPhone.

"Yes!" shouted Sam raising her arms in the air. Her two best friends looked up from their activities. Sam put down the violin and did a victory dance all over the room. Carly rolled her eyes and returned to her homework. Freddie just stared. Sam stopped her dancing and picked her violin back up.

"I so rock at this game! Check out the score," said Sam pointing to the screen with her violin bow. Freddie looked at the screen to see a score of 389,486 points.

"Wow, that's pretty good Sam," said Freddie.

"'Pretty good'? This is the score of a master. Nobody can beat me at this game."

"That's not possible. There are over 6 billion people in the world. There's bound to be someone better at this game than you."

"Yeah right," said Sam as she started up the next song and began to play. "The people of the world can try all they want, but they will bow down to me after I kick their butts at this."

"I know you are really good at this game Sam, but you can't say that there is no chance of anyone ever winning a game against you."

Sam snorted at his comment. "I said it once and I'll say it again. Absolutely **nobody** can beat me at this game."

Freddie stood up and looked at Sam with determination in his eyes. "You wanna bet on that?"

The bow on the violin froze in mid-strum. Carly immediately stopped writing in her notebook and looked up at her friends. After a few seconds, the arm holding the violin bow slowly came down to Sam's side. Then the blonde turned around to look at Freddie.

"Did Freddenstein Benson just challenge me to a duel?"

Freddie crossed his arms and smirked at her. "Maybe I did."

Sam smirked back at him. Carly looked back and forth between her friends with an expression on her face that was a combination of "Here we go again" and "This should be interesting."

"You think you can beat me at Violin Hero?"

"I happen to be pretty good at this game. I think I can hold my own against you."

Sam put down her violin and walked toward Freddie until she was face to face with him.

"I accept your challenge Fredwart. What are the terms?"

Carly put down her notebook and pencil and stood up to walk towards the pair. She knew that she had to be there to keep the peace and ensure that it was a fair bet. The trio spent the next few minutes discussing the bet. Sam and Freddie would play against each other for a maximum of 11 songs. Carly would be selecting the songs so that neither player would have an advantage. The person to get the higher score in the most number of songs wins the bet. The loser would then have to do whatever the winner requested. What made this bet even more interesting was that both competitors would not know what their opponent's request is until after the match. Sam and Freddie wrote down their requests on separate pieces of paper and gave them to Carly to look at and decide if they were reasonable. She accepted Freddie's request and Sam's third request. She threw out Sam's first two requests because the first one was too dangerous and the second one would have put Freddie in juvie. Sam and Freddie shook hands to seal the deal. After checking the batteries of both violins and making sure that Spencer's latest sculpture would not shut down the power, the two violinists picked up their weapons and got ready to duel.

"Okay guys," said Carly. "I've made the playlist on this game and both violins are set on difficult mode. Are you ready?"

Both players nodded.

"Then let's get started!" she said and she pressed the button to start the game.

"Prepare to get pwned Fredderson," said Sam as the screen began loading the first song.

"Same goes for you Sammy," said Freddie.

Then the song began and the two started playing.

* * *

><p>About 35 minutes passed and the two teenagers were on their final song. Sam and Freddie were tied in the number of songs won, so this song would determine the winner. Sam was currently in the lead, but Freddie was not far behind. Both players were sweating and struggling to get the higher score.<p>

"Giving up Benson?"

"Not a chance Puckett!"

The song was almost over. Freddie received a full point boost and was catching up really fast. Sam quickly used her partially-filled point booster bar to try to rack up as much points as possible. Both players were moving their bows like crazy as the song was finishing in 3…2…1…

The song finally ended and the two teenagers collapsed on the floor from exhaustion. As they started catching their breath, they looked up at the screen. Both pairs of eyes (and Carly's) settled on the scores flashing in the center of the screen.

Sam: 406,790 points Freddie: 407,124 points

* * *

><p>Spencer was standing outside his apartment door fumbling for his keys. He just came from the arts and crafts store and was struggling to get his keys due to his arms being full of supplies. He finally managed to get a hold of his keys and started pushing them against the keyhole when the door slid open. Confused, Spencer entered the apartment. He found Freddie sitting on the couch rubbing his left shoulder and stretching his neck.<p>

"Oh, hey Freddie," said Spencer.

"Hi Spencer."

Spencer began setting his art supplies on the coffee table. "I didn't think you'd be in here."

"Yeah, we just got back from school. The girls are upstairs."

"Oh okay. How was school?"

"School was school. Nothing interesting happened today." Freddie continued to rub his shoulder and let out a pained moan.

"You okay there Freddie?" asked Spencer.

"Yeah, I'm fine. I had a lot of stuff in my backpack today. My shoulders are kind of hurting from carrying it."

"Do you need a massage?"

"No, that's okay Spencer," said Freddie. Then he stopped rubbing his shoulder and stared straight ahead as if something just occurred to him.

"Actually…" said Freddie. He turned toward the stairs. "Hey Sam! Come down here!" he called.

A minute later, Sam was walking down the stairs. Spencer looked up at her and couldn't believe what he was seeing. Sam was dressed up in a French maid outfit. She had on the black short skirt, the white apron, the black high heels, everything. The scowl on her face made her feelings about the situation quite obvious.

"What do you want, nerd boy?" asked Sam unenthusiastically.

"I'm sorry. What was that again Sam?" asked Freddie mockingly.

Sam leered at Freddie. "I mean, what can I do for you, _sir_?"

Freddie smiled. "That's better. My shoulders are aching right now. Can you rub them please?"

"Yes sir." Sam dragged her feet as she walked toward Freddie. She placed her hands on his shoulders and started squeezing them.

"Uh, what's going on here?" asked Spencer confused beyond belief.

"Sam and I made a bet yesterday. She claimed that nobody could beat her at Violin Hero and I said otherwise. So we played against each other and I won. Now Sam has to be my maid for a whole week."

"Ah," said Spencer in understanding.

Freddie turned his attention to the blonde maid rubbing his shoulders. "So Sam, what did you learn from all this?"

Sam resisted the urge to release his shoulders and wrap her fingers around his neck. "That there will always be someone in this world who is better at something than me."

"That's correct." Freddie said with pride.

Spencer laughed on the inside at this whole scenario. He took another look at Sam's getup. What was more unusual than the outfit itself was that Sam was also wearing jeans. She absolutely refused to show off her legs and Freddie gave her permission to wear jeans because the thought of Sam's bare legs made him blush.

Spencer looked back at Freddie. "So, what would have happened if Sam won the bet?"

"I would have had to go to school dressed up as the Little Mermaid."

"Wow, that's embarrassing. Although you do have some experience wearing outfits at school. Weren't you dressed up as a clown once?"

"Yeah, but this time I would have had to sing."

"Ah, I see."

Freddie turned his attention back to Sam. "Hey Sam, I'm hungry. Can you make me a roast beef sandwich with lettuce, tomato, and American cheese? And go light on the mayo."

Sam ceased her massaging duties and grudgingly headed into the kitchen for her next task, mumbling to herself about losing to a geek and wanting to cause him a world of hurt.

This was going to be a looooooooooong week.

* * *

><p><strong>Well, that's all for Chapter 1. Please review.<strong>


	2. Been Far Away for Far Too Long

**Hey everyone! Thank you for your reviews. They have been very helpful. The lyric from Chapter 1 is from the song **_**Waking up in Vegas**_** by Katy Perry. If you guessed correctly, good job! You get an imaginary cookie. And now, on to Chapter 2!**

**Disclaimer: Once again, I do not own iCarly or any of the songs referenced.**

Chapter 2

Been Far Away for Far Too Long

"Are you almost done packing?" Freddie called from the living room of the Shays' apartment.

"Yeah! Just a few more minutes!" Carly yelled from her bedroom.

Freddie sat on the couch and continued to wait for his brunette friend. His own suitcase was sitting on the floor next to the couch. He and Carly were getting ready to take a trip to Yellowstone National Park. Their history teacher set up an excursion to give her students a tour of Yellowstone. The class would be spending a week exploring the park, learning of its history, and taking notes for an upcoming school project. Spencer volunteered to be one of the chaperones for this trip. The class would be taking a bus to the park and to the lodge they would be staying at, but Spencer thought it would be easier if he drove Carly and Freddie. The male sibling was standing by the door with his suitcases by his side.

Another reason Spencer was going on this trip was he thought he would be able to finally catch a beavecoon. Some of the contents of his suitcases included beavecoon-trapping equipment. Of course, Carly was unaware of Spencer's motives.

Sam was sitting in one of the living room chairs with her feet on the coffee table. She did not have the same history class as Carly and Freddie, so she was not going on the trip with them.

"It's almost 8:00. We need to get going," Freddie said to Carly.

"Yeah Fredward. Keep telling a girl to hurry up. That will make her pack quickly."

Freddie turned toward the blonde. "Sam, being punctual is a very important characteristic to have in life."

"You're going to be touring a park, not visiting the President. It's no big deal if you're late for this. Come to think of it, why would the President want you to visit him? You'd bore him to death."

"Hey!" protested Freddie. "I can be interesting for the President!"

"Yeah, I'm sure he would be thrilled to hear about the use of camera wiring and the reasons why teenage boys like you can't get a girlfriend."

"Why are you here anyway?" asked Freddie. "You're not even going with us."

"I'm just here to see you off and begin celebrating my week of nub-free splendor."

"What?" asked Freddie.

"Think about it. A whole week of not seeing or hearing your dorkish little self. It will be paradise."

"That was uncalled for!"

"Your face is uncalled for."

Before the argument could spiral out of control, Carly finally walked down the stairs with two suitcases in hand.

"Okay, I'm ready!" she said.

"Alright then!" said Spencer excited. "Let's go load the car and hit the road. I'm looking forward to snagging a beav….uh, I mean learning about history and stuff. "

Carly looked at Spencer suspiciously, but then quickly shrugged it off and turned to Freddie. "I'm getting really excited, Freddie. I've always wanted to see an actual geyser."

"Yeah me too," said Freddie enthusiastically. "I hope we get to see some animals too."

"Yeah, it'll be great! You and I will be visiting this grand park together and it's for school! We'll have so much fun!"

"Hey lovebirds!" shouted Sam. "Go on your romantic getaway already! Your "togetherness" talk is making me want to hurl."

Carly and Freddie rolled their eyes at Sam and began walking out the door. Sam and Spencer followed them. They walked outside Bushwell to the car and loaded their suitcases in it. Finally, Spencer was sitting at the wheel with Carly in the front seat and Freddie in the back.

"Don't get into too much trouble while we're gone," Carly told Sam.

"Yeah, yeah. Have fun at Yellowstone," said Sam.

The car pulled out of the parking lot and drove out of sight. Sam smiled and began rubbing her hands together. Then she walked back to her house, thinking about how much she would enjoy her week of freedom and no annoying Freddie. This is going to be great!

* * *

><p>As it turned out, the week was not at all what Sam had hoped for. The first day was good. Sam could do almost anything she wanted with no scolding from anyone (her friends did most of the scolding). But as time went on, things started to get boring. While Sam did have a lot of fans, her abrasive personality and bullying reputation did not earn her a lot of friends. The only people she hung out with on a regular basis were Carly and Freddie.<p>

Sam was able to handle Carly being away from her. Carly visited her grandfather in Yakima from time to time and would be gone for a few days with each visit. Sam could tolerate this because she at least had the nub to keep her company. They would chill at the Shays' apartment and watch an occasional MMA fight on TV. They would do skits for iCarly such as Pathetic Plays and Disgusting Super Slow Motion. But now she didn't even have him.

School was more boring than usual. She tried to curb her boredom by pulling pranks on students and painting Mr. Howard's car purple. Even though she had fun doing these acts, it just wasn't enough.

On the fourth day of "No Friends" week, she thought she could pass the time at the Shays' apartment with some TV. She did have a TV at her house, but it only had a few channels. So she went to Apartment 8-C and let herself in using the hidden key and a butter knife for unlatching the lock chain. Carly would have had a fit if she broke the lock chain like last time. She sat on the couch and hit the "On" button on the remote.

Eventually, watching numerous episodes of Girly Cow and Celebrities Underwater was getting old. Sam turned off the TV and went home. She tried the Shays' TV again the next day. After flipping through the channel cycle for the tenth time, Sam groaned and hit the "Off" button. She was so desperate to get rid of her boredom, she called Gibby on her cell phone and asked him if he had any plans. Unfortunately, Gibby had a date with Tasha. Sam hung up the phone grumbling and wondering what could possibly be wrong with that girl.

Suddenly, Sam heard the apartment door close. Her eyes widen and she eagerly turned toward the door. "Carly? Freddie?" But there was no one there. She groaned and turned to face the TV again. Then she heard another sound…no…_several_ sounds. First, there was the sound of little objects being scattered. Then there was a light thumping sound with a slight scraping sound following each thump. And it was coming from behind the couch! Sam slowly turned around and peeked over the headrest. This time, Sam saw the source of the sounds.

Sitting behind the couch was a little girl. She appeared to be about seven years of age. She was wearing a purple jacket over a light pink buttoned shirt along with a blue skirt and hot pink leggings. She had shoulder-length blonde hair that was slightly curled. It almost reminded Sam of her own hair. The sounds the little girl was making were coming from the game of jacks she was playing.

Sam just stared at the little girl in confusion, not exactly knowing what to do. The little girl apparently sensed someone watching her as she caught the rubber ball before it hit the ground and looked up in Sam's direction.

"Um…hi there?" said Sam uneasily. The little girl did not reply. She just stared at Sam.

"So, uh…who are you and where did you come from?" asked Sam. The little girl said nothing. She scooped up her jacks and put them in her pockets.

"Okay, well I think I better call the lobby and see if we can find your parents." Sam turned around and picked up her cell phone. She began dialing the number to the front desk. She sighed as she was not looking forward to once again deal with that nasty doorman Lewbert. As she put the phone to her ear, Sam turned around to look behind the couch. The little girl was not there. Sam quickly hung up the phone and got off the couch. She looked around the living room and looked toward the kitchen. The girl was nowhere in sight. So she ran into Spencer's room and looked around there. She was looking in Spencer's locker when she heard a door shut. It was the refrigerator door! Sam rushed out of Spencer's room and into the living room. She stopped as soon as she reached the kitchen. The little girl was sitting on the kitchen island, sipping a can of Wahoo Punch through a straw.

Sam sighed in relief. "There you are. Man, you are sneakier than a ninja." She walked closer to the little girl. "So where's your Mommy and Daddy?"

The little girl still didn't speak. She just continued staring at Sam.

"Ooooookay then. Can you tell me your name?" asked Sam. No reply.

"Geez, can't you say anything at all?" The girl just sipped and stared.

Sam threw her hands up in frustration and turned away from the girl. "Uugghh! This is pointless! It's like talking to a potato!"

Sam closed her eyes and spoke to herself. "Calm down. She's just a little girl. You can do this."

Sam took a deep breath, opened her eyes, and turned toward the island. The little girl was gone.

"What th-… **now** where is she?" Sam looked behind the island. No girl. She looked under the kitchen table. No girl. Then she ran to the oven. She began reaching for the oven door when she stopped. "Wait, that's stupid. She wouldn't be in there." Sam dropped her hand back to her side. Suddenly, she heard a *ding* and the elevator door opening. She looked toward the elevator and saw the little girl walking into the elevator with her Wahoo Punch in hand. Sam made a break for the elevator, but tripped and fell to the floor. Before she could get up, the elevator door closed. Sam dashed out of the kitchen and ran up the stairs, hoping to catch the girl before she reached the studio. She pushed open the studio door and looked toward the elevator. The door was open and the elevator compartment was empty except for the can of Wahoo Punch sitting on the floor. Sam began searching the studio for the girl. She looked in the studio's back room, behind various filming equipment, and under piles of iCarly props, but still no little girl. Sam began looking in the car in the corner of the room. Suddenly, Sam heard the studio door close. She looked up and saw the little girl behind the studio door giggling at her through the glass before running downstairs.

"Come back here you little ninja midget!" growled Sam and sprinted toward the studio door. She ran downstairs and stopped at the foot of the steps to look around. The little girl was standing at the open apartment door. She smiled and waved at Sam. Then she walked out of the apartment and closed the door. Sam ran to the door and opened it. She looked in both directions of the hallway and saw nobody. Sam ran around the hallway looking everywhere, even behind the potted plants. But the little girl was nowhere to be found. Defeated, Sam walked back to the Shays' apartment and wondered what the heck just happened.

* * *

><p>The day Carly, Freddie, and Spencer would return to Seattle finally arrived. Sam was standing outside Bushwell Plaza waiting for them. It was a cold day, so Sam was wearing a hoodie and some jeans. She put the hood over her head to protect her ears from the cold air. While she waited, Sam was deep in thought. This week of torture gave her plenty of time to think. She learned from this experience to not take some things for granted. One of those things was her friendship with Freddie. She thought of the time she made fun of him before he left and pointed out to him how much fun it would be without him around. Although she would not admit it to him, she felt bad about doing that. He was one of her best friends and was actually good company to be with when Carly was away. Enduring this week without him made her realize how much she valued his friendship.<p>

Her thoughts were interrupted by the Shays' car pulling into the parking lot. Sam walked over to meet them. Carly stepped out of the car and ran to give Sam a hug. "Oh Sam, it's good to see you again. I missed you so much."

"Same here Carls," said Sam as she hugged Carly back. Freddie walked right behind Carly. The girls let go of each other and Freddie approached Sam.

"Hey Sam," said Freddie.

"Benson," nodded Sam. They gave each other a fist bump.

"How was your week?"

"Not bad. Didn't set the school on fire or anything. How was your week?"

"Pretty good actually. We took pictures of some geysers and wildlife and stuff. Overall, it was an awesome trip."

"Yeah, with the exception of a certain older brother," said Carly as she turned to look at Spencer unloading some suitcases from the car.

"Okay, okay! So I didn't tell you I was going beavecoon hunting on this trip. It's no big deal," protested Spencer.

"First of all, beavecoons don't exist! And secondly, what do you mean "no big deal"? You set traps all over the park! We could have gotten in big trouble!"

"Oh come on! Nobody got hurt."

"One of your traps snagged a swan! I'm pretty sure the park officials would not have liked that. You're lucky the swan wasn't killed and nobody caught you!"

The Shay siblings walked toward the lobby doors with their suitcases in tow, continuing their argument along the way. Sam and Freddie looked in their direction while shaking their heads and then looked at each other.

"So, can you please give us a hand with this stuff? We bought a bunch of souvenirs from the park," said Freddie.

"Yeah sure," said Sam. The pair walked to the car's trunk and began unloading its contents. In the middle of their task, Freddie turned to Sam.

"Hey Sam. After we're done taking this stuff back to the apartments, do you want to go to the Groovy Smoothie and-"

"Yes!" Sam said quickly as she looked up at him. Freddie looked at Sam in surprise. Sam tried to regain her composure.

"Uh, I mean yeah. I've been craving a smoothie for some time and I need someone to pay for it." She turned back to unloading the souvenirs.

Freddie stared at Sam for a few seconds and a warm smile grew on his face. "I missed you too Sam."

Freddie wasn't completely sure, but he could have sworn he saw a smile hiding underneath Sam's hood.

* * *

><p><strong>Author's note: And that concludes Chapter 2. I hope you liked it. This was one of the first chapter ideas that came to mind when I decided to write this story. Please review. Have a good day! Or night! Or afternoon! You know what I mean.<strong>


	3. It's a Quarter After One

**Hello everyone! It's good to be back. I'm still ecstatic about iOMG. The ending scene was wonderful! I can't get enough of it. Anyway, the lyric from Chapter 2 is from the song _Far Away_ by Nickelback. I know the title is in the lyric, but I felt that the lyric fit the chapter quite well. I did say I would try to stay away from the title as much as possible. Okay, let's get on with Chapter 3!**

**Disclaimer: Yes, I have to say it again. I do not own iCarly or any of the songs referenced in the chapter titles.**

Chapter 3

It's a Quarter After One…

Freddie was looking forward to tonight. When school ended on Monday, Freddie went to his favorite electronics store, Greatest Purchase. He needed to pick up some equipment for the next iCarly show. He was looking at some microphones when someone approached him, asking his opinion on what camera to purchase.

It was a girl who looked about his age. She had black hair and her skin tone was a shade darker than Carly's. She had trouble finding an available Greatest Purchase employee for advice, so she decided to ask Freddie since he was the person who was closest to the camera aisle. Freddie gladly gave her his advice on cameras. Their conversation escalated from there and he found out more about this girl.

Her name was Stephanie Harbinger. She was the same grade as Freddie and attended Jameson High School, which was on the other side of town. She enjoyed painting and knew nothing about computers. Stephanie thanked Freddie for his help and told him that she thought he was cute. She asked him if he would like to go out on Saturday and Freddie accepted. They agreed to go to the Cheesecake Warehouse for dinner and then the Quisp (Under 21) DANce Club.

Tonight was Saturday night and Freddie was getting excited. He was happy that a girl asked him out just to go out with him and not because he is the tech producer of iCarly. Based on her lack of technological knowledge and the fact that she had not mentioned iCarly once, it seemed that Stephanie had no idea of the web show's existence. Freddie intended to keep it that way for the time being because he did not want his fame to influence her feelings for him. Before leaving Bushwell for his date, he asked Carly and Sam to wish him luck. Each girl gave their input respectively.

"Good luck Freddie! It will be a wonderful date."

"Have fun Freddifer. I hope she pukes on you. Take a picture if she does."

Freddie smiled at Carly and glared at Sam before walking out the door.

* * *

><p>The date was going smoothly so far. Freddie and Stephanie had their dinner at the Cheesecake Warehouse and talked about all kinds of things from their favorite band to their least favorite teacher. Freddie was having a good time and Stephanie seemed to be as well. Then they drove to the dance club. The club was packed and everyone looked like they were having a blast. Freddie and Stephanie walked onto the dance floor and started moving with the music. They danced, took a break for something to drink, and then danced again. While they were dancing, Freddie noticed that Stephanie was looking in another direction on occasion.<p>

"Are you okay, Stephanie?" asked Freddie.

"Yeah, I'm fine." said Stephanie. "Why?"

"You were looking away from me a few times. It looked like you were looking for something."

"Oh no." shrugged Stephanie. "I was just looking to see if I knew anybody here. That's all."

"Okay." said Freddie uneasily. "I just don't want to be boring you or anything like that."

Stephanie smiled. "Oh, don't worry. You're not."

Freddie felt relieved and he continued to dance. Halfway through the song, Stephanie glanced in another direction again.

"Did you see someone you know?" asked Freddie.

Stephanie shook her head. "I thought I did, but I was wrong. It was just someone who looked similar."

"Wow, you must know a lot of look-alikes, huh?"

Stephanie laughed. "Yeah, I guess I do."

Then Stephanie started slowly walking toward Freddie with a seductive look in her eye. "You know Freddie, I'm glad I went out with a guy like you." Freddie raised an eyebrow and his muscles began to tense up.

"You're kind, understanding, and very smart." said Stephanie as she pressed herself against Freddie and snaked her hands up his arms and around his neck. "I love that in a man."

Then Stephanie leaned her head toward Freddie's and started kissing him. Freddie's eyes widen for a second and then slowly closed as he returned the kiss. It felt wonderful! She started off gently and then quickly began making out with him. Freddie was in total bliss and he felt that nothing could ruin this moment.

"WHAT THE HELL IS GOING ON HERE?"

Freddie's eyes shot wide open and he looked in the direction of the voice as did Stephanie. Standing there was a tall, slightly-built guy with a blonde surfer haircut and looking angrier than a bull. He approached the pair and looked straight at Stephanie.

"STEPHANIE, WHAT ARE YOU DOING WITH THIS LOSER?" he yelled, pointing at Freddie.

Freddie stood there, scared stiff and unsure of what to do. Stephanie, on the other hand, smirked at the angry boy.

"Why hello Brett. Nice to see you."

"Answer the question, Stephanie!" growled Brett. "What are you doing here with this guy who's about to be my punching bag?"

"Feeling jealous, are we?" asked Stephanie with a mischievous gaze.

"No duh! Any guy would be if he caught his girl making out with some random pretty-boy."

Stephanie's eyes narrowed and she walked toward Brett. "Well, now you know how it feels!" she said angrily.

Brett looked at her confused. "What are you talking about?"

"You've been hanging out with Lisa a lot lately!" said Stephanie poking his chest with her finger. "I saw you with her several times after school for the past three weeks. Also, you've been avoiding me lately and look guilty whenever I see you talking to her. What, do you have a new girlfriend now?"

"We're just friends, Steph." said Brett. "I was with her after school the last few weeks because she's my science partner. We're working on a project together. As for avoiding you and looking guilty, I did it because Lisa and I are working on a surprise party for your birthday. You almost walked in on our planning a few times." Brett took a step closer to his girlfriend. "I love you Steph and only you."

Stephanie's angry face slowly disappeared and she began to look at Brett with admiration. "Really?" she asked.

"Yes Steph and I always will."

"Oh Brett." said Stephanie happily and gave him a kiss which he willingly returned.

When they parted, Brett looked at Freddie, who still hadn't moved from the spot he was standing in when the incident began.

"So he is…?" Brett asked Stephanie as he pointed his head toward Freddie.

Stephanie waved her hand toward Freddie in a dismissive motion. "Oh, he's nobody. I just went on a date with him to make you jealous. That's why I had Jen text you to meet me here."

Freddie just stood there, taking in the situation. He was feeling a lot of emotions at once and none of them felt good. After a minute of just standing there and staring, he finally regained the ability to move his legs. He turned the opposite direction of the happy couple and walked out of the club without a word.

* * *

><p>When Freddie returned home, he just wanted to walk to his room. His mother was in the living room and asked him how the date went. He just said it went fine and politely excused himself, saying that he felt tired. He closed the bedroom door behind him and flopped onto his bed. The events of tonight plagued his mind over and over again, making him feel more angry and hurt than before. Freddie punched his pillow a few times and lay down to try to get some sleep. But the memories of his date made sleeping difficult. When he felt that sleep was not an option, Freddie sat up and looked at the clock. It read 1:15am. Sighing in frustration, he got off his bed and quietly walked to one of the few places that he felt safe: the fire escape. It served as a place for Freddie to just sit down and think. He opened the door to the fire escape and was surprised to find none other than Sam Puckett sitting in one of the chairs he set up. She turned toward him and smirked.<p>

"Hello Fredwart." she said.

"Uh…hi Sam," said Freddie in confusion. "What are you doing here?"

"I figured you'd come here to brood after yet another disastrous date. I'm here to catch the show."

Freddie sighed. "Sam, please don't."

"Why not? It's great entertainment. I may give it a five-star rating."

"Sam, I really don't want to hear this." said Freddie through gritted teeth.

"Awwwww, did wittle Fweddie fail to impwess another girl." teased Sam.

"Enough Sam!" yelled Freddie. "I'm not in the mood!"

Sam's smirk began to falter and she looked at Freddie with confusion in her eyes. "Dude, you okay? You usually take much more punishment than this."

Freddie sighed and sat down in the chair next to Sam. He told her about the events of the date. Sam just sat quietly and listened, nodding her head on occasion. When he finished his story, Sam said the first thing that came to her mind.

"She doesn't deserve you."

Freddie looked at her with amazement. "Excuse me?"

"She doesn't deserve you. This Stephanie chick is a total skunk bag for what she did to you. She's not worth your time."

"Wow Sam," said Freddie with a stunned voice. "That is really nice of you to say that."

Sam smiled. "Hey, someone's got to get you out of your moping phase."

"Yeah, well I wouldn't be in a moping phase if a date went right for once."

"I'm sure there is some girl out there who would be interested in someone like you, especially if he is a geeky tech producer with a Galaxy Wars fetish."

"Hey!" snapped Freddie.

"Just joking Benson," said Sam as she reached over and patted his leg.

Freddie sighed. "I just can't believe Stephanie used me like that."

"Ah, don't worry about it. It will come back to bite her one of these days. Just get over it and move on."

Freddie looked at Sam with a smile. "Thanks Sam."

She smiled back. "You're welcome Lord Doltemort."

* * *

><p>A week passed since the talk on the fire escape and Freddie was once again at Greatest Purchase. This time he was in the video game aisle, looking at the latest releases. Having fulfilled his curiosity of the newest games, Freddie walked out of the video game aisle. He made a right turn into the movie aisle when who should he see but Brett. Freddie stopped in his tracks and began to frown. Brett was looking at the back of a movie cover and didn't see Freddie who was fifteen feet to his left. Freddie just shook his head and turned his attention to the movies on the shelf.<p>

At that moment, Freddie sensed another person hastily enter the aisle from Brett's right side. Freddie looked up and saw that it was Stephanie. She was wearing sunglasses with wide lens that covered a good portion of her face, but there was no doubt that it was her. What really got Freddie's attention about Stephanie's appearance was the fact that her right arm was in a cast. Brett turned toward his girlfriend and noticed the cast as well.

"Oh my god Steph!" said Brett in horror. "What happened to you?"

Stephanie began to cry. "It was horrible!"

"Calm down Steph. Just tell me what happened."

Freddie slowly and quietly walked away from the couple and hid behind the end of the movie shelf to eavesdrop on the conversation. Thankfully, the couple was too focused on each other to notice him.

"I was walking home from school yesterday when some maniac grabbed me, slammed me against a dumpster and broke my arm, and punched me while I was on the ground and then ran off. Didn't say anything! Just punched me and ran off!" said Stephanie bewildered. "Look at my face!"

Stephanie took off her sunglasses and Freddie could see that she was sporting a black eye.

"Who did this to you?" demanded Brett.

Stephanie shrugged as best as one could with a broken arm. "I have no idea who she is. It was some short girl with curly blonde hair."

Freddie smiled, silently thanked a certain aggressive best friend, and casually walked toward the exit doors.

* * *

><p><em>Three Weeks Later…<em>

Freddie was peacefully sleeping in his bed when his cell phone started to ring. He groaned and blindly reached for the annoying device. He picked it up and looking to see Sam's face on the screen. He pushed a button and put the phone to his ear.

"Hello Sam," said Freddie drowsily.

"Hey Fredwad!" said Sam happily.

"Do you know what time it is, Sam?" asked Freddie as he looked at the clock. "It is 1:15 in the morning."

"I know!" said Sam. "I'm still at Wendy's party and it is rocking! You and Carly should have come."

"Carly and I have an exam coming up. We needed to study."

"Aw, you guys are no fun," whined Sam.

"Why are you calling me?" asked Freddie clearly annoyed.

"Wendy told me to call you. I don't know why."

Freddie noticed that Sam's words were a little slurred and her mood was a bit too euphoric.

"Sam, are you drunk?" asked Freddie suspiciously.

"No, I'm not drunk," said Sam with a hiccup.

"Sam, are you nuts? How could you go off and get drunk at a party? That's irresponsible!"

"I haven't been drinking. All I had was punch."

"Yeah right," sneered Freddie. "I'm coming to get you."

"Okay Freddie. Bye!" said Sam happily.

Freddie hung up the phone and sighed in frustration. He got off his bed, changed clothes, grabbed his keys, and headed out the door.

* * *

><p>Freddie was driving away from Wendy's house and heading back to Bushwell Plaza. He looked at the snoozing blonde in the passenger seat and wished she was awake so he could apologize. When he arrived at the party, Freddie learned what happened.<p>

Wendy threw a party at her house to celebrate her birthday. There was food and dancing at the party and most importantly it was an alcohol-free environment. That is, until Adam Broski showed up. Adam was a junior at their school and he snuck alcohol into the party. He managed to pour it into a couple batches of punch while it was still in the kitchen where no one in the party could see him. Then he kept an eye on whoever had some punch and planned to hit on the girl who drank the most. That girl happened to be Sam. Adam approached Sam, struck a conversation with her, and started putting his arms around her. Sam drunkenly protested and tried to push him away, but he held onto her and tried to kiss her. Then Sam gave Adam a hard shove and decked him in the nose. The force of Sam's fist caused Adam to fall to the floor in pain. As he hit the floor, his coat opened to reveal the bottle of vodka for all of the party to see. Wendy kicked Adam out of her house and spent the next 20 minutes making sure everyone in the party had a ride home. Knowing that Freddie had a car, Wendy told Sam to call him. Sam agreed even though she didn't understand why due to her drunken state.

Freddie felt guilty for accusing Sam of being irresponsible. She was doing the right thing and he didn't believe her. He would make it up to her somehow. Right now, the most important thing was giving her a place to spend the night and he thought the Shays' apartment was the best option.

He arrived at Bushwell and managed to bring Sam to the door of Apartment 8-C. He pulled this off by putting Sam's arm around his neck and guiding her throughout the building while holding her against him. She wasn't fully awake so she was dragging her feet most of the time and mumbling nonsensical words.

Freddie knocked on the Shays' door for about a minute and was greeted by a sleepy-eyed Carly. One look at Sam and Carly woke up quickly and asked what happened. After Freddie told her the story, the younger Shay sibling nodded and agreed that Sam could sleep on the couch. She bid the two good night and went back to her room.

Freddie gently laid Sam on the couch and took off her shoes. Then he picked up a blanket from the headrest of the couch and spread it over Sam's sleeping form. He knelt down beside the couch and looked at Sam. He placed his hand on her head and stroked her hair. Sam sighed peacefully and continued to sleep. Freddie smiled and removed his hand from her head.

"Good night Sam," he whispered. He stood up and quietly walked out of the apartment, closing the door behind him.

* * *

><p><strong>And so concludes another chapter of <strong>_**My Life is a Song**_**. I hope you enjoyed it. Please review.**

**The store **_**Greatest Purchase**_** is a parody of **_**Best Buy**_**. Since the show does a lot of name parodies, I thought why not? I hope you got a good laugh out of it.**


	4. Always When We Fight

**Hello everyone! Here I am again to give you another chapter of My Life is a Song. The lyric from Chapter 3 is from the song **_**Need You Now**_** by Lady Antebellum. Good job to those of you who guessed it. You know who you are. Without further ado, we shall begin the chapter.**

**Oh wait…one more thing.**

**Disclaimer: I do not own iCarly or any of the songs referenced.**

Chapter 4

Always When We Fight

The door to the Shays' apartment opened and in walked Sam. She never bothered to knock. She came to the apartment often, so knocking became unnecessary (And she was lazy). She looked around and did not see a single person in the living room or the kitchen. Thinking someone would be in the studio, Sam started walking upstairs. When she reached the studio door, she peeked through the glass.

Freddie was inside the studio standing at his equipment cart with his back towards the door. He was looking at his laptop, typing some things and clicking his mouse. He was so focused on his work that he did not notice Sam standing outside the door. Sam's mischievous nature came to the surface as an idea popped into her head. She slowly and quietly opened the door and tiptoed toward the unsuspecting nerd. When she was right behind Freddie, she leaned toward the back of his head and yelled "BOOGA BOOGA!"

Freddie jumped in the air and let out a high-pitched scream that would have put Nevel to shame. He turned around and looked at the laughing blonde.

"Sam that was NOT funny!" yelled Freddie.

Sam recovered from her laughter just enough to get some words out. "What do you mean 'not funny'? It was a riot!" She went back to laughing.

Freddie frowned and turned back to his work. "You could have made me knock down my laptop."

"First off, I don't care. Secondly, what are you working on?"

"I'm checking the comments on the iCarly website and making some updates."

"Fascinating," said Sam with a bored tone. "Where's Carly?"

"She and Spencer went grocery shopping. You just missed them."

"Okay, I'll just hang out here then," said Sam. She walked over to one of the beanbag chairs and sat down. Freddie continued working on his laptop. The room became peacefully quiet, but about a minute later Sam spoke up.

"Okay, I'm bored. Can I play games on your laptop?"

"I'm still working on the updates," said Freddie, his eyes never leaving the computer screen.

"Well, do them later. I'm bored."

"Just be patient. It'll only be about ten minutes."

"I can't wait that long. I want to play games now!" whined Sam.

"Just wait!" said Freddie irritably.

Sam stood up from the beanbag chair and walked over to Freddie. She grabbed his shoulder and roughly turned him around.

"Benson. Laptop. Now!" demanded Sam.

"No!" said Freddie.

With that, Sam placed two fingers on the base of Freddie's neck and gave him a pinch.

"Sam what are you pinching my neck fo-?"

Suddenly Freddie's muscles began to relax and he started feeling lightheaded. Before long, his vision went completely black.

* * *

><p>Freddie slowly opened his eyes. His vision was slightly blurred. He blinked a few times to clear it and surveyed his surroundings. He was lying on his front in the center of the studio. He looked straight ahead and saw that his equipment cart was moved toward the wall right beside the door. Freddie was about to get up when he noticed that his butt felt heavy, as if something was holding it down. He looked behind him and saw Sam sitting on his butt, eating a banana.<p>

"About time you got up," said Sam.

"Sam, you didn't have to knock me out," said Freddie.

"You didn't let me use your laptop when I asked. You should have known better."

Freddie groaned. "How long have I been out?"

"About an hour," said Sam as she finished her banana and tossed the peel into a nearby trash can. "I passed the time by playing games on your laptop and photoshopping your head on the body of a ballerina. Then I got hungry, got a banana, and here we are."

"Great, now how about getting off?"

"Actually, I'm a kind of tired. I think I'm gonna lie down for a bit."

Sam turned in the direction opposite of where Freddie was facing and lay down on him as if he was a lounge chair. She figured she could annoy the boy a little bit more. However, Freddie did not feel annoyed at all. What Sam was doing actually made him feel…kind of weird. Freddie did not know what made him more uncomfortable, the weight on his back or the fact that a teenage girl was lying down on top of him. Then Sam arranged herself so that her body was perfectly aligned with Freddie's and her head settled on the back of his neck. Yup, definitely the teenage girl theory.

What made the feeling worse was that this was no ordinary girl on top of him. This was Sam Puckett. His worst enemy. His best friend. His first kiss. Having a girl who shared this history with him lying down on top of him made Freddie blush and he thanked Heaven that Sam could not see his face from her position. Her looks did not make his situation any better. Sam was a pretty girl. He always thought so, although he would not admit this to her. In fact, she was even kind of hot. Freddie mentally slapped himself for that thought. Damn teenage hormones!

With her head settled where it was, her hair was hanging down and gently caressing the side of his face. The smell of apples and cinnamon flowed from her golden locks. It was a lovely scent and he couldn't help but take it in. It gave him a sense of serenity. Freddie actually started to feel good despite the uncomfortable situation he was in. He had a familiar good-looking girl laying on him and she wasn't causing any physical harm to him. Sure she was putting some extra weight on his back, but at least he wasn't getting bruises from her usual treatment of him. Maybe this situation wasn't so bad after all.

"You know Fredrick," said Sam interrupting his thoughts. "You're actually pretty comfy. Almost like the couch." She kicked off her shoes and rested her socked feet against his legs, her right foot subconsciously rubbing against his bare calf.

That's it! He had to get her off! This was getting too intimate!

Freddie quickly rolled to his side and Sam slid off his back and onto the floor. Freddie hoisted himself to his knees and looked at her with dread. Sam propped herself up with her hands and looked up at Freddie with a murderous glare.

"You're gonna pay for that, Benson!" With that, she jumped onto Freddie and wrestled him back to the floor. Sam got onto Freddie's back while he tried to crawl away. Then she picked up one of her shoes. Freddie turned to look at Sam. His eyes shifted back and forth between Sam's evil smile and the shoe in her hand before realization hit him.

"NO SAM, DON'T!" he screamed before she leaned toward him and shoved the shoe in his face. Freddie tried to refrain from gagging. The smell was worse than the boys' locker room during football season. Desperate to escape the pungent odor, Freddie grabbed the shoe and tried to yank it out of her hand. For the next 30 seconds, the blonde-headed demon and the brunette-headed dork struggled to gain possession of the smelly weapon. They ended up in a tug-of-war with each person pulling on opposite ends of the shoe.

"Let go of my shoe!"

"You first!"

So Sam decided to give a really hard tug in hopes that it would cause Freddie to release the shoe. Unfortunately, the nub had the same idea. Sam and Freddie yanked hard at the exact same time. The shoe slipped out of Freddie's fingers. The momentum gained from the tug sent both teens tumbling in opposite directions. Freddie flipped onto his front. Sam landed on her back with the shoe still in her hand. It took a few seconds for the two adolescents to recover and get to their feet. Sam dusted herself off while Freddie rubbed his aching head. Then they looked at each other. The two stared each other down, waiting for the other to make a move. Then Freddie took the initiative. He turned around and ran. Sam bolted after him, intent on beating him with her shoe.

Freddie ran to a pile of props that were set up for the next iCarly show. He picked up a fully-loaded water gun and aimed it at his pursuer. Sam stopped in her tracks. Having helped set up the props, she knew that the water gun contained green Kool-Aid instead of water. She sprinted in the opposite direction. Freddie opened fire. The green Kool-Aid missed Sam by an inch. Sam picked up her other shoe as she ran. Her destination: the set of iCarly props on the other side of the room. She ran behind a table that was set up next to the props and pushed it onto its side. Then she ducked behind it. Freddie continued to squirt Kool-Aid at her, but the table served as an effective barrier. Sam quickly put her shoes back on during his assault.

Then Freddie stopped firing. Sam peeked over the table and saw that Freddie was pumping the gun to refill it. She took this opportunity to run to her props. She picked up a carton of eggs and a slingshot. She took out an egg, placed it in the sling, and took aim. Freddie finally finished pumping the gun and looked up at Sam. That's when Sam released the egg. The protein-loaded projectile shot forward and splattered all over Freddie's forehead. Sam dove behind the table while Freddie wiped his face. Freddie aimed the gun and fired, but the table prevented his shots from hitting Sam. The blonde just sat behind the table and waited for the nub to foolishly waste his shots. Sure enough, the gun stopped firing.

"Ugh! Not again!" Freddie growled in frustration. The blonde smirked. Now she could strike while he was reloading. "_What an idiot_," she thought to herself. Sam picked up another egg and stood up from behind the table to take aim. But Freddie was not refilling the gun like she expected. Instead he was pointing the gun straight at her with a mischievous smirk on his face.

"Made you look!" he said as he pulled the trigger. The green liquid hit Sam dead on. Sam dropped her egg and slingshot and held up her hands to block the spray. But this proved useless and she was soaked in a matter of seconds. Sam bent down, picked up the egg carton, and began chucking the remaining eggs at Freddie. He ran behind the car in the corner to avoid the eggs while he continued shooting at her. Only two of the ten eggs managed to hit him.

When Sam's eggs ran out, so did Freddie's Kool-Aid. Both combatants ran to get their next weapon. Sam grabbed a large bowl of tomato sauce and a ladle and Freddie picked up a box of balloons filled with honey. Sam scooped up ladlefuls of sauce and flung the sauce at Freddie. Freddie fought back by tossing balloon after balloon at Sam. Before long, the studio floor was covered in a wet and sticky mess. Sam was getting pelted by honey balloons while Freddie had tomato sauce all over him. Soon both teens ran out of sauce and balloons.

Enough was enough. Neither was going to give up, so it was time to finish this. Sam grabbed two cans of whipped cream and charged at Freddie. He took hold of a bag of shredded newspaper and ran at Sam. Just before they reached each other, Freddie took a fistful of newspaper and flung it at Sam. The bits of paper hit Sam's face and stuck to it. Unfazed by the attack, Sam charged and jumped onto Freddie, causing the both of them to fall and land on the floor. The bag of shredded newspaper spilled onto the floor. Sam then proceeded to spray whipped cream all over Freddie's face. He grabbed a hold of her hands and tried to push them away, but Sam had the upper hand in their position and got a good amount of whipped cream on him. Desperate to get out of this sticky situation, Freddie turned to his last resort. He reached in his pocket and took out a can of silly string that he obtained from the prop pile. He pointed the can and pressed down on the nozzle. Sam was caught off guard by this attack and brought her hands up to block the colorful string. Freddie took advantage of her surprise and rolled Sam onto her back. He got on top of her and fired silly string at her.

Sam dropped the whipped cream cans, picked up a wad of newspaper, and hurled it at Freddie's head. Freddie shut his eyes as the newspaper smacked his face. It stuck to his face due to the paper being covered in a mess of honey, tomato sauce, and whipped cream. Sam grabbed wad after wad of newspaper and haphazardly flung it at the brunette. Freddie discarded the silly string can and took hold of Sam's wrists to prevent her from grabbing more newspaper. They wrestled for a bit, but in the end he pinned her hands to the floor and held them there.

The two stared intently at each other, breathing heavily from their struggle. They didn't do anything but stare and breathe for the next few seconds. Then it happened. Sam began to laugh. It wasn't an evil laugh. It was a laugh of pure joy. Freddie looked at Sam in confusion. But then the puzzled look on his face quickly formed a smile and he began to laugh as well. Freddie released Sam's wrists and rolled off of her to lay right beside her. They continued to laugh as they lay on the floor. It was just too funny! They started off with arguing over Freddie's laptop and ended up lying in the aftermath of a messy battle. It was so bizarre, it was hilarious. Their laughter finally calmed down and they turned to look at each other.

"You are an absolute mess," said Sam.

Freddie laughed. "So are you. That was so much fun."

Sam smiled. "I know! It totally made up for Mr. Howard's exam this morning."

Both teens sat up and took a gander at their surroundings. The studio floor and steps were covered in a concoction of honey, tomato sauce, whipped cream, newspaper, silly string, eggs, and green Kool-Aid. Honey was splattered all over Sam's table barrier and runny egg yolk was on the hood of the car.

Freddie sighed. "Well, we'd better get this place cleaned up before-"

"OH MY GOD!"

Freddie and Sam jumped and looked in the direction of the voice. Carly Shay stood in the studio doorway with her eyes bugging out of her head and her mouth agape. Spencer Shay stood behind her with the same expression on his face. Sam and Freddie looked anxiously at the siblings, then each other, and then back at the siblings. Freddie decided to break the silence.

"Uh, I'm guessing you have some questions for us."

"Yeah, we do!" said Spencer in an outrage. "Why didn't you invite us to whatever you were doing? That looks like fun!"

Carly shot Spencer an angry look. Spencer shuddered under the glare of his sister and muttered an apology to her. Sam and Freddie received a ten minute ear-splitting lecture from Carly about messing up the studio and that they would have to cancel tonight's iCarly show due to the mess and lack of props. When she and Spencer left, the duo spent the next few hours cleaning up the studio. It was early evening when they finally finished.

Sam put away the cleaning supplies and returned to the studio as Freddie tossed the last sponge into the trash can.

"Are we done with everything?" she asked.

"Yup. The place is spotless and everything's been put away."

Sam sighed in relief. "Good. I'm beat."

"Yeah, me too." Freddie rubbed his sore neck.

Sam looked around the room and then settled her eyes on Freddie. "So, now what?"

Freddie looked down at his messy form. "Well I don't know about you, but I feel a desperate need to take a shower."

Sam smiled. "Same here. I think I'll take a shower here. There is no way I'm walking all the way home like this."

Freddie laughed. "Yeah, I'd better go home and see if I can make it to my bathroom before my mom sees me."

Sam laughed as she thought of the fit Mrs. Benson would pitch. "Good luck. That woman can smell a mess ten miles away."

Freddie chuckled at her comment. He walked to the studio door with hopes that he could make it past his mother unscathed. Just as he opened the door, he heard Sam's voice. "Hey."

Freddie stopped and turned to look at her. "Thanks for this," Sam gestured her hand over the mess on her clothes.

Freddie smiled and nodded. "Same to you." Then he walked out of the studio and headed downstairs.

* * *

><p><strong>AN: Well, there you have it. The end of Chapter 4. So far, this has been my most complicated chapter to make. I still can't believe I was able to finish it before the time I planned on submitting it. I hope you enjoyed it. Happy belated Easter!<strong>


	5. Monster That Lives in Her Dreams

**Hello everyone! I am back with another chapter for you. Woohoo! The lyric from Chapter 4 is from the song **_**You and Me Song **_**by The Wannadies. I'm not sure how popular it is, but it's one of my favorite songs. Okay, let's begin Chapter 5.**

**Disclaimer: I do not own iCarly or any of the songs referenced.**

Chapter 5

Monster That Lives in Her Dreams

Sam Puckett was sitting on her bed, looking at video clips on her laptop. She was watching the world's fattest priest try to squeeze himself through a doorway. She laughed as four people tried to get him unstuck from the doorway. When she had her fill of watching Splashface clips, she shut down her laptop and closed the lid. No sooner did she do that then her stomach began to rumble.

"_Time to fill my belly_," Sam thought to herself and hopped off her bed. She walked out of her bedroom and headed down the stairs. Halfway down the stairway, an aroma filled Sam's nostrils. Puzzled, Sam stopped and sniffed the air some more, trying to identify the scent.

"_What is that smell? Chicken broth?_" Sam knew it couldn't be her mom cooking in the kitchen. Pam's cooking usually didn't smell this good. In fact, her cooking **never** smells this good. Sam continued walking down the stairs and followed the smell to the kitchen. She saw that the kitchen was an absolute mess. There were pots and plates piled up in the sink. A cutting board was on the counter with the knife lying beside it. The board was covered in orange shavings that appeared to be carrot skin. The stove was on with the dial set to "Lo." The delicious smell was coming from a large pot sitting on the active burner. Someone had recently cooked something here.

Before Sam could walk to the pot to inspect its contents, the sound of clanging utensils filled her ears. It was coming from the dining room. She walked into the dining room and looked at the table in the center of the room. Sam froze in her tracks at the sight before her.

It was him! A terrible being that Sam was all too familiar with. He was sitting in one of the chairs with a bowl on the table mat in front of him and a spoon in his hand. He had the head of a goblin with curved horns and the body of a creature who came from a swamp. It was the monster that Sam saw from her nightmares. And he was eating her chicken soup!

"HEY! STOP EATING MY SOUP!" yelled Sam. The monster replied by roaring at her, causing Sam to take a couple steps back. As scary as he was, Sam was determined to not let this creature devour all of her soup. She started to run toward the monster, but she couldn't get her feet off the floor. She looked down at them and saw that they were sinking into the floor like quicksand. She tried to pull them out, but it was no use. She looked up at the monster and he continued to eat the soup with glee.

Sam struggled to reach the monster, but she continued to sink into the floor. By the time the floor reached her waist, Sam began scratching at the floor to try to get out. Her efforts were futile. Eventually, the sinking floor reached her shoulders. Sam dug her nails into the non-sinking part of the floor to hold on. But her nails slowly dragged across the floor and toward the sinking void.

"NO!" yelled Sam in a panic. The monster waved his hand tauntingly at her and began to laugh. His cackling face was the last thing Sam saw before her head sank into the floor.

* * *

><p>Sam sat upright in a cold sweat and started gasping for breath. She quickly felt around her body and found that she was surrounded by a blanket instead of a sinking floor. She looked around her and saw the familiar walls of her bedroom. She realized that she had been dreaming. Her gasping slowed to a steady breath and finally became a relieved sigh. She grabbed a hold of her pillow and hugged it for about a minute. But it wasn't enough to make her feel better. She needed someone to talk to.<p>

Sam wanted to talk to someone in person and not by telephone. She did not want to talk to her mom. While Pam has been working on being a better parent, Sam did not want to discuss this particular thing with her. She needed a friend. So Sam got off her bed and put on a jacket.

She left her house and walked toward the bus stop. Thankfully, it was only a block away from her house. She took the late-night bus to Bushwell Plaza. About fifteen minutes later, the bus arrived at her destination. She walked into the lobby and hopped onto the main elevator. While she waited for the elevator to reach the eighth floor, she texted her mother to inform her where she was. Finally the elevator doors opened and Sam walked to Apartment 8-C. Using the hidden key and her handy-dandy butter knife, she unlocked the door and stepped inside. The living room was really dark, but Sam did not need to see the couch to know where it was. Despite having ridden a bus, the journey made Sam tired. She decided to rest on the couch for a few minutes before heading upstairs to talk to Carly. She walked to the front of the couch and sat down.

"Ow!" said the couch.

Sam jumped up from the couch and ran to the door. She switched on the lights and grabbed an umbrella from its box beside the door. Then she raised the umbrella above her head, ready to strike the talking couch. A hand gripped the headrest and a sleepy-eyed Freddie Benson popped up from the couch.

His eyes widen in surprise when he saw the girl. "What the? Sam? What are you doing here?"

Sam lowered the umbrella and put it back in its box. "What am I doing here? What are **you** doing here?"

Freddie looked at Sam with annoyance. "Sleeping and then getting woken up by you!"

Sam rolled her eyes. "I know **that**, dip for brains! I mean, why are you here in Carly's apartment? Shouldn't you be in your own apartment?" she said pointing her thumb in the direction of Apartment 8-D.

Freddie's annoyed expression disappeared. "Oh. I have a science project that I've been working on for a couple weeks and I've been keeping it in our living room. Well, it exploded this morning and filled our whole apartment with gas. It's not toxic, but the smell is unbearable. So my mom and I are staying with Carly and Spencer for a few days until the gas clears."

Sam nodded in understanding. Her eyes scanned the room for the other member of the Benson family. "So where is Mrs. Nutcase?"

Freddie's eye twitched at her comment about his mother, but he chose to let it slide. "She is working the late shift tonight."

"I see," said Sam. Neither teenager spoke for the next few seconds, making the situation a bit awkward.

"Well, I'm going to get going now. See ya." Sam turned toward the door and put her hand on the door handle.

"Not so fast Puckett," said Freddie. Sam's hand froze halfway through turning the door handle and she looked back at him. "You didn't answer my question. What are you doing here?"

Sam searched her thoughts to come up with a convincing explanation. "I was hungry. There was no food at home, so I came here for something to eat."

"You're lying, Sam! I know you recently restocked your emergency snack stash at your house and Carly sent you and your mother a whole ham today. Why are you really here?"

"Really! I'm just here for some food!" protested Sam.

Freddie looked in Sam's eyes and could see the anger in them. But he could also see something else behind the anger. It was fear. He could see the fear in her eyes and it made him concerned for her well-being. So he tried a softer approach. "Look Sam. You're here for a reason and food is not it. What's wrong? You can tell me."

Knowing that her bluff had been called, Sam sighed as she let go of the door handle. She walked back to the couch and sat down next to Freddie.

"I had another dream about him."

"The soup-eating monster? I thought Spencer cured you of those nightmares."

"Spencer did help with the dreams. I don't get them as often as before, but I still get them."

Sam told Freddie about her latest dream. The details she gave him made Freddie cringe on the inside and feel sad that Sam had to endure such a terrible incident.

"It was the worst dream I had of the monster. Not only would I not get my soup from him, but I would die trying. It just scared me really badly. So that's why I'm here. I was going to talk to Carly about it." Sam grabbed one of the couch pillows and held it against her chest, hugging it as she stared into space.

Freddie looked at Sam. Rarely did he see Sam in her vulnerable state. Whenever he did, he felt closer to her and he felt grateful that she trusted him enough to let him see her this way. Freddie scooted toward her and pulled her into a hug. Sam did not repel him. She just continued to stare and she rested her head against his neck. They stayed that way for a few moments, not speaking a word. Then Freddie slowly released her and patting her right shoulder a couple of times.

"It will be okay Sam. It was just a dream."

"Yeah, but it still sucks. I wish it would stop completely. But you wouldn't understand. You never had to deal with something like this."

Freddie looked at the ceiling thoughtfully. "Actually, I have."

Sam looked at him with interest. "Really?"

"Yeah. When I was six, I used to have dreams about a monster. My monster was this big stuffed panda bear."

Sam put her hand to her mouth to restrain the laughter that was trying to escape her throat.

Freddie's eyes narrowed. "Hey! That panda bear was scary! He had big claws, sharp teeth, and kept saying 'I'm going to eat you, little boy!'" Freddie used his best panda bear monster voice, which wasn't very good.

Sam quickly put the pillow against her face and laughed into it. Through her muffled laughter, Freddie could make out the words "A stuffed panda bear? Oh, that is hilarious!"

"Shut up," said Freddie with feigned annoyance. He wasn't really mad at her. He was just glad that she was laughing. Sam removed her head from the pillow and wiped the tears from her eyes. "Dude, that is pretty pathetic."

Freddie put his right foot up on the coffee table. "Yeah, well it was scary for me at the time. I stopped having the dreams after I learned that panda bears only eat bamboo."

Sam stared at him incredulously. "Oh really? You sure it didn't have anything to do with your mom getting you a night light?"

Freddie's cheeks turned a shade of red. "Well, maybe that helped too."

Sam chuckled. "You're such a dork."

Freddie rolled his eyes. "Yeah, whatever." He looked at Sam's face and could see no trace of fear on its features. "Feeling better?"

Sam looked at him with a smile. "Yeah, I do. Thanks Freddie."

Freddie smiled back. "No problem Sam."

Sam looked at the remote control on the coffee table and picked it up. "So, want to watch some TV?"

Freddie shrugged. "Sure, why not?"

* * *

><p>Carly woke up with her throat feeling dry as a desert. She wanted a glass of water more than anything in the world at that moment. She rubbed the sleep out of her eyes and got off her bed. She walked down the stairs to the living room. She noticed that the TV was on.<p>

Carly's eyebrows raised in confusion. Freddie was up at this hour? She whispered his name, but got no response. So she walked around the couch and turned to face it. Carly couldn't help but smile.

Freddie was lying on the couch fast asleep. His head was resting on the couch pillow that lay on the right armrest. Sam was asleep on the couch as well. She was lying beside Freddie with her head nestled against his neck and her arm across his chest. Freddie's left arm was wrapped around Sam's back. A blanket covered the legs of the sleeping teens.

Carly was a little curious of why Sam was here and why the two were in this position, but she really didn't care at the moment. She thought that this was the cutest thing she had ever seen. It was nice to see her two best friends get along with each other. As much as she didn't want to disturb them, she knew she had to wake up Sam before Marissa Benson came back from work and freaked out at the sight of her son sleeping with a girl. Carly walked over to the snoozing blonde and gently shook her awake. At first Sam complained, but eventually she stood up from the couch and followed Carly to her room.

Sam still continued to have dreams about the monster after that night, but this time they ended differently. In her dreams, the monster was getting the crap kicked out of him by a big stuffed panda bear while Sam watched with a bowl of soup in her hands.

* * *

><p><strong>AN: Well, that ends Chapter 5. I hope you enjoyed it. Please review. <strong>


	6. Don't be Fancy, Just Get Dancey

**AN: Hi everyone! I'm sorry that it took me longer than usual to post this chapter. Just to let you know, the updates for this story may not come as quickly as they did before. My schedule has recently gotten busy and I haven't had much time to write the chapters for this story. Don't worry, the chapters will come.**

**Just so you don't get thrown off by the chapter, remember that this story is not exactly in chronological order. So if any of the chapters seem out of order to you, that is the reason why. Oh and before I forget, the lyric from Chapter 5 is from the song ****_Harder to Breathe_**** by Maroon 5.**

**Disclaimer: I do not own iCarly or any of the songs referenced. I'm kind of glad I don't because I don't think I could come up with the wonderful craziness on iCarly or create a good song.**

Chapter 6

Don't be Fancy, Just Get Dancey

On a beautiful Sunday afternoon, Freddie was in the studio dusting his laptop and some of the audio and visual equipment. This was a routine he did three times a week. One of the benefits of having a mother as neurotic as his was that he became a neat freak. It was a familial trait that he did not mind in the least.

As he was cleaning, he was deep in thought. He still could not believe how much his life changed recently. About three weeks ago, he became the technical producer of iCarly. It was a web show with comedy that made no sense at all, yet it became an instant hit after its first webisode. He never thought in his wildest dreams that he would be a part of something so grand. It would definitely boost up his popularity at school.

What he really liked about the web show was that he could work closely with Carly. He smiled to himself as he thought about the girl of his dreams. She was beautiful, kind, friendly, and a top-notch student. She was everything he wanted in a girlfriend and he had every intention of winning her over. Sure, she has rejected him in the past, but that doesn't mean he should give up trying. Now that they were working together on this web show, he had more contact with her. Perhaps she will see him in a new light as the tech producer. His skills would make her a star and she would be grateful and fall head over heels for him. Yes sir, iCarly is the best thing that ever happened to him.

And then there was _her_. The other co-host of iCarly. The blonde-headed bane of his existence since sixth grade. Samantha Puckett. Freddie grimaced as he thought about her. The only drawback to iCarly would be working with Sam. He and the notorious troublemaker did not have the best relationship. They argued a lot, she would beat him up and call him names, and she would pull numerous pranks on him. She was a destructive force of nature that was out to get him. He was surprised that he put up with her for this long. Any normal person would have thrown in the towel.

As if fate had it in for him, the studio door opened and the subject of his thoughts walked in. She was munching on a drumstick that she probably got from the fridge downstairs.

"What's up, moron?" said Sam.

Freddie looked at her with disdain. "Nothing. I'm just cleaning the iCarly equipment."

"Dude, didn't you do this two days ago?" asked Sam.

"Yes, but it helps to be thorough. Dust is very pathogenic."

Sam rolled her eyes. "You're such a nerd."

Freddie looked up from his work and glared at her. "Hey! There's nothing wrong with being neat! Although, I don't expect you to understand."

Sam narrowed her eyes. "What's that supposed to mean?"

"It means that you are the queen of messiness. I've been to your house once and I felt like I needed a hazmat suit just to walk into your room."

Sam responded by throwing her finished drumstick at Freddie's head. She smiled in satisfaction as the boy yelped in pain.

"That hurt!" complained Freddie.

"That was the intention."

Freddie grumbled as he used his cleaning cloth to pick up the drumstick and toss it into the trash can. Hoping to avoid an argument with the blonde, he quickly changed the subject. "You're here early. Usually you arrive for rehearsal twenty minutes late."

Sam shrugged. "Carly promised me ham if I showed up on time. I would also get fried chicken if I was early."

Freddie nodded. One could always count on Sam when she was bribed with food. "So where's Carly?"

"She went downstairs to mail something. She'll be back soon."

Freddie looked at the clock. They had fifteen minutes before their rehearsal. He had finished cleaning the equipment, so he decided to spend the remaining time working on his essay for English class. He set his cleaning cloth on his equipment cart, took out his notebook and pencil from his backpack, and sat down on one of the beanbag chairs.

"Okay Sam. I'm going to be working on some homework until rehearsal, so please keep it down."

Of course Sam had no intension of listening to him. Freddie was finishing his second sentence when she turned on the radio. His concentration was broken by the sound of classical music. He looked up from his notebook. "Hey! I said keep it down!"

Sam ignored his comment and frowned at the radio. "Dude, I hate this music! Can't you listen to anything cool?"

"Sam, I'm trying to focus on my homework. That music is very distraction."

Sam just smirked at him and turned up the volume. Freddie gave her a look of annoyed disbelief. "Really, Sam?"

Sam put her hand to her ear in a mocking display. "I'm sorry, what? I can't hear you." Then she started to change the radio channels. Freddie threw his arms up in exasperation. "You are unbelievable!" Sam ignored him and continued fiddling with the channel buttons. Freddie tried his best to tune out the sounds and continued writing his essay.

Eight channels later, the radio started to play a popular dance song. Sam's eyes lit up. "Now that's more like it!" She ran to the center of the studio where she had more room to move and began to dance.

Freddie finally couldn't take it anymore and angrily looked up from his essay. However, his anger was quickly replaced with bewilderment when he caught sight of Sam. The way she was dancing was kind of weird. Her arms were flailing around and she was moving her feet in an uncoordinated manner. Then she pumped her fists in the air a couple of times and jumped into the air, kicking her legs out in a splits motion as she did so. She was in rhythm with the music, but her dancing was unlike anything Freddie had ever seen.

"What the Helen are you doing?" asked Freddie.

Sam did not stop dancing as she spoke. "I'm dancing. And 'what the Helen' sounds lame. Just say hell."

"No, and what kind of dancing is that?"

Sam raised her hands in the air while swaying her hips side-to-side. "I don't know. I just go with the flow."

"But those dance moves are weird. People will think you're weird."

Sam snorted. "I don't care what people think. It's fun and I'm doing it."

Freddie crossed his arms. "Well, I still think it's weird."

Sam stopped dancing and stared at him. "Hey! Don't knock it 'til you try it. Get up here."

Freddie's eyebrows furrowed. "What?"

"Get up here and dance!"

Freddie shook his head. "No way! I already have a nerd reputation. I don't need any more reasons for people to ridicule me."

Sam walked over to the beanbag chair, grabbed Freddie's arms, and pulled him to his feet. "Now dance!"

Sam went back to dancing, but Freddie just stood there. He felt really silly and the idea of dancing like a fool just sounded embarrassing. Sam noticed his lack of movement and decided to motivate him. "Start dancing or I will kick you in the groin."

That got Freddie moving into a dancing frenzy. He danced in a rushed fashion out of fear of Sam's wrath. As a result, his movements became rigid. Sam stopped dancing and walked over to him. She placed her hands on his shoulders to settle him down. Freddie stopped moving and looked at her in terror. Sam looked him straight in the eye and spoke in a calm voice.

"Dance like you're having fun. Don't worry about how you look or what I'm going to do to you. Just dance." She patted his shoulders a couple of times before letting go. She returned to her dancing. Freddie took a deep breath and just danced. Eventually, Freddie loosened up and danced however he felt like. He did moves such as open hand thrusts and curving his upper torso from one side to the other. He even kicked the air a few times.

During his dance, he sneaked a glance at Sam. The blonde was shaking her head to the music like crazy. Freddie recalled his previous thoughts about Sam. The way she treated him at this moment contradicted those thoughts. Even though she threatened to kick him in order to get him to dance, she talked to him in a civilized and respectful manner afterwards. Plus, she wanted him to dance. She wanted him to have fun. As if he was her friend. Maybe Sam wasn't so bad after all.

The song came to its conclusion and the two dancing fools stopped moving to catch their breath. Sam looked at Freddie. "So, what did you think?"

Freddie finally caught his breath and looked at her. "That was…pretty awesome." His face formed a big smile. "I actually had fun."

Sam grinned. "See, I told you. Nothing like dancing anyway you like."

"Tell me about it. I wouldn't mind doing that again." Freddie took a look at the clock and saw that they had seven minutes until rehearsal. "Well, Carly will be here soon. We'd better start getting ready."

Freddie looked back at Sam and saw that she was staring straight ahead with a thoughtful look on her face. "What's up?"

Sam looked back at him. "I just had a great idea."

Freddie's ears perked up. "Let's hear it."

"We should do this for iCarly."

Freddie raised an eyebrow. "What we just did?"

Sam nodded. "Yeah! It's fun and crazy and I think our fans would love it."

Freddie's face showed genuine interest at the idea. "You know, I think you're right. It would definitely be something to add to the show. What would we call it?"

Sam thought for a minute and then smiled. "We shall call it…"

* * *

><p>"RANDOM DANCING!"<p>

At the sound of the booming electronic voice's famous words, music began to play and the web show's female co-hosts started to dance like crazy. They were joined by Gibby, who was dressed in plastic knight's armor. Freddie bopped his head to the music while trying to keep the camera focused on the girls and Gibby. A year had passed since the iCarly team started Random Dancing and it is just as popular among their fans now as it was at its premiere.

The music concluded and the trio stopped dancing. Carly was the first to address the camera. "Okay, that's it for tonight's iCarly! Remember to run your cabbage through the dishwasher before eating it!"

"And to wash your hair with barbeque sauce before bedtime!" added Sam.

"Good night everyone!" said both girls as they waved to the camera.

"Annnnnddddd we're clear," said Freddie after pressing the record button.

"Alright! Good show everybody," said Carly happily. Everybody cheered and gave each other high-fives.

"I'm going to go take this armor off. I'm getting kind of hot," said Gibby. He walked into the studio's back room to change.

Carly spoke when he was out of earshot. "Poor Gibby. It looked like he was having trouble dancing in that armor. It was pretty funny though."

Sam and Freddie smiled and nodded in agreement. Then they heard a gurgling sound. Everyone looked at Sam. "Hungry?" asked Carly.

"You know it, Carls," said Sam as she rubbed her belly.

"Me too. Let's go downstairs for a snack." Carly turned to Freddie. "You coming too, Freddie?"

"You two go along. I'll be down there in a minute. I'm going to turn off all the equipment first."

The girls nodded. "Okay. Please tell Gibby to come down for a snack," said Carly.

"Will do."

The girls walked out of the studio and headed downstairs. Freddie walked over to his laptop. He thought he would take a quick look at the user comments for tonight's show before shutting down the computer. So he clicked on the webisode link. He smiled as he scrolled down the list of comments. It was nice to receive so many positive comments in such a short time. He skimmed through the usual comments of "Great show" and "You guys rock" and skipped over the ones that mentioned who in the iCarly cast was hot. Then one particular comment caught his eye.

**_iCarlyrocks73625:_**

**_Awesome show tonight! It was hilarious seeing Gibby acting like a knight. There is something I have always wondered. How did you guys come up with Random Dancing?_**

Freddie smiled at the comment and remembered that day when Sam made him dance and how she treated him. He figured he could write a quick reply before joining his friends. He started typing.

_Dear iCarlyrocks73625,_

_I'm glad you liked tonight's webisode. As for your question, well it all started one day when Sam threw a chicken bone at me..._

* * *

><p><strong>AN: And that ends Chapter 6. I was a little skeptical about putting up this chapter because I didn't think it was my best work. But I wanted to create an "origins" chapter for this story and I like the lyric I picked for this chapter, so I submitted it anyway. I hope you enjoyed it. I'll try to put up the next chapter as soon as possible. Have a good day!<strong>


	7. And All I Can Breathe is Your Life

**Hi everyone! It's been awhile, but I finally managed to get Chapter 7 of this story up. I apologize for the late update (hey, that rhymes!). My recent schedule change has given me less time to write stories. Don't worry, I intend on completing this story. The lyric from Chapter 6 is from **_**Raise Your Glass**_** by Pink.**

**Disclaimer: I do NOT own iCarly or any of the songs referenced. And I never will.**

Chapter 7

And All I Can Breathe is Your Life

The school bell rang, signaling the end of fourth period. Within seconds, the halls of Ridgeway were filled with students exiting the classrooms. Carly, Sam, and Freddie walked out of Room B-15 and headed for Carly and Sam's lockers. For our beloved trio, fourth period was health class. The three friends were discussing the latest topic from that class.

"So you can get vitamin A from eating foods like liver and dark, leafy green vegetables?" asked Carly.

Freddie nodded. "Right, and Vitamin A is beneficial because it can prevent certain eye diseases. Still, you wouldn't want to ingest too much Vitamin A or you could get symptoms of toxicity such as vomiting and bone pain."

Carly wrote this bit of info down in her notebook. "Thanks Freddie. I wasn't sure if I heard that right in class."

"Well, Mrs. Dawson does talk fast in her lectures."

"Yeah, I don't know how you guys can keep up with her," said Sam.

Freddie turned to Sam. "Well, you would know if you actually took notes in class."

"Pssh! What do I need to take notes for?"

"So you can improve your already low grade. And maybe all the low grades from your other classes."

That remark earned Freddie a swift kick in the shin. He spent the rest of the walk to the lockers on a limp. Carly and Sam input their combination numbers and opened their locker doors. Carly looked at her best friends as she took a textbook out of her locker. "So what do you guys think about the extra credit?"

Carly was referring to what Mrs. Dawson told the class before the bell rang. There would be an extra credit assignment in which students could receive CPR training. The sessions would take place during the next two weeks after school hours on Mondays and Wednesdays. Students could choose to attend the first or second week to receive CPR certification. The Monday sessions would involve a slideshow presentation of CPR followed by a quiz on the material. The Wednesday sessions would have the students practice on CPR mannequins. After the students complete the training and become certified, they could present their CPR cards to Mrs. Dawson to receive the extra credit.

"I'm all for it," said Freddie. "I think it would be a great thing to learn."

Carly smiled. "I agree. I think I will do it too. What about you Sam?"

Sam shook her head. "Nah. Not interested."

Carly's smile faltered a bit. "Oh come on Sam. CPR would be a very beneficial thing to learn."

Sam continued to shake her head as she put a notebook into her locker. "No thanks. This CPR chizz is after school. I don't want to be at Ridgeway any longer than I have to."

"But Sam, this could help you save someone's life." Carly said as she shut the door to her locker.

Freddie stepped in to back up Carly. "Plus, it's extra credit. It would be good for your grade."

Sam sighed in frustration. "I said no! I'm not going and there is nothing you can say to make me change my mind." She closed her locker door and started walking away.

"If you go, I'll give you beef jerky," called Freddie.

Sam quickly turned around and ran back to him. "Okay, I'll go." Sam extended her arm out to Freddie, her palm open and awaiting her treat.

Freddie frowned at her. "Oooooh no you don't! You're not going to just get the beef jerky now and skip out on the classes. I won't give you the beef jerky until after you attend the classes."

Sam dropped her hand back to her side and frowned back at him. "Oh come on Fredhead! I won't skip the classes. You can trust me."

Freddie laughed at her statement. "Ha! What kind of idiot do you think I am?"

Sam opened her mouth to speak, but Freddie put up his hand to stop her. "Don't answer that."

Sam smirked, but held back her answer. "Alright, suit yourself. I could easily just steal the beef jerky from you."

Freddie gave her a smug smile. "Nice try Sam. I'll be hiding the beef jerky and it won't be in my locker, so don't bother breaking into it."

Sam's eyes traveled from Freddie's face to his hips. Freddie understood that look in her eyes and quickly covered his hips with his hands. "And it won't be in my pockets either!" Freddie internally shuddered as he remembered what happened the last time he hid something from Sam on his person. It wasn't pretty.

Despite the chills he felt thinking about that incident, Freddie kept his composure and continued speaking to her. "I will be hiding it somewhere you wouldn't even think of looking. Instead of giving you the beef jerky right after each class, I will give it to you the morning after. That way, you cannot follow me to the hiding place."

Sam grumbled to herself. He knew her well. Now she had no choice but to go to the CPR classes if she was to get any of that dry, beefy goodness. "Fine, I'll go to the classes. You better have my beef jerky for me or you'll be sorry."

Freddie nodded. "Don't worry. I'll have it for you. I promise." He extended his open hand out to her.

Sam looked at his hand for a few seconds and reached out her own to shake it. "Okay. You, me, and Carly next week at CPR."

Freddie nodded. "Deal."

Carly stepped into the conversation. "Uh, actually I can't attend the classes next week."

Sam and Freddie looked at Carly in disbelief. "WHAT? WHY?" they both said. Sam and Freddie then looked back at each other in annoyed confusion. They have been doing that a lot lately. It was starting to weird them out a little.

Carly interrupted their little glaring contest. "I promised Spencer I would help him with a few art shows at the Seattle Convention Center. The shows are next week after school on those days. I can attend the CPR classes the following week."

"Okay then. We'll all go the following week," said Sam.

Freddie shook his head. "I can't do it the following week. My AV club is having a meeting that week on Monday after school."

Sam looked back and forth between her two best friends. "So now I've got to choose who to go with?"

"Actually Sam," said Carly "I don't think you can go with me the following week. Remember your community service?"

Sam stomped her foot on the ground in anger. Crap, she forgot about that! As part of her punishment for shoving a corndog down that Mexican Ambassador's pants, Sam was sentenced to do volunteer work at a food drive event for one of Seattle's food banks. This event would take place during one of the CPR classes in the following week.

"Well Sam. It looks like it's you and me then," said Freddie.

Sam rolled her eyes. "Yeah, this will be fun." The sarcasm in her voice was clear even to the most oblivious person in the world.

"Geez Sam. Is it really that unbearable to attend a class with me?"

"With all that nubiness emanating from you? Yes, it is."

"Okay first of all, I can't believe you know the word _emanate_. Secondly, I am not a nub!"

"Yeah you are."

"No I'm not!"

The two juveniles quickly got into a bickering match with Freddie trying to explain to Sam the reasons why he is not a nub and Sam plugging her fingers in her ears and yelling "Nub! Nub! Nub! Nub! Nub! Nub! Nub! Nub!" They continued this argument while heading in the direction of the cafeteria. Carly shook her head at her friends and followed them, hoping that their fighting would cease by the time they reach the lunch line.

* * *

><p>The next Monday came by very quickly. As soon as the bell rang to close the school day, Freddie and Sam walked to their first CPR class. Well, more like Freddie dragged a complaining Sam all the way to the class. The duo made quite an entrance into the classroom when they burst through the door and Freddie tried to pull the blonde into the room while Sam gripped onto the doorway to keep from entering. The class and the instructor watched with amusement and bafflement as Freddie pulled Sam by her waist while Sam held onto the doorway for dear life. Finally, the sweat that formed in Sam's palms caused her to lose her grip and she let go of the doorway. Happy that he won this little struggle, Freddie planted Sam in the nearest seat and sat down in the chair adjacent to her. Sam crossed her arms and huffed in anger.<p>

The slideshow was incredibly boring, at least for Sam. She kept thinking to herself about how she wanted this presentation to just be over and done with. When the slideshow finally ended, the instructor handed out the quiz papers. Freddie passed the quiz with flying colors. Sam, despite her boredom and her constant complaining in her head, managed to pass with a 90 percent. As promised, Freddie rewarded Sam's attendance with a Ziploc bag of beef jerky the next morning. Sam happily took the meat and chomped away.

Sam walked with Freddie to the Wednesday class with thoughts of choosing to walk on hot coals rather than attend the class. However, Wednesday was not as bad as Monday because they practiced with CPR mannequins. It was better than just sitting in a chair listening to a boring lecture. With the mannequins, they learned how to resuscitate a person suffering a heart attack and a person who was choking. Sam and Freddie paired up to practice teamwork resuscitation on a dummy. They did get into a few arguments during their practice….

"_Sam, you've got the breathing mask in the wrong place."_

"_**No I don't!"**_

"_Yeah you do! The mouth part is covering his forehead!"_

"_**Whatever, geekazoid!"**_

"_**Savor it Freddork. This dummy is the most lip action you will get from anyone."**_

"_Oh shut up Sam!"_

"_**Push harder, you nub! You got to push harder on the chest, even if you have to crush it a little."**_

"_I'm trying Sam! Not everyone has strong manly arms like you do!"_

"_**Say that again and that dummy will not be the only one with a crushed chest!"**_

….but in the end, they turned out to be a pretty effective team. When the class ended, the instructor printed out their CPR certification cards and handed them to the students. Freddie accepted his card with glee. Sam was not as delighted as her dorky male friend, but she accepted the card anyway. The next day, they received their extra credit from Mrs. Dawson. After they walked out of health class and reached Sam's locker, Freddie gave Sam her second bag of beef jerky.

"You know Sam," said Freddie as Sam opened the bag and took out a large piece of dried meat. "I have to say that I'm proud of you for attending the classes, even if it was for the sake of your appetite."

Sam took a bite of the jerky in her hand and looked at him. "Yeah well, nothing is going to stand in the way of Momma and her meat."

Sam chewed and swallowed the jerky, then took at look at the bag. "This is good beef jerky."

Freddie smiled. "Yeah, I got the Jack Fink's brand. I knew it was your favorite."

Sam said nothing. She just took another bite of beef jerky. The expression on her face would seem unreadable to anyone. But to Freddie Benson, he was able to look past the "emotionless" wall and see that she was touched by his consideration. After years of getting to know her, Freddie had gotten better at understanding Sam. He still had some trouble figuring her out, but it was a good start.

Before either of them could say anything more, Carly walked up to them. "Hey guys. Sorry I didn't walk with you out of health class. I had to turn in an extra credit assignment to Mr. Howard."

Sam and Freddie cringed at the mention of one of their least favorite teachers. "Ugh! How was that?" asked Sam.

"Not pleasant, as usual. He just took my paper and told me to beat it before he reconsiders giving me the extra credit points."

Freddie shook his head in disapproval. "I swear, that guy needs to get fired."

"Or arrested and sent back to his home planet." Sam added.

Carly smiled at her two best friends. "Anyway, I wanted to talk to you two about discussing iCarly ideas on Saturday."

"What about it?" asked Freddie.

"We can't do it at my apartment. Spencer is making a sculpture on that day and he doesn't want anyone in the apartment at that time."

"Okay, no problem. We'll just have our meeting in the studio."

"Uh, Spencer wanted the **whole** apartment to himself. And that includes the studio and my room."

Sam and Freddie stared at Carly in puzzlement. "Why?" they both asked.

Carly shrugged. "I have no idea. All he told me was that the presence of anyone else in the apartment would 'taint the sculpture'".

Sam and Freddie looked at each other and simply shrugged, reaching an unspoken agreement that they really didn't want to know Spencer's reasoning after all. "What about Benson's apartment?" asked Sam.

"Can't. My mom is having the place painted on Saturday," said Freddie.

"So where then?" asked Sam. The trio thought about it for a minute. Then Carly spoke up.

"Well, we could go to the park. The weather report said it would be a sunny day on Saturday."

Freddie nodded. "Okay, sounds good to me."

"Me too," said Sam. "We can discuss iCarly ideas and throw rocks at nerds."

Carly was not amused. "No Sam, you are not doing that again! That's what put you in juvie the second time."

"Oh come on, pleeease! I promise I won't throw it at their heads this time!"

Carly gave her a stern look. "Saaaam!"

Sam sighed in defeat. "Fine, we'll just discuss iCarly."

"Good. You guys ready to get some lunch?"

"Si," said Freddie.

"Always," said Sam.

So the trio walked to the cafeteria with high expectations of a good lunch, for today was spaghetti and meatballs day.

* * *

><p>As promised by the weather report, Saturday was a bright and sunny day. There was a cool, gentle breeze and there wasn't a cloud in the sky. It was a nice break from Seattle's infamous rainy weather. People were out and about to enjoy the great outdoors. Like the iCarly team, there were people who decided to spend time at the park. Some were parents pushing their baby strollers. Others were teenagers playing Frisbee.<p>

Carly, Sam, and Freddie were seated under the shade of a tree with a picnic blanket spread out and a couple of coolers by their side. They ate their lunch while talking about iCarly skits.

"I think for the next 'Messin' with Lewbert', we put super glue on his phone and give him a call," said Sam as she took a turkey sandwich out of one of the coolers.

Carly nodded. "That sounds good. Just as long as it doesn't seriously injure him like last time."

"Yeah, I don't want to have to go through that again," said Freddie as he bit into the apple he was holding. "The last thing we need is to nurse Lewbert back to health."

Carly finished sipping her Peppy Cola. "Yeah and who knows which of our family he would be going out with this time? I mean, he could start dating Sam's mom."

After taking in what Carly had just said, all three teenagers shuddered. They could only imagine how **that** would turn out. Sam shook those unwanted thoughts out of her head and decided to get back to their task at hand. "Another thing we could do is have Gibby play matchmaker."

Carly looked at Sam in disbelief. "But Gibby is a terrible matchmaker!"

Sam smiled. "Exactly. It would be hilarious to see who he would pair up."

Carly perked up with interest. "You know, you're right. It would be funny. He would probably say that Ms. Briggs and Wade Collins would make a good couple."

Sam started laughing. "Oh man, they could be Mr. and Mrs. Hob-Knocker!"

Carly started cracking up. Freddie barely had time to swallow a mouthful of apple before he started laughing too. Just then, Freddie stopped laughing and began to cough. And then he went into a second coughing fit. Then a third fit. Carly and Sam noticed this and stopped laughing. Carly slapped his back a few times to help him. Freddie stopped coughing, but the look of distress did not leave his face. "Freddie, are you alright?" Carly asked with growing concern.

Freddie shook his head. He dropped the half-eaten apple, put his hands to his throat, and began to gasp for air.

"Oh my God, he's choking!" yelled Carly.

Upon hearing Carly's alarming words, Sam immediately stood up and rushed over to Freddie. Sam knew she had to perform the Heimlich maneuver on Freddie. She had quickly gone through how to perform the procedure in her head by the time she reached him. Sam pulled Freddie to his feet and wrapped her arms around him. She formed a fist with one hand and used the other hand to take hold of her fist. Then she started thrusting her enclosed hands into his abdomen.

Carly could do nothing except watch from the sidelines. Having not yet taken the CPR classes, she would be unable to help. It was all up to Sam to get Freddie out of this. Several people in the vicinity took notice of the scenario and rushed toward the trio to observe the scene. For about a minute, the small audience watched Sam forcefully push into her male friend's abdomen. Freddie's upper torso jerked forward with each thrust that Sam gave him, but the apple piece continued to obstruct his breathing.

"_Why isn't this working?"_ thought Sam as she maintained her attempts to dislodge the fruit from Freddie's esophagus without any success.

Suddenly, Freddie started to feel heavy in Sam's arms. His head was leaning forward and his eyes were closed. His arms were hanging loosely at his sides. Sam immediately knew what this meant. Freddie had lost consciousness.

Oh crap!

Carly gasped and covered her mouth with her hands. She seemed to be aware of how dire the situation had just become.

Sam looked up at her. "Carly, call 911!"

Carly immediately whipped out her cell phone and began dialing the numbers. Sam looked up at the crowd that was forming around them. Her eyes focused on the nearest bystander. "You!" said Sam pointing to the teenage male. "Bring me an AED!"

The young male looked at her with confusion. "Bring you a what?"

Sam gave him a frustrated glare. "A defibrillator! GO!"

Without hesitation, the male rushed to the nearby community center to find the device. Sam carefully set Freddie on his back. She pried his mouth open and took a peek inside it. She could not see the offending piece of fruit. So Sam performed the next step in her CPR training. She tilted his head back slightly and leaned toward him, placing her own mouth upon his. She gave him two breaths, keeping an eye on his chest during each breath. His chest did not rise, which meant he was not getting any air in his lungs. Sam lifted her head up and placed the tips of her two fingers on the base of Freddie's neck. She could feel a pulse. This was good. She didn't need the AED yet. Sam put her palms on his chest. She pushed down on his chest, counting the number of compressions in her head.

As soon as she counted to 30, Sam stopped the chest compressions and looked into Freddie's mouth. Still no apple. Sam then gave Freddie two more breaths. Sam repeated the cycle of chest compressions and rescue breaths three times. With each cycle she performed, Sam became more and more worried. She knew that the more time he spent in this state, the greater the danger he was in. This was not supposed to go down like this! Her amazing strength should have forced the fruit out of his throat by now. Why is it not coming out? Where is that guy with the damn AED? She might need to use it in case Freddie…..she did not want to think about that outcome.

Carly nervously watched the scene from a few feet away. She had finished her 911 call and could do nothing else except stand by in case Sam needed help. The other people surrounding them also stood by and watched the scene. A couple of them were anxiously biting their fingernails and others were silently praying for the situation to get better.

After Sam finished her fifth set of chest compressions, she looked into Freddie's mouth once again. And then she saw it! The piece of fruit that was killing her best friend. She could see the mixture of red apple skin and white apple flesh sticking out of the back of Freddie's throat. Sam opened Freddie's jaw a little wider and put her fingers into his mouth to grab the apple piece, being careful not to push the obstructing object further down his esophagus. She managed to get a hold of the piece and pull it out of Freddie's mouth.

Even though the fruit was no longer blocking his airway, Freddie wasn't out of the woods yet. Sam could see that he still wasn't breathing. She bent over and planted her lips on his. She blew into his mouth and looked at his chest. It was rising! It rose again when she gave him a second breath. Sam lifted her head up and placed her fingertips on the base of his neck. Surprisingly there was still a pulse, although it was a little faint. She went back to giving him breaths.

She had finished giving him four consecutive rescue breaths and Freddie still was not responding. Sam's thoughts screamed at him during her fifth breath.

"_Come on, Benson! Open your eyes! Breathe! DO SOMETHING!"_

Sam went in for her sixth rescue breath and blew air down his throat. Then she felt something weird. It felt like her own air was rushing back into her mouth. Then it hit her. It was a cough! He's waking up! Sam immediately sat back up. Sure enough, Freddie rolled onto his side and coughed up a storm.

"Oh, thank God!"said Carly as she felt immediate relief upon seeing her friend's recovery. Some of the crowd let out a sigh of relief while others clapped their hands together to applaud Sam's efforts. Sam did not pay any mind to the crowd's reactions. She just stared at Freddie.

Just then, a couple of paramedics arrived on the scene holding their resuscitation equipment.

"Where's the person who's choking?" asked one of the paramedics. A few people in the crowd pointed to Freddie lying on the ground. The two paramedics approached Freddie and knelt down to his level.

"Son, are you alright?" asked Paramedic #1.

Freddie cleared his throat and looked up at them. "Yeah, I think so."

"What happened?" asked Paramedic #2.

Carly answered for him. "Freddie was choking on a piece of apple." She pointed to Sam as she talked. "Sam performed the Heimlich maneuver on him, but he passed out. Then she gave him CPR and got the apple piece out of him and he started coughing and woke up."

Paramedic #1 turned to Sam. "You did a good job young lady." Sam did not respond to him. She just continued staring at Freddie.

"Is he going to be okay?" asked Carly.

Paramedic #2 took a quick look at Freddie, then he turned to Carly. "I think he's going to be fine. But just to be safe, we should take him to the hospital to get checked out. CPR could cause internal injuries."

Paramedic #1 put his hand on Freddie's shoulder. "Are you okay with that, son?"

Freddie nodded. "Yeah, sure. Thank you."

Paramedic #1 helped Freddie to his feet and led him to the ambulance. Paramedic #2, Carly, and Sam followed them.

* * *

><p>Carly and Sam sat in the hospital waiting room while Freddie was getting his exam. Sick of passing the time reading magazines, Carly took a look at her surroundings. The waiting room was not a pleasant place to be in. There were other people in the room as well waiting to hear the fate of their loved ones. Some of them were glum, others were fidgeting, all of them were stricken with worry. The negative atmosphere in the room would bring down even the most cheerful person on Earth.<p>

Then Carly focused her gaze on the blonde sitting next to her. Sam had not spoken a word ever since the incident. She was quiet throughout the ride to the hospital and she remained quiet while they were in the waiting room. This unusual silence from her often rambunctious friend made Carly feel uneasy. She decided to break the tension by talking to her.

"I'm sure he'll be fine. He's here in the hospital now. They will take very good care of him."

"Yeah, I know," Sam mumbled.

Glad that her friend was finally talking, Carly tried to strike up a conversation with her. "You did good back there, Sam. You saved Freddie's life," she said with a smile.

Sam did not look at Carly. She folded her arms over her chest and crossed one leg over the other to be more comfortable in the not-so-comfy chair. "Yeah, sure," she said in an unenthusiastic tone.

Carly was a bit surprised by the lack of gloating, but continued talking to Sam. "I mean, you jumped right in there and did what you needed to do. You were very brave."

Sam continued to stare at the wall straight ahead of her. "Yup," she said with no emotion.

Now Carly started to get a little flustered at her friend's behavior. "Sam, you saved his life! Aren't you proud of yourself?"

Sam finally turned her head to look at Carly. "I'm going to the bathroom." Then Sam sat up from her chair and walked out of the waiting room.

Carly stared at Sam in a stunned silence for a few seconds before she rose up from her chair. She walked to the door that Sam exited through and opened it. She looked to the hallway on her right and saw a mass of blonde, curly hair disappearing into the third door on the left. Carly stomped to the door, pushed it open, and entered the bathroom. She found Sam at one of the sinks splashing water onto her face from the running faucet.

"Okay, what is your deal, Sam?" demanded Carly as she walked up to her friend. Sam just twisted the sink's handle to shut off the water, snatched a paper towel from the dispenser, and began wiping her face with it.

Carly continued her frustrated speech. "You saved Freddie's life, but you're not gloating about it! You proved that you are good at performing CPR, yet you are not proud of yourself! You know that Freddie is going to be okay, but you are not happy about it! Why are you acting like this?"

Sam crumpled up the paper towel and tossed it into the garbage bin. Then she turned around to face the angry brunette. Carly's frustration was replaced with concern when she saw an unusual look on Sam's face. Carly recognized that look. It was the same look Sam had when she visited the Shays' apartment after her first day of work at Chili My Bowl.

Sam Puckett was about to cry.

Carly quickly walked over to Sam and pulled her into a hug. Sam buried her face into Carly's shoulder and began to sob. Carly patted her back and whispered to her that everything will be okay. After about a minute of crying and Carly trying to soothe her, Sam finally spoke.

"Eee koud aff ayed Arr-ee!"

Carly's eyebrows furrowed. "What?"

Sam lifted her face from Carly's shoulder. "He could have died, Carly! He could have died and it would have been all my fault! I didn't want to go to the CPR classes at all! He had to bribe me with meat to get me to go and even then I still didn't want to go! He had to drag me to one of the classes! Who could have helped him if I didn't take the classes? You don't know how to give CPR! Nobody in that crowd of people back at the park probably knew either! What if those paramedics didn't reach him in time? If I didn't go to the classes, he could have…!"

Unable to finish that painful sentence, Sam let out a loud wail and put her face back on Carly's shoulder. Carly resumed trying to comfort her crying friend.

* * *

><p>Freddie was sitting on the exam chair in one of the patient rooms. The nurse and the doctor attending to him had just given him a physical examination and had run a couple tests to check for any internal injuries. The nurse left to tend to another patient and the doctor went to retrieve the results from the tests. So Freddie was just in the room by himself awaiting the diagnosis. After about 5 minutes of waiting, the doctor returned to the room holding a clipboard.<p>

"Hello again Mr. Benson," said the doctor.

"Hi Dr. Arrington," said Freddie. "So am I alright?"

The doctor took a seat in the chair next to Freddie. "Well Mr. Benson…"

"Please, call me Freddie."

Dr. Arrington chuckled. "Okay. Freddie, you appear to be in good condition. The x-rays did not show any rib fractures. You do have some bruising, but nothing too serious. You just need to take it easy for a few days and you should be fine."

Freddie breathed a sigh of relief. "Thank you doctor." Then Freddie's face turned to a look of concern. "Uh, can I ask you a favor?"

Dr. Arrington smiled. "Of course you can, Freddie."

"Since my mom works at this hospital, could you please make sure that she doesn't find out about this?"

The doctor's smile disappeared and he looked at Freddie with sympathy. "I wish I could Freddie, but…"

Before the doctor could finish his sentence, the door burst open and in walked a panicked Marissa Benson. As soon as she spotted Freddie, she rushed over to him and scooped him into her arms.

"Oh my Freddikins! Are you alright? Are your lungs working properly? Are you coughing up blood?"

"Ow! Mom! You're hurting me!" protested Freddie.

Marissa released her son and turned around to look at Dr. Arrington. "How is he, Phil? Is he alright?" Marissa grabbed Dr. Arrington by the arms and shook him. "TELL ME HE'S ALRIGHT!"

Dr. Arrington grabbed the hysterical woman by her arms to prevent her from shaking him to death. "He's fine, Marissa. I'll tell you what has been done, but I need you to calm down!"

Marissa obeyed the doctor, put her arms back to her sides, and took a couple deep breaths to steady her nerves. Dr. Arrington did his best to reassure the concerned mother. "Nurse Douglas and I ran some tests on Freddie. He doesn't have any internal injuries other than some bruising. There is no serious damage. He is in good condition and is free to go home. He just needs to refrain from doing anything strenuous for a few days."

Marissa appeared to be satisfied with his diagnosis. "Thank you Phil. I owe you."

Dr. Arrington shook his head and smiled. "It's no problem Marissa. I'm happy I could help. Now if you'll excuse me, I have to see the next patient." Dr. Arrington picked up his clipboard that he dropped during the shaking and walked out of the room.

Marissa turned her attention back to Freddie. "I heard that you choked on a piece of fruit. I told you this would happen!"

Freddie groaned at her remark. Now his mother would never let him live this down. He would be eating fruit sauce for the rest of his life. Marissa grabbed her son by the shoulders and forced him to look at her. "What were you thinking? What caused you to eat fruit not pounded by a mallet?"

Freddie sighed in frustration. "Nothing Mom! I was just eating lunch in the park with Carly and Sam. I started choking on an apple, then Sam performed CPR on me, then the paramedics brought me here and…"

Marissa interrupted him. "Wait a minute! Did you say Sam performed CPR on you?"

"Yeah, Sam gave me the Heimlich Maneuver and everything. She got the fruit out of my throat."

Marissa looked at him incredulously. "Sam did this? Sam Puckett the delinquent gave you CPR?"

Freddie looked at his mother with a mixture of confusion and anxiety. "Uh, yeah?"

At that moment, Marissa released Freddie's shoulders. She turned in the opposite direction and started walking to the door.

"Mom! What are you doing?"

Marissa looked back at him. "I going to find Sam and thank her for saving my son." With that, she walked out of the room.

Freddie looked at the open door for a few seconds before getting out of the exam chair and following her. As he walked down the halls of the hospital, he was deep in thought.

Sam Puckett saved his life. The girl who constantly tormented him with her words and her fists **saved** his life. Nobody has ever done something like this for him. Ever! No words could describe how grateful he felt toward her. He wanted to repay her. But how could he repay her for something like this? Freddie thought about this for a moment and came up with an answer. He would be there for her. He would be there for her whenever she needed him. That, and he would also take her to that new cheese shop that just opened. He heard that every Saturday was "Free Sample" day.

* * *

><p><strong>AN: And so we conclude Chapter 7. I wanted to do this chapter ever since I decided to start making fan fiction. This has got to be the longest chapter of this story thus far. I hope you enjoyed it.<strong>

**Jack Fink is a parody of the Jack Link's Beef Jerky company. You know, the one with the "Messin' with Sasquatch" commercials.**


	8. I'm on the Hunt, I'm After You

**Hi everyone! Well, it took me a long time, but I've finally got Chapter 8 finished. Having to send my computer to the shop for repairs helped slow down the process. Oh well. The lyric from Chapter 7 is from **_**Iris**_** by the Goo Goo Dolls. Alright, let's begin!**

**Disclaimer: I do not own iCarly or any of the songs referenced blah blah blah.**

Chapter 8

I'm on the Hunt, I'm After You

It was a late Thursday afternoon and the sun was close to setting. A public bus drove through a neighborhood making its afternoon rounds. It pulled over to the curb and came to a stop in front of a wooden bench. The bus door folded open and a girl stepped off the bus. She thanked the bus driver, who waved at her and then closed the door.

She was a teenage girl who was in her junior year. When the bell rang to end the school day, she stayed on campus to attend an after-school art class she had recently enrolled in. When the class ended, the girl hopped on the next public bus to take her to her current location.

She was not going home. She was paying somebody a visit. Her destination was four houses away from the bus stop. It took less than two minutes for her to walk to the front door of her destination. She rang the doorbell and waited patiently. About 15 seconds later, the door opened to show a middle-aged woman wearing an apron. She set her eyes upon the visitor and a warm smile formed on her face.

"Hello Stephanie dear!" said the woman kindly. "How are you today?"

Stephanie Harbinger smiled back at the woman. "Hi Mrs. Dudley. I'm doing fine. How are you?"

"Oh I'm fine, dear. How was school?"

"School's good. I like the new art class I'm taking. We're doing landscape paintings right now. I'm working on a picture of a sandy beach with ocean waves in the background."

Mrs. Dudley's face brightened up. "Oh that sounds nice! I would like to see it sometime."

Stephanie smiled at Mrs. Dudley. "I'll show it to you as soon as it's finished. Is Brett home?"

Mrs. Dudley nodded. "Yes, he's in his room. You can go see him."

"Thank you, Mrs. Dudley." Stephanie stepped into the house and walked up the stairwell. When she reached the second floor, she turned left and walked down the hallway. She stopped at the door at the end of the hallway and knocked on it.

"Come in!" said a voice from behind the door. Stephanie opened the door and entered the room. Brett was sitting in his computer chair looking at his laptop which was set up on his desk. He turned to his girlfriend and smiled.

"Hi sweetie."

Stephanie smiled back at him. "Hey there, cuteness." She walked over to her boyfriend and planted a quick kiss on his lips which he happily returned.

"How was art class?" asked Brett as soon as they parted.

Stephanie set her backpack on Brett's bed. "Pretty good. I'm close to finishing my beach painting. Your mother wants to see it after I finish it."

Brett chuckled. "Yeah, my mom loves art. Especially paintings."

Stephanie smiled and then looked over Brett's shoulder at his laptop monitor. "Whatcha doing?"

Brett turned back to his computer. "I'm getting ready to watch something. Have you ever heard of iCarly?"

Stephanie shook her head. "No. What is it?"

"It's this comedy web show that is run by some teens here in Seattle. Jen suggested that I check it out. I watched a couple of episodes and it's actually pretty funny. Tonight's episode starts in a few minutes. You wanna watch it with me?"

"Sure!" Stephanie walked to Brett's closet and pulled out a foldable chair. She walked back to her boyfriend and set up the foldable chair right next to him.

"I'm going to get a drink. You want something?" asked Brett.

Stephanie sat down in her chair. "No thanks, I'm fine."

Brett got up from his chair and walked over to his mini fridge. He took out a can of Wahoo Punch from it, popped the tab, and walked back to his chair to sit down. Before long, the title swerved onto the screen with the dot of the "i" flashing brightly. Then the screen changed into a view of the studio with the two female hosts of the web show standing in the center of it.

"Hey everybody! I'm Carly!"

"And my name's a mystery."

"No, it's not."

"She's right. I'm Sam!"

"And this is iCarly!" said both girls as the web show's title once again flashed onto the screen.

Stephanie's eyes widened as soon as she saw the blonde co-host. "Oh my God, that's _her_!"

Brett looked at his girlfriend in confusion. "Who?"

Stephanie pointed at Sam on the screen. "Her! That's the one who beat me up a few months ago!"

Brett leaned closer to the laptop. "The blonde girl? You sure that's the one?"

Stephanie turned to look at her boyfriend. "I've had nightmares about that girl for five weeks after that incident! Believe me, that's the one!"

The couple turned their attention back to the laptop screen. The camera was currently focusing on Carly. "And now, Freddie will list the Top Ten Excuses for Not Doing Your Homework!"

"Take it away, Fredderman!" said Sam.

The camera shifted from the female hosts to the male tech producer. "Number ten: 'I didn't do my homework so my dog couldn't eat it.'"

Brett's eyes furrowed as he looked at Freddie. "Hey, isn't that the guy you went on that fake date with?"

Stephanie leaned in for a closer look. "Yeah, that is him. What is he doing on a web show with-?"

That's when it hit Stephanie. Her eyes widened in realization and then narrowed in anger. "Oh my God, that's it! That's the reason why that girl beat me up!" Stephanie pointed at the male brunette on the screen. "Because she knows him!" Stephanie clenched her fists tightly to the point where they were slightly shaking. "That nerd squealed to her about the fake date and then she came after me! She broke my arm and gave me a black eye! Those two are going to pay for that!"

Brett looked at his girlfriend in surprise. "You're going to get back at them?"

Stephanie turned to look at Brett, the anger never leaving her face. "Yes I am! That bitch put me in a cast for two months! That's sixty days of not being able to use my arm! Do you know how hard that is? Not only that, but I had to see a shrink until the nightmares stopped! There is no way I'm going to let this slide!"

Stephanie turned back to the screen and glared at it. Brett thought about what she just said to him and he started to want revenge as much as Stephanie did. He remembered how miserable she was during her recovery and he hated seeing her like that. Of course, she wasn't the only miserable one. He had to take care of Stephanie at school while she recovered from her injuries. He had to carry her things, drive her places, and write her homework assignments for her because she had a difficult time writing with her left hand. Not only was it hard to do, but it took up a lot of his time. He ended up missing a lot of basketball practices and was not allowed to join his team for a big game as a result. That pissed him off to no end.

"I'll help you get back at them," he said.

Stephanie looked at him in surprise. "You will?"

Brett gave her a look that showed he was serious. "Yes Steph. Nobody beats up my girlfriend and gets away with it. Plus, I want a piece of that wimp for going home and crying to the blonde girl about you."

Stephanie's face lit up. "Oh Brett!" She jumped into his lap and locked lips with him. They parted after ten seconds of passionate kissing.

"So how do you want to do it?" asked Brett.

Stephanie got up from Brett's lap. "I want to strike them at their school, where they would least expect it. I think Freddie said that he went to Ridgeway."

"That's on the other side of town! How are we going to get them at their school when we have school too?"

Stephanie smiled wickedly. "Oh don't you worry about that. We'll figure this out. Do you have a notebook somewhere in here?"

Brett opened his desk drawer, took out a notebook, and handed it to Stephanie. She sat down on Brett's bed and opened the notebook while fishing a pen out of her backpack. "Okay Brett," said Stephanie with a click of her pen and a look of determination in her eyes. "Operation: Payback begins now!"

* * *

><p>For the next week and three days, Operation: Payback went into the works. In order to gain information about Sam and Freddie, Stephanie and Brett hired an informant who was a friend of theirs currently on suspension from school to go to Ridgeway and spy on them. The informant accepted their $50 payment and spent a week sneaking into Ridgeway to learn whatever he could. While he was gathering information, Stephanie and Brett discussed how they wanted to strike at the unsuspecting duo. They agreed that they wanted to strike at Sam and Freddie without them knowing who their attackers were. They also wanted to strike at Sam and Freddie more than once. This way, Sam and Freddie would be living in fear of their unknown attackers.<p>

After he finished his reconnaissance, the informant presented his findings to Stephanie and Brett. They received Sam and Freddie's class schedules, the overall weekly academic schedule of Ridgeway, a couple of maps of the Ridgeway campus, the location of Sam and Freddie's lockers, and photos of the people Sam and Freddie associated with. Then Stephanie and Brett used this information to brainstorm the pranks they would pull on Sam and Freddie. By Sunday evening, they had their list of pranks and they were ready to put them into action the next morning. The couple went to sleep looking forward to Monday for the first time in their lives.

At 7:30 on Monday morning, Stephanie was packing her stuff for the day. Her parents bid her goodbye and wished her a good day at school. As soon as her parents left for work, Stephanie called Brett on her cell phone and told him that he could come over now. Then she phoned her school and told the receptionist that she was sick and wouldn't be coming to school today. Fifteen minutes later, Brett arrived at her house. Stephanie put on her backpack and got into Brett's car. Then Brett pulled out of the driveway and the car headed in the direction of Ridgeway.

* * *

><p>Thirty minutes later, the couple arrived at Ridgeway. To avoid drawing attention, Stephanie and Brett waited in the car until the school bell rang to start the morning classes. While the students of Ridgeway were busy walking to their classes, the couple got out of the car with their backpacks in tow. They snuck to the back of Building G, where they would have the least chance of being seen.<p>

While there, they discussed the first part of their plan. When both partners in crime knew all the details, Brett headed to the school office while Stephanie remained behind Building G to wait for him. The plan was for Brett to attack Freddie with a water gun full of pickle juice while he was alone in the hallway. In order to do that, they would use a fake note from the principal summoning Freddie to his office. Once Freddie walks out of the classroom and into the hallway, Brett will attack him with the water gun and then run off before Freddie registers what happened to him. Brett would be wearing a clown mask so Freddie wouldn't recognize him.

When Brett reached the door to the office, he hid by the doorway and peeked inside. The receptionist was at her desk working on her computer. She was currently the only person in the room. Normally, the Ridgeway office had two receptionists, but the informant had told Brett that the second receptionist was sick with pneumonia and would be out for a while. This meant that the current receptionist would have to answer both her phone and the second receptionist's phone. The second receptionist's desk was located in the back corner of the room where part of the office wall blocked it from view. Anyone sitting at this desk would be unable to see anyone coming in through the front door.

Brett sent a text to Stephanie, informing her to carry out the next step in the plan. Stephanie dialed the number to the second receptionist's phone. A few seconds later, the phone rang. The first receptionist got up from her desk and went to the other desk to answer the phone. As soon as she was out of sight, Brett quickly entered the office and snuck behind her desk. He took a summoning note from the corner of her desk, quickly filled it out, put it in the "Out" box, and sneaked out of the office. Then he sent a text to Stephanie as a signal to end her call with the receptionist and carry out the next prank.

Brett walked toward the classroom that Freddie was currently in. There was a boys' restroom not too far down the hall from the classroom. That was where Brett would be hiding and waiting. Brett entered the restroom and checked the stalls to make sure they weren't occupied. When he was sure that he was alone, Brett put on his clown mask and took his water gun out of his backpack.

Now it was a matter of waiting. Brett knew that the office assistant would go through the papers from the "Out" box, find the summoning note, and deliver it to Freddie's classroom. He opened the restroom door a bit and peeked through the crack to watch out for the assistant.

After about five minutes of waiting and peeking, Brett saw a girl walk toward the classroom with the summoning note in her hands. She entered the classroom and closed the door. Brett waited some more, watching the classroom door in anticipation.

Just then, the door opened and the office assistant stepped out of the classroom. Brett closed the restroom door so she wouldn't see him. He listened to the sound of her footsteps walking past the restroom door and fading down the hall. Brett cracked the door open again and looked at the classroom door.

As soon as he did this, the classroom door opened again. "_There he is_" thought Brett. He quickly closed the restroom door to avoid being seen. He pumped his water gun a few times and listened at the door. Freddie's footsteps were getting closer and closer to the door. Brett eagerly waited for his target to get within range. His moment of revenge would begin in about two seconds.

When the footsteps were parallel with the doorway, Brett struck. He quickly pushed the door open and fired away. A jet of pickle juice shot out of the gun and hit the unsuspecting boy, who raised his hands up to block the spray. Brett smiled as he watched Freddie get soaked, from his blonde head all the way down to his...wait a second! Freddie didn't have blonde hair!

Brett stopped firing the water gun. No longer feeling the spray, the dripping wet boy put down his arms. Brett's eyes widened in horror. The unfortunate victim of Brett's assault was a boy who was not Freddie Benson. Now that Brett was actually looking at him, he noticed that the boy was bigger than Freddie. This boy was Warren Miller, one of the offensive guards for the Ridgeway football team. Warren looked at the clown-faced Brett and began to growl in anger.

Brett backed up toward the restroom door. "No, wait! I'm sorry! It was a-!"

Brett did not get to finish his sentence before Warren grabbed him by the shirt and pulled him into the restroom. As soon as the restroom door closed, the classroom door opened and out stepped Freddie Benson. He walked toward the office, wondering why Principal Franklin wanted to see him.

Brett struggled to get out of Warren's grip, but failed miserably. Warren dragged Brett to the nearest stall and pushed the door open.

"Let me go! It was a mistake!" begged Brett.

But Warren was not listening. Before Brett knew it, he was hoisted off his feet and dunked headfirst into the stall's open toilet.

* * *

><p>Stephanie hung up her phone, ending her conversation with the receptionist. Brett would be taking care of Freddie, so now she was going to get to work on getting back at Sam. The students were still in class, so she would be able to walk around without being noticed. She walked away from Building G and entered the main campus building. With the help of the informant's directions, she navigated her way through the building until she reached a hallway of lockers. She was looking for Sam's locker. Stephanie scanned the locker numbers until she found the one that the informant labeled as Sam's locker.<p>

Stephanie's plan was to fill Sam's locker with cockroaches. She had a jar of cockroaches inside her backpack. Now she just had to break into Sam's locker. Stephanie was not very good at listening to the tumblers of a combination lock, so she would have to get into the locker using force. She took a screwdriver out of her backpack and started to fiddle with the locker door's latch.

Unfortunately for Stephanie, the informant was unaware of one thing. Recently, locker break-ins and thefts have been taking place at Ridgeway and were becoming a growing problem. So Sam had her security system reinstalled in her locker. Due to Carly's protests about it electrocuting anyone who touched the door, Sam had the system modified so that it would only electrocute anyone who tried to break into her locker.

Stephanie stuck the tip of the screwdriver into the locker's latch and twisted it a few times. Nothing. She then jacked the screwdriver up and down like a lever. Still no progress. So Stephanie pointed the screwdriver straight at the latch and pushed hard. She heard a small click from the latch.

That's when the security system kicked into gear. A jolt of electricity shot down the screwdriver and into Stephanie's arm. The voltage caused Stephanie's hand to tighten on the screwdriver and her body to go into spasms. She shook violently for a few seconds before her convulsions jerked the tip of the screwdriver from the locker.

Stephanie fell flat on her back with a loud thud. She lay on the floor for about a minute. Her body was still shaking from the effects of the electricity. Her hair was slightly frizzled and sticking up in several places.

Although she didn't feel like getting up at the moment, Stephanie knew that she had to get out of the hallway before someone found her. She sat up off the floor and got to her feet, her spasms making the task a bit difficult. With each shaking footstep, she walked out of the hallway and headed back to Building G.

* * *

><p>Brett was making his way back to Building G, feeling bitter during the entire walk. Water dripped from his wet hair. He was unable to wash his head in the sink due to Warren chasing him out of the restroom. He tossed his clown mask into the trash can, not wanting to wear it anymore. Who would want to wear a mask that's been in the toilet?<p>

As soon as he reached the back of Building G, he saw Stephanie approaching the building as well. He took notice of her appearance. "What happened to you?"

Stephanie stopped in front of Brett. "That psychopath had her locker booby-trapped! I tried to break into her locker and it electrocuted me!

"What the hell? Seriously?"

"Yes! I feel like a cop just shot me with a taser! Twice!"

"Are you alright?"

"Yeah, I'm fine." Stephanie sighed in disappointment. "Anyway, I wasn't able to open the locker door and put in the cockroaches. I don't want to try again. I'm too scared to touch her locker."

Brett shook his head in agreement. "I don't blame you."

"By the way, how did it go with Freddie? Did you get him good? *sniff sniff* And why do you smell like a public toilet?"

Brett grimaced. "It didn't go well. I wasn't able to get him. As for the smell, let's just say you probably wouldn't want to kiss me until after I've brushed my teeth. And showered. And maybe gotten a few shots."

Stephanie raised an eyebrow at him. "Um…okay?"

Brett ignored the look she was giving him and focused on her hair. He let out a chuckle.

"What's so funny?" asked Stephanie.

Brett pointed at the top of her head. "Your hair is sticking up."

Stephanie put her hand on her head and felt her hair. Then the anger in her eyes came to the surface. "That bitch ruined my hair!"

Brett stopped chuckling. "Uh, Steph?"

Stephanie continued to rant. "First, she breaks my arm and puts me in a cast! Now she electrocutes me and messes with my hair!"

"Steph?"

"I will make her pay for this if it's the last thing I do!"

"Steph!"

Stephanie finally focused her attention on her boyfriend. "WHAT?"

Brett pointed to her right. "There's a roach on your shoulder."

Stephanie's eyes widened and she looked at her right shoulder. A big cockroach was perched on her shoulder, waving its antenna in the air. Stephanie gasped and raised her left hand to brush it off, only to find two more roaches skittering up her left arm. Stephanie squealed with fright and started to frantically brush herself all over. "AHHHH! GET 'EM OFF ME! GET 'EM OFF ME!"

Brett rushed over to her and helped her beat the roaches off her body. Stephanie took off her backpack and dropped it on the ground. Cockroaches began to crawl out of her backpack. Stephanie cringed in fear while Brett stomped on any roaches that got too close. When no more roaches came out of the backpack, Brett picked it up and peeked inside.

"Looks like the jar the roaches were in broke. That's how they got out."

Stephanie kept her distance from the backpack. "It must have broke when I fell to the ground after getting shocked."

"Well, they're all gone now. I'll empty out the glass and then you can have your bag back."

"Ew, no! I don't want it anymore! Those bugs were all over it!"

Brett sighed and tossed the backpack away. "Okay then, I guess we better carry on with the plan. "I'm going to go put the ransom note in Freddie's locker."

Stephanie's eyes bugged out upon hearing that last sentence. "No, don't!"

Brett looked at her confused. "Why not?"

"She might have his locker rigged too!"

"Oh, come on! Don't you think you're being a little paranoid?"

Stephanie grabbed Brett by the shirt and forced him to look at her. "I am not being paranoid! That girl beat me up just for using Freddie to make you jealous. She seems very protective of him. If her locker can shock people, there's no telling what she may have done to his locker!"

Brett had to admit that Stephanie had a point. "You're right, I'm sorry. I won't go to his locker."

Stephanie released his shirt and sighed with relief. "Thank you."

"I'll just have to find some other way to give the note to him."

"While you're doing that, I'm going back to the car to see if I can get my hair fixed. Meet me there in an hour so we can go over the next part of our plan."

Brett nodded. "Okay. I'll see you then."

Stephanie walked past Brett and headed straight to the parking lot. As soon as she was out of sight, Brett took the ransom note out of his backpack. He unfolded the paper and read it over:

_I have something that belongs to you. If you want it back, meet me in the boys' locker room as soon as you read this. Come alone. Knock on the door before you enter the locker room. First knock three times, then knock five times, then knock two times, then enter. Follow these instructions exactly or you will never see your precious item again._

Satisfied with what was on the note, Brett folded the paper back up. He didn't really have a possession of Freddie's which is why he didn't specify what he was holding for ransom. He would let Freddie sweat a little in trying to figure out what was taken.

Brett walked to the entrance of the main building. He could see students walking down the halls and conversing with their friends. Brett knew that if the students saw him, they would know that he didn't attend Ridgeway and news of his presence would spread. So he put on his sunglasses and put his hood over his head before entering the building. As he walked down the halls, he wondered how he was going to get the note to Freddie. He took a look at his surroundings in the hopes that something would give him an idea. He saw a group of girls standing in a circle and talking, a fat kid bent over a water fountain, and some band geeks walking down the stairs. None of these were helpful.

Then Brett saw Gibby step out of a classroom and walk in his direction. Brett recognized Gibby from the photos provided by the informant. He learned from both the informant and the web show that Gibby was friends with the iCarly trio. A light bulb turned on above Brett's head. He walked after Gibby. "Hey you! Uh…Gibby!"

Gibby stopped walking and turned to look at his caller. "Yes?"

Brett stopped right in front of the often shirtless boy. "Gibby. I need you to do something for me."

Gibby gave Brett a puzzled look. "Uh, do I know you? And what smells like a public toilet?"

Brett's face turned a little red. "Uh, I don't smell anything. Anyway, you don't know me. But you do know Freddie Benson, right?"

Gibby nodded. "Yeah, I know Freddie. Why?"

Brett showed Gibby the folded piece of paper. "I need you to give this to Freddie. I'd give it to him myself, but I can't find him and I have to go somewhere right now. Could you please give that to him for me?"

Gibby accepted the folded note. "Sure. What is it?"

Brett started to sweat a little. "Oh, uh just a little note for him. Please don't read it. It's just for him."

Gibby looked at Brett suspiciously for a moment, but then his facial features began to relax. "Okay, I'll make sure he gets this."

Brett smiled, happy that he was able to persuade the boy. "Thank you. You're the man."

Brett patted Gibby on the shoulder and walked away. Gibby returned to the task he was working on before Brett caught up with him. He walked through the halls of the building until he reached the drop boxes. Outside the main office was a wall of drop boxes that connected to the mailboxes of each faculty member. This way, teachers and students alike can deliver messages and homework assignments to individual faculty members.

Gibby reached into his backpack and took out a portfolio. He opened the portfolio and looked through his papers for the one paper that he intended to drop off. Suddenly, an orange flew across the room and hit Gibby's arm. He dropped his portfolio on the ground and his papers spilled out of it.

"Boomba!" yelled a voice behind him.

Gibby rubbed his arm and glared at the perpetrator of his pain. "Sam! How many times do I have to tell you? I am **not** playing that game!"

Sam was leaning against the wall, tossing an orange up in the air and catching it. "Yeah, you are. Whenever I feel like playing the game, you are playing too."

"That's not how it works!" protested Gibby. He bent down to pick up his papers and portfolio.

"Maybe not for you, but it works just fine for me. Besides, you agreed to play this game before."

Gibby stood up with all his papers and his portfolio in his arms. "Just because I agreed to it once doesn't mean I want to play it again and I agreed to it that one time because I didn't know you would be throwing fruit at me." Gibby said as he put a piece of paper into one of the drop boxes.

"Your fault for not knowing the rules of the game. Anyway, thanks for playing." Sam got up from the wall and walked away. Gibby rolled his eyes at the troublesome blonde. He put his things in his backpack and walked off.

* * *

><p>Brett sat on a wooden bench between two rows of lockers in the boys' locker room. He was the only person currently in the locker room. Nobody on the campus would have P.E. until the afternoon, so the locker room would be vacant for a while.<p>

Brett's plan was to lie in wait for Freddie and then beat the stuffing out of him. Freddie did not look like a fighter, so Brett felt that he would not be a threat. Due to the loss of his mask, Brett decided to keep the sunglasses and hood on to reduce the chance of Freddie recognizing him.

Brett tapped his fingers on the bench as he anxiously waited for Freddie's arrival. If Gibby came through with the task, Brett would be dishing out some payback to the unfortunate tech producer in a matter of minutes. He could hardly wait for this moment and since he didn't have to worry about witnesses, he would be at it for a long time.

Fifteen minutes later, Brett heard three knocks on the door. He stood up from the bench, but stayed behind the row of lockers to remain hidden from view. He could not see the door from behind these lockers, but he could hear the knocks on the door loud and clear. He listened intently for the rest of the knocks he was hoping to hear.

_Knock knock knock knock knock_ *pause* _knock knock_

Brett grinned. Freddie had arrived to receive the beating of his life. The moment had finally come.

Brett heard the door open and then close shut. Then he heard his target take a few steps before stopping in the center of the room. Brett cracked his knuckles. It was nerd-pounding time.

"So I see you've got my note and have come to claim your prized possession," said Brett as he started walking out from behind the lockers. "Well, that's too bad because now you're about to-."

Brett stopped in mid-sentence as soon as he stepped out from behind the lockers and caught sight of the center of the room. Freddie Benson was not there. Instead, a middle-aged woman stood in his place. Brett removed his sunglasses to make sure he wasn't seeing things. He wasn't. There actually was a middle-aged woman standing there. Brett could see the angry stare the woman was giving him from behind her eyeglasses. He had no idea who this woman was, but the faculty and students of Ridgeway knew her as Ms. Francine Briggs.

The angry English teacher approached the bewildered boy. "Alright you hoodlum! Where are my bagpipes?"

Brett looked at Ms. Briggs as if she had just told him that she was a pixie from Neverland. "Wait, what?"

"Don't pretend you don't know what I'm talking about! My bagpipes have been missing all morning and then I get your note in my drop box telling me to come here! Well I've done what you've said, now cough 'em up!"

"But…but ma'am! I don't have your bagpipes!" said Brett in a panic.

Ms. Briggs scowl deepened. "Stop lying to me! You just admitted that the note was from you, so you do have my bagpipes! Now where are they?"

Brett was at a loss for words. "But…I…but…"

"So that's how it's going to be, huh? Well then maybe a trip to the principal's office will get you talking." Without warning, Ms. Briggs grabbed Brett by the ear and yanked him toward the door. Brett stumbled a bit as he followed her, unable to fight back due to the pain in his earlobe. The two made the long and excruciating journey to the office.

* * *

><p>"Oh, by the way." Gibby reached into his backpack, took out a folded piece of paper, and held it out to Freddie. "This is for you."<p>

Freddie accepted the paper. "Thanks Gibby. What is it?"

Gibby shrugged. "I don't know. Some guy who knows you told me to give it to you. Must be some kind of message."

Freddie unfolded the piece of paper and held it out in front of him to read it. His eyes shifted back and forth a few times between the piece of paper and Gibby, the confusion in his gaze growing with each shift.

"Uh, Gibby?"

"What's up?"

"This looks like your English homework."

Now it was Gibby's turn to look confused. "Wait, what?" He snatched the paper from Freddie and turned it over to look at it. Then his eyes widened in shock.

"Holy chizz on a cracker! It **is** my English homework! I thought I dropped this into Ms. Briggs's box! Dude, I've got to go turn it in!" Gibby turned in the opposite direction and started sprinting.

"Hey Gibby wait!" Freddie called after him. "Who was the guy who told you to give me a message?"

Gibby was in too much of a hurry to hear him. He ran down the hallway, turned a corner, and disappeared from sight.

* * *

><p>Stephanie sat in the passenger seat of Brett's car with the window down and her arm resting on the car door. She had straightened her hair as best as one could without a hairbrush, but there were still a few strands sticking out.<p>

Stephanie tapped her fingers on the door and let out an impatient sigh. Where the hell was Brett? She thought he would have been back by now. It's been over an hour and he was not answering his phone. He was probably having too much fun beating the stuffing out of Freddie to pay attention to her calls.

Stephanie heard the school bell ringing in the distance and checked her watch. It was 12:00, which meant that the bell signaled the beginning of lunch hour. She let out a frustrated grunt and opened the car door. It looked like she would have to carry out the next phase of the plan without Brett. She reached into the backseat and pulled out a full plastic bag. Then she stepped out of the car. After putting on her shades and pulling her hood over her head, Stephanie walked to the campus. Five minutes later, she arrived at her destination: the cafeteria.

The cafeteria was crowded. Students were either sitting at a table conversing with friends or in the lunch line waiting to get their food from the cafeteria staff. Stephanie walked around in search of Sam. With the large number of people in the area, Sam was pretty hard to find. Just when she was about to call off her search, Stephanie spotted her. The blonde girl was sitting at a table with her back toward Stephanie facing three other girls who were sitting on the opposite side of the table. Stephanie recognized the girl in the center of the trio from one of the pictures she received from the informant. It was Wendy, who was known as the gossip queen of Ridgeway. The informant told Stephanie that Sam and Freddie were on good terms with Wendy and would occasionally hang out with her. Sitting beside Sam were two brunettes, a male and a female. The female was sitting on Sam's right and the male was sitting on her left. Stephanie smiled wickedly. _"Carly and Freddie,"_ she thought. Target sighted.

Stephanie was a little surprised that Freddie was sitting by his friends and appeared to be in good condition. It looked like Brett failed to get Freddie after all. So where was he then? Stephanie didn't have time to contemplate on that right now. She was already here and lunch hour would not last long. It was now or never.

The table behind Sam, Carly, and Freddie was empty except for a lone guy sitting on the side of table opposite of the trio. Stephanie walked over to the table and took a seat right behind Sam. The lone guy looked up at Stephanie in confusion for a few seconds before going back to eating his lunch. Sam, Freddie, and Carly were having a conversation with Wendy and the two girls beside her and they didn't notice Stephanie slip behind them. Stephanie did not turn around to look at them for risk of them recognizing her. She just took a moment to eavesdrop on their conversation.

"…so Shane Maslow and Linda Johnson are dating now."

"What? Since when?"

"Since last week. On Friday, I saw them walking into the Groovy Smoothie and holding hands."

"Dude, I thought Linda hated Shane. She was always picking on him and calling him a nerd."

"Well, you know what they say about a girl constantly ripping on a guy."

"Yeah, that's true."

"Oh, before I forget. Here are some cocktail wieners from last night's party."

"Sweet! Thanks Wendy!"

"You're welcome. I know how much you guys liked them. Especially you Sam."

Aha! So it **is** Sam sitting right behind her. Time to put her plan into action. Stephanie took some cash out of her pocket and looked at the lone boy. "I'll give you ten bucks if you go sit somewhere else." The boy happily accepted the cash, picked up his lunch tray and left.

Stephanie took out a Tupperware container from her plastic bag and set it on the table. She slowly opened the lid. Inside the container were half a dozen eggs. These weren't ordinary eggs. They were eggs that she stored in her family's hot and muggy tool shed for several days until they became rotten. Stephanie took out one of the eggs, being careful not to break it. Then she took a quick look at the group behind her. The group was too immersed in their conversation to notice her. Stephanie took aim and tossed the egg at the back of Sam's head. The egg hit its target with a sickening splat. Stephanie quickly turned around to keep the group from suspecting her and listened to the reactions of the people behind her.

"Ugh!"

"What's wrong?"

"Somebody threw something at the back of my head!"

"What did they throw?"

"How should I know? It's on the back of my head!"

Stephanie stifled a chuckle and resisted the urge to gloat to Sam out loud. So she did it in her thoughts. _"How did you like that you bitch? That's for breaking my arm!"_

"Let me take a look."

"Can you tell what it is Wendy?"

"It looks like an egg. *sniff sniff* Ewww! It smells really bad!"

"_Ha ha! Take that Sam! That's a little gift from me to you!"_

"I think it's rotten."

"Dude, that's gross!"

"Who threw the egg at me?"

"I don't know. I didn't see anybody throw it. Did you guys see anything?"

"No."

"I didn't see anything."

"_That's right and you never will. You will be living in fear of me for a long time."_

"Are you alright, Julie?"

"_Yeah, 'are you alright, J-' ….wait…__**Julie**__?"_

Stephanie turned around to look behind her. Sitting at the table with egg running down her hair and her face in clear view of Stephanie's vision was a blonde girl who was definitely not Sam Puckett. It was actually a junior named Julie Macari, who played clarinet for the Ridgeway band. From the back, she looked exactly like Sam Puckett. Stephanie looked at the faces of the two brunettes sitting next to Julie and could see that they were not Carly and Freddie. They just looked like Carly and Freddie from behind.

Stephanie's jaw dropped in shock. How did she get the wrong person? She was sure that Sam Puckett was the one sitting behind her. She even heard the name 'Sam' come out of Wendy's mouth.

Julie turned to look at the male brunette sitting next to her. "No, I am not alright Sam! I smell like a landfill!"

Oh, that's the Sam that Wendy was talking about. Stephanie mentally kicked herself for screwing up so badly on this. She was so shocked by her blunder that she did not notice she was leaning on the rotten egg container in a way that she was slowly sliding it toward the edge of the table. By the time she did notice, it was too late. The container went over the edge and fell to the floor, breaking the eggs in the process. The sound of the container hitting the floor got the attention of Julie and the group.

"Hey miss. Are you alright?" asked Wendy.

"She's fine," said the girl on Wendy's right. "She just dropped her container, that's al-." The girl stopped talking and sniffed the air. Her face cringed in disgust. "Ugh! What is that smell?"

"It's coming from the container!" said 'Sam' pointing to the fallen container.

"Hey wait a minute! Those are rotten eggs!" said the female brunette as she held her nose.

Julie stood up from the table and glared at Stephanie. "So **you're** the one who threw the rotten egg at me!" Julie scooped up a handful of chili from her plate and raised her hand in the air to take aim.

Stephanie put her hands up in front of her in a stopping motion while trying to calm down the angry blonde. "No wait! It was a accident!"

But Julie was not in a listening mood. She flung the chili at Stephanie's head. Stephanie ducked down and avoided getting hit by the chili. Then she heard a yelp of disgust behind her. She turned around and saw a girl with chili all over her face.

Julie put her hands over her mouth in shocked embarrassment. The chili-faced girl glared at Julie and picked up an apple. Julie immediately tried to apologize to the girl. "I'm so sorry! I didn't mean to hit you! I was trying to get-!"

Obviously, the girl did not accept her apology. She pitched the apple straight at Julie's head. Julie ducked to avoid the shiny red projectile. The apple sailed over her head and smacked Gibby, who was passing by their table. The unexpected force of the apple caused Gibby to drop his lunch tray on a couple of jocks who were sitting down at a table to his left. The chili-covered jocks got up from the table and started walking toward Gibby with their teeth bared and their fists clenched.

In a panic, Gibby could only think of one thing to prevent the beatdown that he was about to receive. That's when he shouted the two words that put both fear and excitement in the hearts of every high school student on Earth.

"FOOOD FIIIIGHT!"

As soon as those words were heard, students from all over the cafeteria quickly picked up whatever food they could get their hands on and started throwing it at each other. Startled by the sudden change of events, the two jocks forgot about Gibby and participated in the mayhem.

About seven tables away from where Julie sat; Carly, Sam, and Freddie looked around at the students flinging food in all directions. Sam punched her fist into her other hand and grinned with excitement. "Alright! Now this is what I'm talking about!" She grabbed a bottle of mustard from her lunch bag and squirted some mustard on Freddie's shirt.

"Sam! You just ruined my shirt! Are you out of your mind?"

Sam answered his question by squirting mustard in his face. Freddie wiped the mustard off his face and glared at Sam. "You're going down Puckett!"

He reached into his lunch bag and took out a container of split pea soup. Sam jumped up from the table and ran while Freddie chased after her, throwing pea soup in her direction. Carly shouted after them. "You guys! Knock it off! Don't become a part of this food fight!"

Just then, a glob of tuna salad smacked Carly in the face. She looked at the guy holding the tuna salad and scowled at him. "Oh, it's on!" Carly charged at the boy, who ran for his life.

The whole cafeteria was a war zone. Food from both the cafeteria kitchen and from students' lunchboxes were flying everywhere. Everyone was either fighting their own personal battles or throwing food at random students. Julie was picking up whatever food she could find and throwing it at Stephanie, who was trying to run away from the angry blonde. Gibby, who for some reason took off his shirt for the fight, was throwing cream puffs at Wendy and letting out a war cry. Wendy fought back by throwing a piece of pie at his face. Sam and Freddie were throwing food at each other while taking cover behind tables. Carly managed to tackle the boy she was chasing and was sitting on his back, shoving his face into his own tuna salad. Chaos was everywhere and it seemed like there was no way of stopping it.

Suddenly, an extremely loud noise filled the entire cafeteria. The students stopped throwing food and put their hands over their ears to block out the deafening sound. In the midst of the stunned teenagers stood Principal Franklin. He was accompanied by Mr. Henning and Mrs. Dawson, who were covering their own ears. He held a walkie-talkie up to his head and spoke into it. "Thank you Katie. You can stop blowing the air horn into the intercom."

The intercom speakers stopped blaring out the loud noise. The students uncovered their ears and looked around in total confusion. Principal Franklin handed the walkie-talkie to Mr. Henning, took out the ear plugs he was wearing, and pocketed them. Then he took the megaphone that Mrs. Dawson was holding and raised it to his mouth.

"All of you, look in my direction."

The students did as they were told. When he felt certain that all eyes were on him, Principal Franklin continued speaking. "Now the first thing I am going to do is ask all of you a question and I want an answer right away. Who started this food fight?"

Julie waved her hand in the air to get his attention. "She did, sir! She threw a rotten egg at me and started this whole thing!"

Julie pointed at the food-covered Stephanie, who was staring at the floor in shame. Principal Franklin walked over to Stephanie. "Young lady, look up at me."

Stephanie brushed her chili-covered hair out of her face and looked up at the principal with fear and embarrassment in her eyes.

"I don't recall ever seeing you at this school. What is your name?"

Still trying to get past her humiliation, Stephanie stuttered with her answer. "Uh…well…my name…is…"

"STEPHANIE HARBINGER!'

Everyone turned in the direction of the new voice. They saw a woman walking toward Principal Franklin and Stephanie. She had long black hair, wore a gray business suit, and was carrying a thin briefcase in her right hand. As soon as Stephanie saw the woman, she turned white as a sheet.

"Mom? W-what are you doing here?"

The woman stopped in front of Stephanie and looked at her with intense anger. "I'll tell you what I'm doing here, Stephanie! I wanted to surprise you by taking you out to lunch as a reward for you making the honor roll! But when I arrived at your school's office to pick you up, the receptionist told me that you called in sick! So I called the house, but you didn't answer the phone! I was worried out of my mind that something happened to you! Then I get a call from Mrs. Dudley who was screaming into the phone that the principal of this school called her to tell her that your boyfriend was caught sneaking around here! So I drive over here and what do I find? You're at this school too, not sick and starting a food fight! **That's** what I'm doing here! Now let me ask you something, young lady! What are **you** doing here?"

Stephanie's lower jaw quivered in fear. "I…uh…well, I…"

"No answer for me? That's just not going to sit well with me. Do you have any idea how much trouble you are in? For pulling this little shenanigan, you are grounded for two weeks!"

Stephanie's eyes widened in shock. "But…but Mom!"

"No buts! My decision is final!"

Mrs. Harbinger turned to look at Principal Franklin and the anger on her face disappeared. "Are you the principal of this school?"

Principal Franklin nodded. "Yes, I am. My name is Ted Franklin."

Mrs. Harbinger shook hands with him. "Bridget Harbinger. I sincerely apologize for whatever trouble my daughter and her boyfriend have caused. Mrs. Dudley is on her way over here to pick up Brett."

Principal Franklin smiled at her. "Thank you Bridget. No need to apologize. I am just glad that everything is straightened out."

Mrs. Harbinger smiled at the principal and then turned to glare at her daughter. "Let's go home!"

Mrs. Harbinger stomped toward the cafeteria exit. Stephanie followed her mother with her head down and her shoulders slumped. As they walked out of the cafeteria, all the students were whispering amongst themselves about what they had just witnessed.

Principal Franklin turned his attention to the students. "Now as for all of you, your fourth period class will be canceled today."

The students started cheering and pumping their fists in the air.

"Because you will be spending it cleaning up the cafeteria."

The cheers quickly turned into "aww"s and complaints. Principal Franklin was unfazed by the students' reactions. "No exceptions! You all contributed to this mess, so you all have to clean it up. Anyone who tries to leave before this place is spotless will receive detention. Now start cleaning."

Principal Franklin, Mr. Henning, and Mrs. Dawson left the cafeteria. The janitorial staff gave the students cleaning supplies and walked out of the cafeteria, happy that they didn't have to clean up the mess. The students got right to work cleaning up the aftermath of their food fight. In the midst of the cleaning, the iCarly trio was hard at work on their corner of the room. Carly was picking up trash and putting it in a garbage bag. Sam was wiping the tables with a sponge. Freddie was mopping the floor. Halfway through cleaning a table, a thought entered Sam's mind.

"Hey Freddingle. Wasn't that the chick that took you on that fake date a few months ago?"

Freddie looked up from his mopping. "Yeah, that was her."

"What was she doing here?"

Freddie shrugged his shoulders. "Your guess is as good as mine."

* * *

><p><strong>AN: Well, that's the end of Chapter 8. Whew! That was a looooooooong one! Despite how long it was, I hope you enjoyed it. Please review.<strong>


	9. I'm Sick of Always Hearing Act Your Age

**Hi everyone! Well, here it is! Chapter 9 of **_**My Life is a Song**_**. I am so glad I got to finish this chapter in time for iLost My Mind. I am so looking forward to that episode! The lyric from Chapter 8 is from **_**Hungry Like the Wolf**_** by Duran Duran. I believe this is the oldest song referenced in this story. I don't want to get you bored with my rambling, so let's begin the chapter.**

**Disclaimer: I do not own iCarly or any of the songs referenced. Same old, same old.**

Chapter 9

I'm Sick of Always Hearing Act Your Age

Crouched behind a large trash bin, Sam Puckett was on the prowl. She was looking for a victim for her mischievous antics. The students of Ridgeway were walking down the halls, unaware that they could be a potential target for the blonde. Sam had a paintball blowgun in her possession and she planned on using it on an unsuspecting student. What a great way to start a Monday!

She looked at all the passing students before her eyes caught sight of a nerdy-looking boy carrying a glass tank that contained some insects. Perfect. Let's see if she could get him to drop the tank. She slowly raised her blowgun to her lips. She pointed the blowgun in the direction of the nerd and got ready to fire.

"Miss Puckett!"

The unexpected voice almost made Sam inhale the paintball through the mouthpiece. She turned to look at her surprise visitor. The voice belonged to Mr. Stern, who was standing right behind her with his arms crossed. Mr. Stern extended his open palm out to Sam. "Give me the blowgun."

Sam reluctantly handed the blowgun to him and stood up. "Now come with me to the principal's office." he ordered as he walked in the direction of the office. Sam followed the teacher with a clear display of irritation on her face. What a great way to start a Monday.

* * *

><p>Tuesday was no better. Sam forgot to turn off her phone and had it taken away when it rang in class. She didn't get her phone back until the end of the day. She was scolded in another class for doodling in her notebook. Sam was even more peeved about the fact that she got in trouble for that while Ripoff Rodney, who was two seats away from her, was doodling on his desk without being yelled at.<p>

On Wednesday, Sam decorated her locker door with stickers of MMA logos. She was forced to take them down because the faculty thought that it supported violent behavior. Her crock pot was confiscated from her locker by Mr. Howard for being a potential fire hazard. As a result, Sam didn't get to enjoy the pot roast she was making in the crock pot and had no choice but to eat the cafeteria food for lunch. That would not be so bad if the cafeteria wasn't serving tuna casserole, which was the worst-tasting meal at Ridgeway.

On Thursday afternoon, Sam was serving detention time in Ms. Briggs's classroom for something that was actually not her fault. Earlier that morning, a kid's chair broke and he collapsed as a result. Sam was automatically blamed for it. Sam frowned as she sat in her chair, thinking of that incident. It made her so mad that she was chewing her gum louder than usual.

"Sam Puckett!"

Sam looked at Ms. Briggs, who was sitting at her desk. "Spit that gum out right now!"

"But we're not even in class!" protested Sam.

"It doesn't matter. You are here for punishment."

Sam stood up from her chair and glared at the horrible woman. "I did **not** tamper with that kid's chair!"

Ms. Briggs returned Sam's gaze with an angry stare. "Yes, you did! I am positive that you did! You should be acting like a mature, well-mannered young lady! Not some troublesome hooligan! Now spit out your gum and return to your seat!"

Sam continued staring down Ms. Briggs for a few seconds before she stomped over to the trash can, dropped the gum into the can, and stomped back to her chair. She crossed her arms over her chest in anger as she impatiently waited for her detention term to be over.

When she returned home from school, Sam headed straight for her room. She slammed the door behind her and flopped onto her bed. She grabbed her pillow, covered her face with it, and screamed as loud as she could. Thankfully, the pillow muffled her scream enough so her mother couldn't hear her.

When she was done screaming, she took her face off the pillow and laid the back of her head on it. This whole week had been terrible. She had been told left and right about what she should do and what she should not do. She was forced to give up some things that she loved such as her MMA stickers because they weren't allowed. She had been told how to act and how not to act. Sure, she had to deal with this before, but this week hit her pretty hard. She was sick of all of that. She needed a break from it or she would explode.

Sam sat up and took her phone out of her pocket. She selected a number from her contacts list and typed a text message into her phone. She read the message a couple of times to check for any mistakes. Once she was satisfied with the message, Sam hit the 'Send' button.

* * *

><p>At 6:45 the next morning, Sam arrived at the fire escape on the eighth floor of the Bushwell Plaza. She came to the apartment complex this early to avoid being seen. Thankfully, Lewbert's shift hadn't started yet, so Sam was able to walk through the lobby without the short-tempered doorman throwing a fit.<p>

There was nobody at the fire escape, so now she just had to sit and wait. Sam sat down on the concrete platform and leaned against the wall. She laid her head against the wall and closed her eyes. A cool, gentle breeze blew onto the fire escape and touched her face. It felt really nice. It reminded Sam of one particular night on the fire escape. A light breeze was blowing that night as Sam and Freddie sat on the fire escape, talking about first kisses. She had just apologized to him about telling the world that he had never had his first kiss and he forgave her. Then their conversation took an interesting turn when they suggested giving each other their first kiss. Even though she was the one who told him to lean, she was nervous too. At that moment, she was wondering what it would feel like to kiss her best frenemy. Would she be disgusted? Would it not feel like anything? Would she like it? As they leaned toward each other, she knew that she was about to find out.

Just when her favorite part was about to happen, Sam's thoughts were interrupted by a knocking sound. She opened her eyes and looked in the direction of the knocking. The subject of her thoughts was standing on the other side of the glass door looking at her. He smiled awkwardly and raised his eyebrows at her, as if asking her permission to join her on the fire escape. She waved her hand in a 'come on in' motion and moved her legs off the platform so he wouldn't step on her. He opened the glass door, stepped onto the fire escape, and shut the door.

"Hey Sam."

"Hey."

Freddie took a seat on the metal stairs. "I got your text from last night telling me to come here. So what's up?"

Sam smiled at him and got straight to the point. "I'm skipping school today."

Freddie jumped out of his seat. "YOU'RE WHAT?"

"Shhhhh! Keep it down!" said Sam through gritted teeth.

Freddie obliged to her request, but the shocked look on his face remained. "Why are you skipping school?"

"Because school bugs me."

"School always bugs you." Freddie stated matter-of-factly.

Sam nodded. "Yeah, but it's bugging me more than usual. Everyone at school is always telling me what I am supposed to do and how I am supposed to be."

"Nooooo, really? I had no idea people did that at school!" Freddie said sarcastically.

Sam ignored his sarcasm and continued on. "Also, I get my stuff taken away from me all the time and everyone points the blame at me even for things I didn't do and punishes me for it. That just totally blows! That, combined with the whole 'act like a proper lady and not like yourself' thing, is really getting on my nerves. I need a break from all that. So I'm skipping school today."

"But Sam! You can't just skip school! That's not what you're supposed to do!"

Sam frowned at him. "Don't talk like the teachers. That's exactly what I'm trying to get away from. I need a break from that."

"But the weekend is tomorrow! You could take a break then!"

Sam shook her head. "Not soon enough! I need this break now!"

"So you're just going to 'take a break' from school whenever you like?"

"No. Just for today. I'll go back to school on Monday. I'm not that bad of a person!"

Freddie felt a little relieved that Sam wasn't going to do this on a regular basis, but the thought of Sam skipping today still had him worried. "Still, you could get in big trouble for skipping! What if you get caught?"

Sam smirked. "I won't. Jameson High is still shut down from that chemistry lab incident yesterday, so its students will be out and about. The cops won't be able to distinguish us from the Jameson kids. Everything will be fine."

"Yeah, but you can't just…wait a minute. What do you mean 'us'"?

Sam smiled at him. "That's the reason why I texted you. You're coming with me."

If Freddie was not surprised before, then he definitely was now. "Wait, what?"

"I'll say it slower so you can understand. You're…coming…with…me. I was thinking we could go to the mall. There's plenty to do there."

"Sam, I am not going to skip school!"

Sam was unfazed by his outburst. "Why not?"

"Why not? Because it's wrong! I could get in trouble for it!"

"Ah, be a man. Or in your case, be a boy."

"Sam, it's bad enough that you are thinking of cutting school! Now you're trying to get me involved!"

"Well it would be more fun if someone went with me."

"And so you thought that you could just text me and Carly and get us to skip school?"

"I didn't text Carly."

Freddie looked at her with confusion. "You didn't? Why not?"

"Carly is too much of a goody two-shoes to skip school. She wouldn't have gone through with it. As for you, you're a bit more daring."

"What makes you say that?"

"Well, you spray painted that message on Principal Franklin's window once. You were willing to help me tear down the Petographers' studio. You played pranks on _me_ of all people. I hate to admit it, but you're becoming a bit of a bad boy."

A slight smile formed on Freddie's face. "Really?"

Sam nodded. "Really." Then the expression on her face became a slight glare. "If you tell anyone I said that, I'll break your fingers."

"Okay, I won't!" Freddie said quickly. "But still, I could get in trouble if I skip school! They would know that I'm gone."

Sam dismissed his comment with a wave of her hand. "Don't worry about that. I called the school receptionists pretending to be our moms and told them that we were too sick to go to school today."

Freddie gave her a look that told her he was not at all surprised by her ability to cover her bases. "You are devious. You know that?"

Sam grinned. "Yup, I am pretty awesome."

"But I'm still not cutting school."

The grin on Sam's face quickly vanished. "You're not?"

Freddie shook his head. "No Sam, I'm not. It's a bad idea and getting caught could have serious consequences. I am not going."

Sam looked at Freddie with no expression on her face for a few seconds. Then she spoke with barely any emotion in her voice. "Alright, that's fine. I understand. You don't have to skip school if you don't want to. I won't force you. I'll see you later." And with that, Sam opened the glass door, stepped into the hallway and walked off.

Freddie stood there for a few seconds, staring at the cement platform where Sam previously sat. His thoughts were racing through his head. If he skipped school, he would be breaking the school rules and could get in trouble. If he didn't skip, then he wouldn't have peace of mind because Sam was out there by herself. He knew that she could take care of herself, but he would still worry about her. That was just his nature. He did care about Sam and didn't want anything bad to happen to her.

Plus, Sam invited him to go with her. _Him!_ Nobody else! Not even Carly! He had to admit, that was pretty flattering. And she even called him a bad boy. It wasn't often that he got a compliment from Sam, but he knew that she had been sincere whenever she did give him one. Even though she didn't look upset, he knew that she was disappointed that he was not going with her.

So what was he going to do? Skip school and get in trouble with the faculty and his mother or not skip school and worry about Sam's well-being all day? Freddie sighed and let his shoulders slump down. "I'm going to regret this." Freddie stepped through the glass doorway into the hall and ran in the direction of the blonde. "Hey Sam, wait up!"

* * *

><p>The two frenemies arrived at the mall at around 8:00. It looked like today was a busy day at the mall. There were a lot of people here and about half of them were teenagers. Sam looked at Freddie with a smile on her face. "Told you the Jameson kids would be out and about."<p>

Freddie began to relax a little when he saw the high quantity of teens walking throughout the mall. "Yeah. With all these teens around here, maybe we can pull this off without getting caught."

"Exactly!"

"So where do you want to go first?"

"Food court."

Freddie rolled his eyes. "Of course." But he didn't object to going to the food court. It would make up for the cabbage omelet his mother made this morning. The two teens bought some pastries from Krusty Kreme. Then they sat down at one of the tables to eat and talk. They ranted to each other about school and discussed a few ideas for iCarly. In the middle of their conversation, Sam's phone began to ring. She looked at the phone and saw Carly's smiling face on the screen. She pressed the button and put the phone to her ear.

"Hey there Carls."

"Where are you? I've been looking everywhere for you and Freddie!"

"We're at the mall." Sam said bluntly.

Freddie almost choked on his donut when he heard her. "What are you doing?" he whispered.

Sam waved him off and focused her attention on her phone.

"YOU'RE WHAT? You guys are…..ugh! Hold on a second!"

Sam heard some shuffling noises and loud footsteps on the other line. She assumed this meant that Carly was looking for someplace more private to talk to her. After a minute of waiting, Sam heard Carly's voice again.

"Are you both out of your minds? You can't just skip school! You could get caught!"

"Relax Carls. We're fine. I would have invited you, but you would have said no."

"You're darn right I would have said no! What are you both thinking? You could get in big trouble for this!"

"No, we won't. As long as you don't say anything."

Sam could hear Carly grumbling a few angry nonsensical words. Sam puckered her lips in a pouty manner and spoke with a fake pouty voice. "Pweese Carwee."

Carly sighed. "Alright, I won't say anything. But I will be having a talk with you and Freddie about this after school."

Sam smiled. "Fair enough. See you later Carls."

"Bye."

Sam hung up the phone and looked at Freddie, who was still taken aback by her bluntness.

"How could you just tell her flat out where we were?"

"Carly's our best friend. Best friends don't rat each other out."

Freddie nodded. "Well, that's true."

"It sure is. Now let's go exploring." Sam got up from her chair and took her tray to the trash bin. Freddie stood up too and followed the blonde. They visited a few stores such as Cool Topic and GameGo. Then they hit the arcade. They played a few rounds of air hockey, dueled with each other on Prance Prance Revolution, and killed zombies together on Mansion of the Dead. After an hour of game-playing, the duo walked out of the arcade.

"So where do you want to go now?" Freddie asked Sam.

"Coal's."

"Ah man!"

"Come on, Frederella." Sam grabbed Freddie by his sleeve and pulled him toward her destination. For the next hour, Sam dragged Freddie from store to store looking at girls' clothes. Sam was having fun looking at the various clothing while Freddie was wishing that someone would shoot him in the head to relieve him of his boredom. Sam ended up not purchasing anything which did not help Freddie's mood.

"Let's go. There's someplace I want to go to." said Sam as she and Freddie walked out of the Bandana Republic.

Freddie shook his head. "Oh no! I am not going with you to another apparel store just to look around!"

"Aw, come on! They're having a sale today and I don't want to miss it. I'll actually be buying something this time."

"Forget it Sam! I am not going with you!" Freddie turned around and starting to walk away.

"You sure?" Sam called after him. "There'll be plenty of girls over there."

Freddie's ears perked up and he walked back to Sam. "Really?"

Sam smiled and nodded. "Oh yes. Plenty of pretty hot girls."

Freddie raised an eyebrow suspiciously. "You're not lying to me?"

"I'm not lying to you."

Freddie studied Sam's face for any signs of bluffing, but could find none. It appeared that Sam was telling the truth. "Alright, I'll go with you."

Sam brightened up. "Sweet! Let's go!" With that, she walked toward her place of interest. Freddie rushed over until he caught up with her. Sam looked at him and rolled her eyes. "Well, someone's eager to go now."

Freddie shrugged. "What can I say? You just gave me the opportunity to see some pretty hot girls, which is every guy's dream. This is the best thing you've ever done to me."

* * *

><p>"This is the worst thing you've ever done to me!" Freddie said through gritted teeth as he and Sam waited in line. "You tricked me!"<p>

"I don't know what you're talking about." said Sam with feigned innocence. "Besides, what are you complaining about? I told you there would be hot girls here."

"Yes, but you didn't tell me that we were going to Build-A-Bra!"

"Ah quit your whining and hold this bag."

Freddie grumbled as he took the bag from Sam. Build-A-Bra was a place where a girl could purchase custom-made bras. She could select features for the bra such as fabric, design, padding, and accessories. Then she can take her selections to the service counter where a Build-A-Bra employee would assist her in putting the bra together. It was a place where no guy would be caught dead in and yet here was Freddie Benson walking down its aisles. Although there were plenty of hot girls in the store, they were all pointing and giggling at Freddie. For the first time in his life, Freddie did not want to be the center of a girl's attention. Every time a girl saw him, he would try to hide his face.

Freddie and Sam had just spent 30 minutes in Build-A-Bra looking at everything the store had to offer. Sam planned on purchasing four bras since today Build-A-Bra was having a sale of getting two bras for the price of one. She had chosen her designs for all four bras and a large number of accessories which included a processor chip that was programmed to play the song "Bad to the Bone." Freddie could not believe that the store put music chips in the bras, but the girls apparently thought this feature was cool.

"Can I help the next person?" called the female employee at the service counter. Sam and Freddie walked to the service counter and set down the bags on the countertop.

"Hi there!" greeted the employee.

"Hi." said Sam.

"Hey." said an unenthusiastic Freddie.

"How many bras would you like to make?" asked the employee.

"Four." said Sam. "For the first one, I want this design on it." Sam handed the employee a patch of cloth that had pictures of bacon and eggs on it.

"Okay then, what would you like to name this bra?" asked the employee.

Freddie looked at the employee in utter disbelief. "Wait a minute! You give them names?"

"Yes. Our customers have the option of giving their bras names and we will print out the name on the bra."

Freddie threw his hands in the air. "I don't believe this!"

A very amused Sam shifted her gaze off her male companion and looked back at the employee. "No thanks. I don't want any names on them."

The employee nodded. "Okay then. What else would you like on this bra?"

Freddie leaned against the countertop and rested his forehead in his hands, using his thumbs to massage his temples. He silently grumbled to himself as he listened to Sam telling the employee how she wanted each bra customized. It made him very uncomfortable and he was fighting really hard to keep the blush from forming on his face.

"…and that's all for that one." said Sam pointing to the fourth bra. Freddie internally sighed in relief. It was finally over. All that talk about bras and the weird ways to make them was embarrassing. He didn't know how it could get any worse.

"Alright." said the employee to Sam. "Now before I can start customizing your bras, I need to know your bra size."

Freddie's head shot up from his hands and his eyes nearly bugged out of his head. She needed to know Sam's **WHAT**? Freddie quickly spoke up before Sam could say anything. "Okay, that's it! I'm waiting outside!" Then he ran out of the store as fast as he could, not caring who was staring at him. He just had to get away from there. Sam, the employee, and practically everyone in the store stared at the doorway where the fleeing boy had just exited.

"What's his problem?" asked the employee.

Sam shook her head. "He's a dork. That's what his problem is."

* * *

><p>Freddie leaned against the railing just outside of the dreaded store. He was passing the time by looking down at the people on the lower floor. After a while, that got boring so his mind began to wonder. His thoughts went back to the incident at Build-A-Bra. Looking at all the weird brassiere accessories and hearing the giggles and whispers of the other girls at his expense was bad enough. But the fact that he almost found out Sam's bra size was what really took the cake. Why did that employee have to flat out ask for Sam's bra size right in front of him? The last thing he needed to know was the size of Sam's…Whoa, don't think about that! Think about something else! Let's see…laptops, Galaxy Wars, fencing, Spencer in a dress! Okay, he felt better now. Freddie sighed. This had been a really weird day and he hoped to get through the rest of the day without any more incidents.<p>

"You do know that I have the right to take away your man card now, don't you?" asked a voice from behind him.

Freddie turned around to face the owner of the voice. "Sam, going in that place was pure torture for me!" He pushed himself off of the railing and walked alongside the blonde.

"You've been to Build-A-Bra before. You should be used to it by now."

"Okay first off, no guy **ever** gets used to it! Secondly, I've never stayed in the store long enough to be in the service line! I had no idea they asked for your bra size!"

"They have to. Otherwise, the bras wouldn't fit."

"But still, it's embarrassing for me!"

Sam looked at him with frustration. "Stop being a wimp! You're getting worked up over nothing! I don't care whether or not you know my bra size. We're friends and we can tell things to each other. This shouldn't be a big deal for you since you know about my 'I heart Las Vegas' underwear."

Freddie stopped in his tracks and his eyes widened. "Oh God!"

Sam stopped with him. "Why are you freaking out about that too? You're the one who brought it up back in Japan!"

"No, not that! It's my mom!" said Freddie pointing in front of him.

Sam looked to where Freddie was pointing and her eyes went big as well. Marissa Benson had just walked out of American Falcon which was two stores away from where Freddie and Sam stood and was looking around her, trying to decide where to go next. Then she started turning her head in their direction.

"Come on!" Sam grabbed Freddie by the wrist and quickly pulled him into the nearest store, which was Gracie's. They made it into the store without Marissa seeing them and hid behind one of the clothing racks.

"What in the name of bacon is she doing here?" Sam whispered.

"She's not working at the hospital today. She must be here looking for a gift for my Aunt Jennifer. I remember her telling me the other day that my aunt's birthday was coming up."

The two teens peered over the clothing rack, their eyes on the store's entrance.

"Oh crap! She's coming in here!" said Freddie. Sure enough, Marissa walked into Gracie's. Judging by the look on her face, it appeared that she didn't see them. However, she was very close to where Sam and Freddie were and could spot them easily if she came any closer. Freddie began to sweat. "What do we do?"

Sam grabbed a couple of caps from the display wall and held one out to Freddie. "Put this on and act casual! Any sudden movements will draw her attention to us."

Freddie nodded and slipped the cap on his head. Sam put on hers and lowered the flap to conceal her face. She pulled down Freddie's too. They slowly stood up and pretended to look at clothes. All the while, they kept an eye on Marissa. The older Benson looked at a few clothing racks of women's tops and seemed dissatisfied with the assortment. Then she started walking toward where Sam and Freddie were.

"Let's go." Sam whispered. The duo walked away from Marissa, hoping that if they walked far enough into the store, they would lose her. They passed the women's dress wear section and made it to women's shoes before Sam snuck a peek behind her. Marissa was nowhere to be seen. "Okay, we lost her." She and Freddie stopped where they were.

Freddie let out a deep breath. "Man that was close!"

"I'll say. I never thought getting caught by your mom would be this scary."

"So now what?"

"We have to try to-"

"Finding everything okay?" said a new voice beside them.

The two teens turned around to see a Gracie's employee smiling at them.

"Uh, yes thank you." answered Freddie.

"Is there anything I can help you with?"

"Uh, no thanks. We're fine."

"Today, we are having a sale where you can get 20% off on all men's wear and-"

"Alright, look here!" said Sam with clear irritation in her voice. "We don't need any help from you or anybody here!"

The employee took a step back, a little afraid of the angry blonde. "Uh…I'm sorry. I was just trying to-"

"Well, we're fine, so get out of my sight before I break something of yours!"

The scared employee turned around and ran away from them. Freddie looked at Sam with disapproval. "You didn't have to snap at her like that!"

"Well, she wouldn't leave us alone so I had to make her. Right now, we've got to get out of here before your crazy mother sees us!"

Freddie didn't argue any further. They walked out of the shoe section and were entering women's dress wear when they stopped cold. Marissa Benson was in women's dress wear looking at clothes. Her back was toward the teens, so she didn't see them. Unfortunately, she was close to the walkway and would see them if they walked down it. They had split seconds to act before she came their way and it was too late to turn back.

"Hide!" whispered Sam. She and Freddie ran to separate circular clothing racks and hid in them, just in time before the unaware mother looked in their direction. Now they just had to wait for Marissa to leave the area. The two teens peeked through the dresses. Marissa was walking down the walkway toward their position. Luckily, the dresses on the clothing racks touched the floor so Marissa would not be able to see Freddie or Sam's feet. Marissa walked past Sam's clothing rack without so much as a glance. She was just about to walk past Freddie when she stopped. She looked at the dresses on Freddie's clothing rack with interest and walked right up to it to look through the assortment.

Freddie was frozen with fear and his breath caught in his throat. Marissa flipped through dress after dress to see if she could find anything that she liked. If she pushed the dresses apart far enough, she would surely see Freddie and he would be grounded until he was fifty. Sam's heart beat rapidly and her skin formed goose bumps as she watched Marissa sift through Freddie's clothing rack. There was no way she could help Freddie without getting them both caught. All she could do was cross her fingers and hope for the situation to work in their favor.

After about 30 seconds of looking at the dresses, Marissa lost interest and walked down the walkway. The two teens waited until she was out of sight. Sam and Freddie let out the breath that they both were holding and stepped out of the clothing racks.

"Let's get out of here." said Freddie.

"Right behind you, Fredwad."

The two teens walked toward the exit while keeping an eye out for Freddie's mother. Just before they walked through the exit, they tossed the hats they were wearing to the side. They took a few steps out of the store before they started running. They wanted to get away from the store as fast as possible.

* * *

><p>Marissa was back in the casual wear section, hoping that a second look there would help her find a suitable gift for Jennifer. She was looking at a few blouses when she saw something in her peripheral vision. She looked out the store's window and saw two teenagers running past the window. She only saw them for a split second before they reached the store's wall, which blocked them from her view. She didn't clearly see who they were, but they looked extremely familiar.<p>

Marissa's eyebrows furrowed. Were they who she thought they were? Was that really her precious Freddie and his trouble-causing friend Sam who just ran past the window? Her son? Here at the mall? ON A SCHOOL DAY? No, it couldn't be! But that pair looked like them. She just had to make sure that she didn't just see her sweet, innocent boy run past her.

She pulled out her cell phone and dialed Freddie's number. Apparently, his phone was off because all she got was his voicemail. Unfortunately for her, she couldn't use the chip in his head to pinpoint his current location. She was still waiting for the new tracking remote to come in the mail. She had to order a new one since the last one caught fire. She could not for the life of her understand how the remote caught fire. It was made to be fireproof! It happened a few days ago when she was walking to her apartment. She said hello to Spencer who was walking past her toward the elevator when all of a sudden the tracking remote burst into flames in her purse. She would have to complain to the manufacturers if that happens to her new remote.

But that was not important right now. What was important was Freddie. His phone was off, which made Marissa a bit suspicious. Not to mention, Sam was his friend. Marissa knew about Sam's felonious history and she was the type of person who could persuade Freddie to do things, even skip school. If Freddie did indeed skip school, then he was in serious trouble! Marissa walked out of the store in a very grim mood.

* * *

><p>After nearly getting caught by Freddie's mom, the duo did not want to be anywhere near the mall. So they drove to the park, which was a good distance away from the mall. They had just purchased hotdogs from one of the food vendors at the park and were now walking down one of the many pathways of the park and chatting.<p>

"I still can't believe we got out of there without her seeing us." said Freddie.

"Yeah, no chizz! I almost thought you were a goner." said Sam between bites of her hotdog.

"I sure would have. She wouldn't have let me out of the apartment for a long time."

"Yeah, then who would be my punching bag while you were under house arrest?"

"Hey!"

"Just kidding."

Before long, Sam and Freddie were in the center of the park, which was home to a big and beautiful fountain. In its center, there was a statue of a woman holding a giant lily pad over her head. The water was flowing over the edge of the lily pad and falling into the basin of the fountain. It was quite a sight to behold.

Freddie looked at the fountain, then at Sam. "You want to go sit by the fountain?"

"Yeah, sure."

They walked over to the fountain and sat down at the fountain's edge. Sam sighed happily. "Whew! I'm so glad to be sitting down. My feet are hurting from all that walking and running at the mall."

"Yeah, mine too." Freddie agreed.

Sam took a quick look at the fountain behind her. Then she looked at Freddie and began to smirk. "Hey Frederick, you know what?"

Freddie looked at Sam with curiosity. "What?"

Suddenly, Sam pushed Freddie into the fountain. He hit the water with a huge splash. Sam buckled over in laughter and pointed at the soaked boy as he resurfaced from the water. Sam was so caught up in her laughter that she didn't see the small mischievous smirk on Freddie's face. Before she knew it, Freddie pulled her into the water.

Freddie pumped both of his fists into the air with glee. "Ha ha! How do you like that?" He smiled at Sam as she stood up from the water, her wet hair covering to her face. His smile vanished when she parted her hair from her face and revealed her evil smirk. Freddie nervously took a step backward. "Sam, don't even think about-."

Sam let out a yell and jumped on the frightened nerd, knocking him into the water. When they resurfaced, Freddie quickly pushed her off him and starting splashing water in her direction. Sam immediately retaliated. The two teens got into a playful battle, splashing water on each other and laughing as they did so. About 30 seconds into the battle, Sam tried to scoop up a lot of water and launch it at Freddie. As she did this, her foot slipped and she fell against Freddie. The male brunette managed to catch her in his arms, but lost his footing as well. He landed on his butt, his back hitting against the part of the fountain where they were previously sitting. Sam landed in his lap, cushioning her fall. Luckily, Freddie wasn't hurt by the fall, but he was concerned about Sam's wellbeing.

"Sam, are you-?" But he didn't need to ask his question because Sam started laughing. He quickly joined her in her laughter.

"Dude that was awesome!" said Sam once she stopped laughing.

Freddie smiled. "I second that!"

As both of their laughter died down, Sam became aware of their position. Freddie was sitting on the fountain floor and leaning his back against the fountain wall. She was sitting in his lap with her back leaning against his chest. His arms were wrapped gently around her belly and his chin was resting on her left shoulder, his cheek barely touching hers.

This made Sam feel very…comfortable. She felt like she didn't want to be anywhere else but where she was right now. A barely visible smile formed on her lips and she closed her eyes, savoring this very moment. She wanted this moment to last forever.

Unfortunately, it didn't because Freddie started to release his hold on Sam. "I guess we better get out of the fountain."

As much as she wanted to ask him if they could stay like this for a little longer, she didn't. She knew that things would get awkward if she did ask. "Yeah, I guess we better."

She and Freddie stood up and stepped out of the fountain. He started squeezing the water out of his shirt while she wrung the water out of her hair. About a minute later, they got out all the water they could get out in their current situation.

Freddie shook the remaining water droplets from his hands. "Ready to go?"

Sam tossed her hair back over her shoulder. "Yeah, I'm ready."

* * *

><p>It was 3:30 by the time they arrived at Bushwell Plaza. Lewbert was in his office so they managed to slip into the elevator without any incident. Neither teen spoke as the elevator made its journey up the building. Sam snuck a peek at Freddie. He was watching the number on the elevator screen increase with each floor that they passed. Just before they reached the eighth floor, Sam spoke. "Hey."<p>

Freddie took his eyes off the screen and looked at her. "Yes?"

Sam smiled at him. "Thanks for skipping school with me."

Freddie smiled back. "You're welcome."

The elevator doors opened to reveal the eighth floor and the two teens walked toward 8-C. Just as they turned the corner, they were surprised to see none other than Mrs. Benson standing in front of 8-D with her arms crossed.

"Fredward Benson!"

A chill ran down Freddie's spine when he heard how much intensity his mother put into saying his name. "Uh, yes Mom?"

"You and Sam come over here."

The blonde and brunette hesitantly walked toward the intimidating woman. When they were right in front of her, Marissa started speaking. "I was at the mall today and I could have sworn that I saw you two at the mall on a school day. Now I am going to ask you a question and you better give me the honest truth. Did you skip school today?"

Sam quickly answered. "No, we didn't."

Marissa narrowed her eyes. "I don't completely trust you Sam, so I'm going to need Freddie's answer." Her gaze shifted to her son. "Freddie, did you and Sam skip school?"

Freddie looked at his mother nervously, his mind going numb. He wanted to say that they didn't skip school, but his fear of his mother suspecting him and the pressure of being put on the spot was keeping him from saying the words. He knew he had to answer quickly or his mother would think he is guilty, but the words were not coming out.

"They were at school with me." said a voice from down the hall. Sam and the two Bensons looked down the hall and saw a smiling Carly Shay walking toward them.

"They were?" asked Marissa.

Carly nodded. "Yes, they were. Your son would never skip school and Sam may be troublesome sometimes, but she didn't skip either. We were all at Ridgeway all day."

Marissa took Carly's words into account. Sam may be a liar, but Carly wouldn't lie to her. She was a straight-A student and stuck to the rules. Therefore, Carly is telling the truth and her beloved son did not skip school after all. Marissa looked from Carly to the two teens in front of her and smiled. "Okay. I believe you. I'm sorry for suspecting you both."

Relieved that they were in the clear, Freddie finally regained the ability to talk again. "It's okay Mom."

"Come here Freddie." Marissa opened her arms out to her son. Freddie walked to her and gave her a hug. Marissa quickly let him go. "Why are your clothes so damp?"

Freddie's eyes widened. Oh crap. What would he tell her? "Uh…"

Carly stepped in for him. "He and Sam decided to have a race through the sprinklers in the football field. I'm not sure why, but they just did."

A little taken aback by Carly's ability to come up with a story on the fly, Sam stepped in. "Uh, yeah. We did. We just thought it would be fun."

Marissa looked at her son with slight disapproval. "You know you shouldn't do that. You could catch pneumonia."

Freddie turned red with embarrassment. "I'm fine Mom. Really! My clothes are almost completely dry, so you don't have to worry. I just want to hang out at Carly's for a bit if that's okay with you. I'll be alright."

Marissa was about to protest, but stopped herself. Ever since Freddie moved out that one day, she had been trying to let Freddie have a little more freedom in making his own decisions. Sure, she still set some rules for him, but laying off just a little bit wouldn't hurt. "Alright, but be home by 6:30 for dinner."

Freddie nodded. "Okay Mom."

"See you all later." she said as she walked back into her apartment.

"Bye Mom."

"Bye Mrs. Benson."

"Yeah, whatever."

As soon as the door to Apartment 8-D closed, Freddie and Sam breathed a sigh of relief. They turned to Carly, who was unlocking the door to her apartment.

"Thanks for covering for us Carls!" said Sam with a smile on her face.

"Yeah, we owe you one." said Freddie, also smiling.

Carly opened the door and then turned to look at her two best friends. The dark look on Carly's face made Sam and Freddie's smiles quickly disappear.

"Both of you! My room! Now!" Carly pointed straight in the direction of the stairwell. Not wanting to anger the female brunette any further, Sam and Freddie walked through the apartment doorway with their heads down. Carly walked in after them and slammed the door behind her.

* * *

><p><strong>AN: That's the end of Chapter 9. I hope you enjoyed it!<strong>

**Just to let you know, the next chapter of **_**My Life is a Song**_** will be its last. I feel sad about that, but I also feel that it is time for the story to come to its conclusion. I have some of the final chapter written, so hopefully I will have it done and uploaded soon.**

**Wow! This chapter has so many parodies in it! Since there are a lot of them, I am only going to list the parodies that are not mentioned on the show.**

**The stores **_**Cool Topic**_** and **_**GameGo**_** are parodies of **_**Hot Topic**_** and **_**GameStop**_**.**

**The games **_**Prance Prance Revolution**_** and **_**Mansion of the Dead**_** are parodies of **_**Dance Dance Revolution **_**and **_**House of the Dead**_**.**

**You've probably already guessed that the stores **_**Coal's**_**, **_**American Falcon**_**, and **_**Gracie's**_** are parodies of **_**Kohl's**_**, **_**American Eagle**_**, and **_**Macy's**_**. If you did, good job!**

**Well, that's all for now. Have a good morning or a good night or whatever time it is for you right now.**


	10. I Was Made For You

**Hi everyone! It's been a long time, but it is finally here. The final chapter of **_**My Life is a Song**_**. Since this is the final chapter of this story, I will reveal the song for this chapter's title in my author's note at the bottom of this page. If you have been guessing the songs throughout this story, this is your last chance to guess the song. I hope you had fun guessing the song for each chapter title. Speaking of the chapter titles, the lyric from Chapter 9 is from **_**Fat Lip**_** by Sum 41. Alright, let's begin the chapter!**

**Disclaimer: I do not own iCarly or any of the songs referenced.**

Chapter 10

I Was Made for You

The students of Ridgeway were getting excited. Even though it was Monday and the start of another week of school, they were still getting excited. They were looking forward to Friday more than usual. Some students have kept mum about it while others talked about it with their friends. They talked about what they planned to do on Friday or what they hoped would happen on that day.

What made this particular Friday so special? It was Valentine's Day.

For the first half of February, Ridgeway was preparing for Valentine's Day. The classrooms and hallways were decorated with pictures of hearts and Cupids. Flyers were posted around the campus advertising about valentine grams that one could purchase and have delivered to their "special someone" on Valentine's Day. There was even a Valentine's Day dance that would take place in the Ridgeway gymnasium.

When the school bell rang, Freddie stepped out of his classroom along with the other students in his class. He walked straight to his friends' lockers where Carly and Sam were talking. "Hola muchachas," said Freddie as soon as he was within proximity of the girls. Carly and Sam looked at him and returned his greeting.

"Hi Freddie."

"Hey Fredhead."

"What are you two talking about?"

"Nothing much. Just some Valentine's Day stuff." Carly answered.

"Ah," said Freddie with a nod. He knew very well how the girls felt about Valentine's Day. Carly loved Valentine's Day. She was a sucker for romance and she loved having a day in the year that celebrated it. She liked the idea of giving love-themed gifts as well as receiving them. She also liked how it gave couples the chance to go to special dinners and romantic events. To her, Valentine's Day was a way of telling your friends, and more importantly your significant other, how much you care for them.

Sam, on the other hand, hated Valentine's Day. It was a day full of lovey-dovey couples and mushiness and all that chizz. It was an excuse for those couples to act all sappy and to go all P.D.A. on each other in front of everybody. It was just gross and it made Sam want to either gag or throw something at them.

"So what will you two be doing for Valentine's Day?" asked Freddie.

Carly smiled. "Well, Steven and I will be going to the Old Ravioli Factory for dinner. Then we'll be going to the Valentine's Day dance here." Carly was especially excited for this year's Valentine's Day. The reason was because this time she had a boyfriend to spend it with. His name was Steven Carson. Carly met him at a roller rink. She crashed right into him while trying out roller skating for the first time. She apologized to him and he forgave her. They spent the next two hours talking and laughing and him teaching her how to skate. Before leaving the rink, Steven asked Carly out on a date and she gladly accepted. He and Carly had been dating for two and a half months. Carly was glad that she would be able to spend Valentine's Day with Steven before he had to go back to his dad's house in Los Angeles.

"Oh cool! I'm thinking of going to the dance too," said Freddie.

"Oh yeah? Are you going with anyone?" asked Carly.

"Yeah. Allison Hemingway asked me."

"Wow, she must really be desperate if she asked **you** of all people to go." said Sam.

Freddie frowned at her. "Ha ha, very funny Sam!"

Sam smirked. "Oh you know it's funny."

Freddie didn't feel like arguing with Sam at the moment, so he changed the subject. "So are you going to the dance too?"

Sam shook her head. "Nope."

"What will you be doing then?"

"Sitting in front of the TV like a couch potato and enjoying some movies with a bunch of snacks."

Freddie raised an eyebrow. "Again?"

Sam smiled with pride. "Yup, again."

Carly sighed with frustration. "Sam, you do this every year! You've got to do **something** for Valentine's Day!"

Sam looked at the female brunette. "No I don't. No one can make me do anything for the sake of Valentine's Day."

"True, but you can still at least do something other than watch TV at my apartment. Why don't you just go to the dance with a guy for the fun of it? You know, you don't have to wait for a guy to ask you. You can go ask a guy to be your date."

"Carls, I don't want to ask a guy to the dance. If a guy wants to go to the dance with me, he should ask me himself. Not that I'd go with him, but still."

"Oh come on Sam. Aren't there any guys here at Ridgeway that you would like to go to the dance with?"

Sam shook her head. "No. All the guys here make me sick."

"Okay, you don't have to bring a date. You can still go to the dance and hang out with us."

"Thanks Carls, but no thanks. I don't really feel like going to the dance. Besides, you might have more fun if it was just you and Steven."

Freddie chose to step into the conversation. "Look Sam. I know you hate Valentine's Day, but that doesn't mean you should just stay indoors while Carly and I are at the dance."

Sam stepped toward him until she was a few inches in front of his face, making the glare on her face even more imposing. "Let me make this clear to you. I am **not** going!"

Freddie took a step back, feeling a little intimidated by the blonde. "Okay, okay! I won't ask you about it anymore."

Sam smiled in satisfaction. "Thank you."

"But the dance is four days away," said Carly. "So you still have time to change your mind."

Sam threw a slightly annoyed gaze in Carly's direction. "Believe me Carls, I won't."

Before Carly could say anything more, a loud gurgling sound interrupted the conversation. Sam patted her belly. "Let's go get lunch. Mama's hungry." Carly and Freddie nodded their heads and the three friends started walking toward the cafeteria.

* * *

><p>Everybody spent the next few days preparing for Friday. Carly, with the help of Sam, went to the mall to search for her dress for the dance. They managed to find a cute cherry-red, spaghetti strap, cocktail dress that fit Carly perfectly. Freddie got his hair cut and purchased a corsage for his date. Sam bought a bunch of snacks and selected DVDs from her and Carly's movie collection that she would be watching. Carly continued trying to persuade Sam to go with them to the dance, but Sam kept refusing.<p>

When Friday finally came, Ridgeway was filled with Valentine activity. Valentine grams were being delivered in classrooms. There was a Valentine-themed bake sale taking place in the cafeteria. Even Ms. Briggs did a Valentine's Day performance with her bagpipes, which nobody really listened to.

The iCarly trio gave each other their Valentine gifts. Carly gave Freddie and Sam homemade goodie bags with their favorite snacks in them. Freddie gave Carly a heart made of solid chocolate and Sam a heart made of bacon. Sam drew Valentine-themed pictures for Carly and Freddie. Her picture for Carly showed Carly and Steven in a rowboat with Steven paddling the oars and a giant heart in the background. Her picture for Freddie showed a Cupid-winged Sam using Cupid's bow to shoot at Freddie with arrows that looked really sharp and Freddie fleeing in terror.

At 6:30pm, Sam was setting up her snacks and movie collection on the Shays' coffee table. Carly was upstairs getting ready for her date. Steven would be arriving in a few moments to pick her up. Just as Sam set down her bowl of popcorn on the table, Spencer walked out of his room wearing a dress shirt and a pair of slacks.

"Hey Sam," greeted Spencer.

"Hey Spencer. Ready for your date?"

"Oh yeah! It's going to be great!"

"Where are you going?"

Spencer straightened his collar as he spoke. "Socko and I are taking our dates to the SkyCity restaurant."

Sam looked at him with surprise. "You're going to be eating at the Space Needle? How did you pull that off? I thought you had to make reservations a few months in advance!"

Spencer smiled. "One of Socko's sisters is married to one of the restaurant's chefs. So Socko went to see her at the paper company that she works at and talked to her about it. She and her husband pulled a few strings and got us the reservations."

"Dude, that's awesome! Which sister was this?"

"Paige."

"Ah, I see."

Their conversation was interrupted by a knock on the door. Spencer walked to the door and opened it. It was Steven.

"Hi Spencer. Hi Sam."

Spencer nodded. "Hey Steven."

Sam waved at him. "Sup."

"Is Carly ready?"

A voice from upstairs called out to him. "Yes, I'm ready." Everyone looked up the stairwell. Carly walked down the stairs in her cocktail dress, looking very glamorous. She smiled at her boyfriend. "Hi there."

Steven stared at Carly in awe. "Hi. Wow, you look gorgeous."

Carly's cheeks began to turn pink. "Why, thank you. You look pretty dashing yourself."

"Thank you. Shall we go?"

"Oh yes we shall." Carly said with a giggle.

Spencer held the door open for the couple. "Okay, you two. Have fun."

Carly and Steven started to walk toward the door. Before they made it past the doorway, Spencer put his hand on Carly's shoulder. Carly stopped and looked at her older brother. Spencer leaned toward Carly to whisper. "Don't forget. I'm on speed dial if he tries anything."

Carly rolled her eyes at him. "Yes Spencer, I know. See you later."

The couple walked out the door and down the hall to the elevator. Just as Spencer shut the door, his phone began to vibrate. He took his phone out of his pocket and looked at the screen. Sam looked at the older Shay sibling. "What's up?"

"Socko just sent me a message to let me know he is here. We're going to go pick up our dates. You're sure you'll be alright here?"

"Yeah, I'll be fine. Go have fun."

"Alright then! See you later!"

"Later Spencer."

The excited man rushed out the door, closing it behind him. As soon as he was gone, Sam hit the "on" button on the TV remote. While the TV was warming up, Sam looked through her DVD collection to decide which one she would play first. In the middle of her browsing, the TV screen finally lit up. It was on a commercial from the Bananabee's restaurant.

"Come on down to Bananabee's to celebrate Valentine's Day. We will be offering couples a steak dinner-for-two for only $10.99! So bring that special someone and-"

Sam grumbled at the commercial, changed the channel, and went back to her browsing. Unfortunately, another Valentine's commercial was playing on this channel. Sam picked up the remote again and angrily hit the "channel" button a few times, only to see more Valentine's commercials. Frustrated, Sam just picked up a random DVD and popped it into the player which cut off the commercials by showing a black DVD screen. Sam sighed in relief and sat back down on the couch, glad to be rid of the stupid commercials.

Normally, the Valentine's commercials didn't bother Sam. She would have just rolled her eyes and ignored it. But this year, Sam really hated Valentine's Day. Lately, she had another reason to hate the event. For the past six months she had been getting these weird feelings. She always got these feelings whenever she was hanging out with a certain nerdy, Galaxy Wars-loving tech producer.

Freddie brought out all kinds of feelings from Sam. For the longest time, those feelings were that of hatred. She had always felt that toward him. As time went by and their friendship grew, she developed feelings of tolerance toward him and then eventually feelings of acceptance. She still felt hatred for him, but they were at the point in their relationship where she could call him a best friend.

But now Sam had developed these new weird feelings for Freddie. They were feelings of attraction. Sure, she has felt attraction for some boys before, but her feelings for them were nothing like her feelings toward the nub. These feelings felt deeper, more meaningful. Almost as if she was in…

…no, she couldn't be! Could she? Could she really be in love with him?

No, she can't! She can't allow herself to be in love with him! She hated him and he hated her. It took them a long time to like each other. If Freddie knew about these new feelings she was having, things would get awkward very quickly. It could destroy the friendship that they had worked so hard to build. They had a good thing going for them right now, so why ruin it by telling him about how she felt? It's not like he felt the same thing for her.

So that's why she hated Valentine's Day more than ever. It served as a reminder that she wanted who she couldn't have. That was also why she didn't want to go to the dance at Ridgeway. It was not that Sam didn't like going to dances. She didn't mind dances at all. It was this particular dance that she didn't want to go to. The reason was not only because of the Valentine theme, but also because Freddie would be there with Allison. If Sam went to the dance, she would see him talking with Allison, dancing with her, maybe even kissing her. Sam did not think she would be able to stand it.

Sam quickly shook those thoughts from her head. She did not want to think about it anymore. Right now, she just wanted to enjoy her movies and her snacks. So she sat back and watched the movie while occasionally sipping some Peppy Cola and tossing a popcorn kernel into her mouth.

About an hour later, Sam heard a knock on the door. She looked at the door in confusion and then looked at the clock on the wall. It was only 7:45. It was too early for either Carly or Spencer to be back from their dates. Then again, they wouldn't be knocking since they have keys. So who was knocking on the door?

Sam got up from the couch and walked over to the door. She looked through the peek hole and her eyes widened. Freddie was standing outside the door, shifting his weight back and forth as he waited for the door to be answered. Sam recovered from her shock and opened the door.

Freddie smiled at her. "Hey Sam."

Sam stared at the boy with confusion. "Uh…hey."

"Can I come in?"

Sam hesitated for a few seconds before answering him. "Sure." She walked back to the couch. Freddie entered the apartment and closed the door. Sam looked at Freddie as she sat down. "What are you doing here? I thought you were going to the dance with Allison."

"I was, but Allison just called me and told me she was too sick to go to the dance. So I'm not going."

"Well, you could still go with Carly and Steven."

"Nah, I don't really feel like being the third wheel."

Sam nodded in understanding. "I hear ya. Being the third wheel really sucks."

Freddie took a seat on the couch and looked at the TV. "So what are you watching?"

"Fred: The Movie."

Freddie made a face. ""Ugh! Not him again!"

Sam threw a handful of popcorn at Freddie. "Don't go knocking on Fred. He is funny, unlike you."

Freddie glared at the blonde. "Hey, I'm funny too!"

"Yeah! Funny _looking_!"

Freddie rolled his eyes at her. "Whatever." As a form of revenge and also because he was kind of hungry, Freddie stole a handful of popcorn from Sam's bowl and put it in his mouth.

"Hey! Keep your paws off Mama's popcorn!"

"Make me!" Freddie sneered as he snatched another handful. In less than three seconds, Freddie was lying facedown on the couch with Sam on his back twisting his arm behind him. "OKAY! OKAY! I'M SORRY!" he yelled.

Sam leaned her head toward him to whisper in his ear. "Good boy." She released his arm and returned to her side of the couch. Freddie sat back up and stretched his arm to ease the pain. Then he focused his concentration on the TV. The movie was on the part where Fred Figglehorn was preparing for his fake party with the help of his female next-door neighbor.

"Who's the girl?" asked Freddie.

"That's Bertha." said Sam as she tossed a popcorn kernel in her mouth. "She's a friend of Fred's."

Freddie leaned toward the TV screen as he looked closely at Bertha. "Is it me or does Bertha look just like you?"

Sam's ears perked up at his sentence and she turned to look at him. "Yes, she totally does! I've been thinking that myself."

"That is just weird."

Sam nodded. "Not to mention creepy. That girl has my face."

Both teenagers looked back at the screen, feeling a bit unsettled by Sam's on-screen doppelganger. After a moment of silence, Freddie spoke up. "Movie makeup."

Sam looked at him with confusion. "Huh?"

"Maybe it's just movie makeup that's making her look like you. Without it, she probably looks different."

Sam let his words sink in. "You know, you're probably right. That would definitely explain it. Good thinking Freddie."

Freddie smiled at her, appreciating the compliment she just gave him. He chose not to mention it in case Sam decided to take it back. Instead he just turned his attention back to the TV. After a few minutes of watching the movie, Freddie let out a bored sigh.

"I don't really want to watch this anymore. What else do you have?" Not waiting for an answer, Freddie picked up the set of DVD's on the coffee table and looked through them. "We've already seen all of these movies. Don't you get bored watching the same thing again?"

Sam shrugged. "A little, but what else do I have to do?"

Freddie walked over to the TV and kneeled over the video game console sitting beside it. "Well, the S-Box is connected to the TV. You want to play a few rounds of Call of Duty with me?" Freddie picked up a controller and held it out to Sam.

Sam's eyes shifted between Freddie and the controller a couple of times before she answered. "Yeah, okay."

* * *

><p>"Alright! Headshot!" Sam yelled as she pumped her fist in the air.<p>

Freddie stared in disbelief at his fallen soldier and then at the blonde next to him. "Sam, what are you doing? I'm on **your** team!"

Sam smirked at him. "No Call of Duty match is complete without me shooting you."

"Oh yeah? Well then how do you like this?" Freddie's soldier aimed his assault rifle at Sam's soldier's head and opened fire. Sam's soldier fell to the ground in a bloody mess.

"Yeah! In your face!" cheered Freddie.

"Oh that's it! You are so dead, Benson!" As soon as Sam's soldier re-spawned, she picked up a shotgun and unloaded two shells into Freddie's soldier. After Freddie's soldier re-spawned, he tossed a throwing knife straight into Sam's soldier's back.

Sam turned to look at Freddie with narrowed eyes while the male brunette returned her gaze. "This is war, nub." said Sam in a low voice.

"Bring it!" challenged Freddie in an equally-low voice.

For the next seven minutes, both players were killing each other left and right. Each player would cheer and taunt whenever they won and yell and complain if they lost. Sam and Freddie were so engrossed in their battle with each other that they did not even hear or pay any attention to the other players of the game.

"Uh, you guys do know that we're still playing right?"

"**Dude, keep it down! These two are funny as hell."**

"_Yeah, I'm having more fun watching and listening to these two than playing this game."_

"My money's on the chick. She's going to totally own him."

Although Sam and Freddie could continue their fighting for a long time, the round was nearing its end. With ten seconds left in the round, Sam and Freddie's soldiers were at a face-off. Sam's soldier was armed with two grenades and a submachine gun and Freddie's was holding an RPG launcher. Both were determined to have the last laugh, but had to act fast with time running out. Sam's soldier threw the first grenade. Freddie's soldier ran to the side to avoid the explosive. Then Sam's soldier threw the second grenade in Freddie's soldier's path and quickly began firing the submachine gun. At the same time, Freddie's soldier aimed the RPG launcher while he was running and fired. Sam's soldier managed to run behind a wall before the RPG could hit her. The wall acted as a barrier which protected Sam's soldier from the explosion. Freddie's soldier was not so fortunate. He accidently ran into Sam's second grenade which detonated on contact. His soldier fell to the ground, dead. The timer reached zero and ended the round.

Freddie's jaw dropped as he stared at the TV screen. "WHAT? NO WAY!"

Sam jumped up from the couch and raised her fists in the air. "YES! I AM THE GREATEST!" Sam danced around the couch in victory while her defeated opponent watched her with annoyance. When she was done with her victory dance, Sam sat back down on the couch and looked at Freddie with a big smile on her face.

"Say it, nub."

Freddie groaned and crossed his arms over his chest, refusing to look her. Sam scooted toward him and leaned her face closer to his. "Saaaaaay iiiiiiiiiit." She said in a mocking tone.

Freddie turned to look at her and narrowed his eyes at her for a few seconds before finally giving in. "Oh Great Master," he said unenthusiastically. "Please teach me your ways of winning this game because I am a total noob."

"There you go." Sam said as she patted his cheek in a patronizing fashion. She crawled back to her side of the couch and stared blissfully at the screen. Freddie rolled his eyes at her and turned back to the TV screen. For a few seconds, both teenagers stared at the screen in silence.

"You want to play some more?" asked Sam.

"Not really. My hands are a little sore."

"Mine too. What time is it?"

Freddie checked his watch. "It is 9:45."

"Wow, we've been playing that long?"

"Yeah, looks like it." Then Freddie smiled as a thought entered his mind. "Hey, you want to do something else?"

Sam looked at him with interest. "Yeah sure. What are you thinking?"

"I'm thinking we could go dancing."

Sam groaned in frustration. "We've been over this already! I told you I don't want to go to the dance!"

Despite her outburst, Freddie remained calm. "I'm not talking about the Valentine's Day dance. I'm talking about going to the Quisp DANce Club."

The anger on Sam's face vanished and she immediately perked up. "Oh, okay! I'm up for going clubbing!"

Freddie smiled. "Alright. Let's go." He stood up from the couch and headed for the door. Sam turned off the TV, got up from the couch and followed him.

* * *

><p>Sam and Freddie arrived at the club to find that it was filled with people. Some of them were even couples. Apparently, there were a lot of teens who thought to spend Valentine's Day at the club. Everyone was either having drinks and chatting or out on the dance floor.<p>

Sam looked at Freddie. "Could we get a drink? I'm a little thirsty from all that popcorn."

Freddie nodded. "Yeah sure." Sam and Freddie walked over to the bar and took a seat. The bartender came over to them.

"Hi. Can I get you anything?" he asked.

"I'll have a root beer." said Sam.

"Can I get a cream soda please?" asked Freddie.

The bartender nodded and began fixing their drinks. Both teenagers took a quick look at all the people in the club. "Big crowd tonight." said Sam.

"Yeah, no kidding. I didn't think this many people would be here on Valentine's Day."

"Well, not everyone goes for the traditional route. Some couples would rather go clubbing than go to a romantic dinner. Plus there's all the single people who are free to do whatever they want."

Freddie nodded. "That makes sense."

The bartender set down a mug of root beer by Sam and a bottle of cream soda by Freddie. "Here you go!"

Freddie thanked him and gave him money to cover both drinks. He and Sam took a sip from their drinks. Sam set down her mug and happily smacked her lips. Freddie set down his bottle and gave Sam an amused look. Sam noticed the look. "What?"

"You have a bit of a root beer mustache." Freddie pointed to his upper lip to add emphasis to his statement. Chuckling to herself, Sam licked her upper lip to get the foam off.

"Better?"

Freddie nodded. "Yup."

Sam took another quick sip of root beer, being careful not to get any foam on her mouth again. Once she set the mug back on the counter, she started talking. "I'm a little surprised that you suggested coming here. You don't seem like the type who likes to go clubbing."

Freddie swallowed a mouthful of cream soda and set down his bottle. "No, I like to go clubbing. I just don't do it that often."

"So how many times have you been here?"

"A couple. The first time was with your sister and the second time was with…" Freddie's voice trailed off as he remembered the last time he came to this club and he frowned slightly. Sam was puzzled by his silence and the expression on his face until she registered what he was about to say. She began to feel a little guilty for reminding him of that event and she looked away from him, focusing her gaze on her root beer mug. "Sorry for bringing that up." she said, chewing her lip in embarrassment.

"It's okay. I'm not that bothered by it anymore. Stephanie got what she deserved." Freddie then gave Sam a warm smile. "And I want to thank you for that."

Sam looked at him confused. "Thank me for what?"

"For kicking Stephanie's butt after she used me."

Sam's eyes widened slightly. "How did you know about that? I've never told anyone!"

Freddie sipped his cream soda before answering her. "I saw her at Greatest Purchase about a week after my date with her. She had a black eye and her arm was in a cast. She was crying to her boyfriend about getting beat up by a 'short girl with curly blonde hair.'"

Sam grinned. "Really? Ah man, I wish I was there to see that! It would have been sweet!"

Freddie chuckled. "Well, it sure made **my **day."

Sam laughed at his comment and then smiled. "You're welcome."

At that very moment, the DJ selected the next number on the playlist. The song _I Like It_ by Enrique Iglesias started playing through the club's speakers. Sam's ears perked up and she let out a big smile. "Dude, I love this song! Let's go dance!"

Sam grabbed Freddie's hand and ran toward the dance floor. Freddie almost dropped his cream soda as he was yanked off his bar stool. They rushed onto the dance floor to join the many teens that were already there. Once they secured a spot on the floor, Sam began to dance to the beat of the song. Freddie recovered from his initial surprise from being pulled onto the dance floor and started dancing too.

The two best friends, as well as everyone on the floor, were in a dancing frenzy. The excitement of the song and the lighting system of the dance floor had everybody pumped up. Freddie and Sam moved to the rhythm of the song, with arms waving and heads shaking. Freddie could even see Sam mouthing a few of the song's lyrics.

For the next half hour after the end of the song, the two teens followed a dance routine of sorts. They would dance for a couple of songs, take a break for some water, and then dance again. The DJ played some of their favorite upbeat songs such as _Let It Rock_ and _Like a G6_, so they were having the time of their lives out on the floor.

As soon as the playlist ended, the DJ shouted out to the crowd from his booth. "You all having a good time down there?" Sam, Freddie, and every teen on the dance floor yelled and cheered their approval. The DJ smiled and nodded in response. "Alright then! In light of Valentine's Day, what say we take things a little slow? All you guys in the club, grab your girl and hold her close 'cause it's time for a slooooooow dance!" The DJ pressed a button and the sweet melody of _Collide_ started to play in the background. Those without a dance partner exited the dance floor while the couples put their arms around each other and began to slow step to the music. Sam and Freddie looked at all the couples around them holding onto their partner and slow dancing. Then they looked at each other.

They just stood there, a little unsure of what to do. The current atmosphere of the dance floor made them feel like they were in one of those romance movies. Teenagers slow dancing all around them, a love song playing in the background, the two of them spending time together on the day of love. It was as if the ambience of the room was trying to get them to do what the couples were doing.

Neither Freddie nor Sam spoke a word. Freddie had put his hands in his pockets and was shuffling his feet. Sam was biting her lower lip and shifting her gaze between Freddie and the floor. The whole scenario made them nervous and the tension was increasing with each passing second. After a moment of standing and staring at each other, Freddie finally knew what to say for a situation like this.

"Uh, want to go to Inside Out Burger?"

"Yeah!" Sam answered quickly.

* * *

><p>At 11:45pm, Freddie's car arrived at Sam's house. The two teens had visited Inside Out Burger and took their food to go. They wanted to go someplace where they could eat in peace, so they decided to park in front of the Puckett residence and eat in the car. Once Freddie set the car in park and turned off the engine, the two began taking their food out of the bags.<p>

Pam Puckett was getting ready for bed when she noticed the car parking in front of her house from her bedroom window. She walked up to the window for a better look. She recognized Freddie's car since he has driven to her house a few times in the past. Since the car windows were down, she could see who was in the car, which gave her further assurance of who was in front of her house. She saw the fast food in their hands and knew that they would be there for some time. That was fine with her. At least she knew where her daughter was and she could trust that Benson kid to be alone with Sam. She knew he was a good guy. Pam stepped away from the window and headed to the bathroom to brush her teeth.

Freddie bit into his chicken sandwich while Sam took a big bite out of her triple bacon cheeseburger. As she chewed a mouthful of her beloved sandwich, she closed her eyes and sighed in complete bliss. "Mmmmm! Late-night cheeseburgers are the best!"

Freddie swallowed his mouthful of chicken sandwich and looked at the blonde. "What's so special about having a cheeseburger late at night?"

Sam shrugged. "I don't know. They just taste better to me."

Freddie looked up at the ceiling as he pondered about this. "Maybe they taste better at this time because they're made by a guy who only works the night shift and the people who work the day shift don't make it as good as he does. But then again, what about the other burger joints? Not all the night shift workers at those places would be able to make as good of a-."

Freddie's speech was interrupted by a ketchup packet hitting him in the temple. He turned to look at Sam, who was giving him an annoyed stare. "You're such a nerd. You don't have to analyze everything to death. Just believe me when I say late-night cheeseburgers are the best and move on."

"Okay, okay! Late-night cheeseburgers are the best!"

Sam gave him a satisfied nod. "Thank you."

The two resumed eating their food. They didn't speak for a few minutes, just chewing and swallowing and sipping their drinks in a comfortable silence. Then Sam chose to break that silence. "You know, this was actually a pretty good Valentine's Day." she said as she reached into the takeout bag for her fries.

Freddie stopped sipping his soda and looked at her. "Really?"

Sam took out several french fries and bit into them. "Yeah. It's a nice change from my usual movie night."

"So you're saying that you like Valentine's Day now?"

"Don't get me wrong, I still don't like Valentine's Day, but the movie routine was getting old. Watching a bunch of movies by yourself is not as much fun as you'd think."

Freddie wiped his mouth with his napkin. "I couldn't agree with you more. I still don't see how you could stand to do that every Valentine's Day."

Sam shrugged. "Years of practice. I guess I just got used to it."

Freddie nodded in understanding and took another bite from his sandwich. Sam stared at the dashboard, not really looking at it. She pondered over something for a few seconds before she spoke again. "Hey Freddie."

"Yeah Sam?"

"The next time Valentine's Day comes around and your next date gets sick and bails out on you, do you want to do this again?"

Freddie looked at her with a smile. "Yes. I would definitely do this again."

Sam smiled back. "Cool."

"Yeah, next time I'll have to try a late-night cheeseburger so I can see why they are all the rage."

Sam chuckled a little and then sipped what was left of her soda with a loud slurp. It was at this point that the two teenagers finished their late-night meal. Sam dropped her trash into the takeout bags and stretched her arms out, letting out a happy sigh. "I am so ready for bed right now."

Freddie tossed his sandwich wrapper into one of the bags. "Calling it a night?"

Sam nodded. "Yup. Have a good night Fredhead."

"Good night Sam."

Sam opened the car door and stepped out into the cool night air. Before she shut the door, she turned around to look at Freddie. "Hey."

Freddie stopped putting his trash in the bags and looked up at Sam.

"Thanks for tonight. I had a good time."

A smile slowed formed on Freddie's face. "You're welcome. I had fun too."

Sam returned his smile. She shut the car door and walked to her house. She opened the front door, stepped inside, and closed the door without looking back.

Freddie watched her until she was inside her house and then resumed his task of putting his trash in the bags. When he finished, he placed his hands on the steering wheel and sighed. He took a moment to look at the window that he knew was Sam's bedroom and smiled. Just as he was about to put the key into the ignition, his phone rang. He took the phone out of his pocket and looked at the screen to find a picture of Carly's face in the center of it. He pressed the answer button on the screen and put the phone to his ear.

"Hi Carly."

"Hey Freddie! Where are you?"

"I'm parked in front of Sam's house. I dropped her off and was just about to leave."

"So, how did it go?"

"It was pretty good! We played video games, hung out at the Quisp DANce Club, and then got food from Inside Out Burger. Sam had a good time."

"I'm glad to hear that. I hate it whenever Sam locks herself indoors because of her hatred for Valentine's Day. I'm just glad that she could do something fun for a change." There was a slight pause before Carly spoke again. "You're a good friend to her, Freddie. You know that?"

"Why do you say that?"

"Well, you canceled your date with Allison so Sam wouldn't be alone on Valentine's Day. Therefore, you're a good friend to her. By the way, how did Allison take it?"

"Surprisingly, she didn't mind at all. She only asked me just to have a date for the dance. She was able to get another date in time. She said she was fine with me canceling because she knew how good of a friendship Sam and I have."

"That's good. I did see Allison and her date at the dance. He is really handsome and she looked pleased with her date. I'm glad she wasn't mad."

"Yeah, me too."

"So, what did Sam say when you told her?"

"Uh…actually I didn't tell Sam."

There was a pause on the phone. "You didn't tell her?"

"No, I didn't."

"She didn't question you about Allison at all? She just went with it?"

"No, I told her that Allison was sick and couldn't go out."

"But that's not the truth! Why did you lie to Sam about that?"

Freddie shifted uncomfortable in his seat. "I don't want her to know."

Another pause. "You…don't want her to know? I don't understand. Why don't you want her to know?"

"It's complicated."

"That still doesn't answer my question, Freddie! Why did you lie to Sam?"

Freddie sighed in frustration. "I don't know! I don't know why I lied to her, Carly! I just don't want Sam to know I did this for her!"

The line on Carly's end was silent for a moment. Freddie was getting nervous the longer the silence dragged on. Just when he was about to call her name, Carly spoke first. "Is this like the time you gave up the sea cruise trip to Missy?"

Freddie leaned his head against the steering wheel, being careful not to press the horn. "Yes. It's kind of like that. I don't want to tell her I canceled my date with Allison and I would appreciate it if you didn't tell her either."

Freddie didn't hear anything on his end for a few seconds. Then he heard Carly sigh. "Okay, I won't tell her. I still don't understand your decision to keep her in the dark, but I'll respect it."

Freddie's shoulders relaxed. "Thank you."

"Okay, I'm going to go now. You drive safe, okay?"

"I will. Thank you Carly."

"Bye Freddie."

"Bye Carly."

Freddie pushed the button icon on his pear phone and cut off the connection. He pocketed his phone, put the key in the ignition, and started the car. As he pulled out onto the road, he thought about his conversation with Carly. He wasn't completely honest with Carly when he said he didn't know the reason why he didn't tell Sam the truth.

He and Sam have had a very complicated relationship since the day they have met. They started out fighting each other and getting on each other's nerves and then later became good friends who still fought and got on each other's nerves. But despite all the bickering and bashing, they were okay with how their relationship was. It was how they functioned and it was what they were comfortable with.

However, Freddie had noticed that he and Sam were getting close lately. Very close. Far beyond the terms of frenemies and maybe even best friends. They have had moments with each other that they never had with anyone else, not even Carly. They had given each other their first kiss. They had a friendly prop fight in the studio. They skipped school together. He had to admit, they were the best times of his life and they were all shared with her.

Freddie's cheeks turned a little red when he thought about Sam. Did he…feel something for her? Something special that he felt for no other person? He wasn't completely sure.

But even if he did feel something for her, he knew that he couldn't pursue it. He and Sam had an unspoken agreement between them. They would be on good terms while at the same time make each other's lives miserable. They kept to that agreement as if it was some kind of rule that they were not supposed to break. It was like…some kind of game they were playing. If the rules of the game were broken, then everything would fall apart.

That was the reason why he didn't tell Sam about canceling his date with Allison. If she knew about it, then she would get suspicious about his motives and their relationship would become awkward. So their relationship could not go any farther than what they had now. They had a good thing going for them right now and he was not going to mess that up by breaking the rules of their game. Besides, it's not like she felt the same thing for him.

As Freddie drove down the road, he told himself that he and Sam were just friends. Nothing more or less. That's how their relationship was supposed to be and nothing would ever change it. That he could be sure of…

…Little did he know, one month later he would be questioning their relationship at the annual Ridgeway Lock-in.

* * *

><p><strong>AN: And so this concludes Chapter 10 and <strong>_**My Life is a Song**_**. I had so much fun writing this story and I hope you all had as much fun reading it.**

**The lyric for this chapter is from **_**The Story**_** by Brandi Carlile. I thought this song would be a good way to wrap up the story.**

**Since Fred exists in the iCarly universe, I thought that Fred: The Movie would exist in it too. If you've seen the movie, then you know why Sam and Freddie think that Bertha looks just like Sam.**

**And now for the parodies:**

**-The Old Ravioli Factory is a parody of the **_**Old Spaghetti Factory**_**.**

**-Bananabee's is a parody of **_**Applebee's**_**.**

**-The S-box is…well, I probably don't need to tell you what it's a parody of.**

**Finally, I want to thank you all for reading my story and especially those of you who gave your reviews. I really appreciate all of your comments. You have made writing this story all the more fun. I wish you all the very best at everything that you do. Take care, everyone!**

**-tdrummer14**


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